Thanks for the Brioche Janet
Real men piss on the bodies of those they’ve just killed, because Saddam flew the jets on 9/11, then mailed some anthrax to the Army for distribution…all the while colluding with Iran and al Qaeda, so that Bank of America could foreclose upon millions of Patriot Acted peoples homes.
Imagine the day when the Bush twins, Malia, Sasha and George Nethercutt “get it”.
The chances of George Nethercutt understanding anything not spoon fed to him from K Street…are about as real as the liberal motives behind President Obama’s Bush. And George…stop piggybacking on my words. Debra Wilde and I know what’s best for the Inlander…and you’re definitely it.
Liberal politicians, George, are as real as the corporate dollars they enjoy. President Obama has already raised almost $70 million dollars to combat against the best Mormon that the Koch Brothers could buy.
As the suits at Northrop Grumman like to say, go get em’ George! Hence your monthly articles. Which is funny, because the suits at Citigroup and Lockheed Martin are also cheering for Obama. Hence his next
four years.
All this same samness sure is different!
The upcoming war with Iran, will look much the same as Obama’s wars with any brown-skinned humans who currently live near oil.
That doesn’t seem all Lilly-liberally to me, but we have to remember who Nethercutt and Obama genuflect to…and the Koch Brothers two do not resemble God.
Or do they?
The terror that we are spreading in Iran, Yemen, Mexico, Chicago and any of the Stans…keeps we the Patriot Acted from acting. We welcome being NDAA’d and SOPA’d…just as long as it’s right after we’ve finished Tebowing something at the mall.
The trouble with Tribbles, Mr. Nethercutt, is that they reproduce like the Teabagging bunnies in Medical Lake. The trouble with you, George, is that Obama is so far and above the better Bush, you just can’t believe that he’s black.
Liberal politicians do not exist…Mr. Nethercutt. Like term limits, they are a figment of Raytheon’s imagination.
You see George, I’m a little bit like the Spokane Police Department. First they ignore you, then they beat you in the head with an ironwood baton, then they sit on you until you suffocate and die…all for wanting a Pepsi and a candy bar. Actually, most humans are nothing like that. So I lied. Which makes me more like you and the President…
If it helps, George, perhaps you can talk with a psycho CIA psychologist in Airway Heights, and tell em’ Sherman Alexie sent you. Then why not do something constructive, like read about Carl Maxey in the very same outlet your crap is in.
Now if you’ll excuse me, Janet Napolitano just sent me some brioche. She is so on to my love of bread!
Within Half a Degree of Kevin’s Bacon
Everything that has ever existed in this quadrant of the known universe, was at one time or another…only separated from Kevin Bacon by a couple of degrees. I may not know spit about Kevin’s bacon, but I do know that we’d rather assassinate Iranian scientists, than admit that our Xbox’s of freedom are based on a yet to be finished, historical fiction piece…plagiarized by Janet Napolitano.
Oh the lengths that China will go, just to keep us busy stockpiling duct-tape and plastic sheeting!
Kevin’s bacon reminds me of the Cliff Poncier in my head. Which by the way, is today’s VLens segue of the day! 
Cliff knew Kevin’s wife, Kyra Sedgwick, back when Kevin was making A Few Good Men. I don’t think that Tom Cruise knew Cliff Poncier, but I’m certain that Matt Dillion knew Tom – when Tom was playing Steve Randle. No one bought Tom as Steve Randle, but everyone bought him as ‘Maverick’. Which speaks volumes about us…
So now that we’re clear about Cliff Poncier’s connection to Tom Cruise…it’s probably time that someone looked into Kim Jong-un’s degree of separation from Stanley McChrystal, and how it might relate to Krya Sedgwick.
Kim Jong’s-un likes to pose for photos while pointing at things just off camera, while General McChrystal will work for Siemens. I really don’t care what Stanley will do for Siemens – but Rick Santorum does. Rick cares about where and into whom – Siemens leaves their business. Kim Jong-un would like to get a boat load of Siemens business…while Dan Savage and Kyra Sedgwick are only mentioned here for “continuity”.
Dan Savage works and lives in Seattle, where Kyra once worked with the fictional Cliff Poncier. Fictional Cliff pretended to play Soundgarden tunes while working with Kyra and Bridget Fonda. I was already listening to Soundgarden in Spokane – where Evel Knievel, myself and many others, took turns drinking ourselves to oblivion at Flaherty’s and the Ridpath. At some point I also watched Singles, but never jumped over shit with my motorcycle.
Soundgarden probably never drank to oblivion on top of the Ridpath in Spokane…but I’m certain that Kevin’s bacon and or Bridget Fonda are somehow involved. So naturally…it’s all relevant!
Knowing what we now know about the connectivity of Kevin’s bacon to pretty much everything…it’s probably safe for us to blame the Bush-Citigroup policies of Obama on Matt Dillon.
Coming up tomorrow, the Vigilant Lens will be investigating the suspicious death of Betamax, and next week, look for my hard-hitting expose’ about Alec Baldwin’s birth certificate – and it’s complicity in the cancellation of Magnum PI…
Vodpod videos no longer available.I Can Neither Confirm nor Deny the Shallow End of the Gene Pool
Chickenhawks come in all political shapes, sizes and parties. It’s not the size of the phallic bluster that matters…it’s which corporation said chickenhawk desires to be impaled by that counts.
An ugly mental image to be sure, but this is why we have big media…so that war criminals like Bush – can remain as free as war criminals like Obama.
I suppose this is also why Portlandia wasn’t called
Killingsworth and NE 60th.
For some of the very same reasons, we will hear Leon Panetta on one day – admit that Iran isn’t building a nuclear weapon, and then on the next – Rick Perry threaten to re-invade Iraq.
We could just blame the shallow end of Rick Perry’s gene pool, but I think blaming Portlandia for Killingsworth – makes more sense. 
In addition to never hearing cool things about NE Portland, we will also-‘almost‘ never hear about, boatloads of nuclear weapons just about colliding with merchant ships.
Why come? Because said boatloads of WMD’s sail by much too closely…to the Border Patrol’s ‘Spanish-speaking human hunting grounds’, in Forks Washington.
Why for wha? Because as we all know, only teenage Mormon vampires should live in Forks, Washington. That’s why. Besides, if we let our billions of tax dollars go to things like roads, schools and health-scare instead of saaayyy, Homeland Security — then the Iranian’s, or the al-TaliQaedaban, and or the North Korean’s will surely just sit there where they live…until the CIA builds some bombs for them.
Ad nauseam and repeat.
As if by osmosis, Kyung M. Song of the Seattle Times is reporting that among other crap…the Homeland has approximately 1800 nuclear warheads deployed. ‘But‘, all that is needed to destroy every major city in Russia and China…are on board the fleet of poorly driven subs…which can barely dodge the Walmart laden merchant ships just north of Port Angeles.
Either the shallow end of the gene pool is getting deeper –
or the reasons for everything have nothing to do with anything.
Or dogs, the back side of mirrors…and or hats on beds.
At least I’m pretty sure that might be what Bob Hughes said.
Rick Steves – Stoned? Or Just the Smartest Man on the Planet?
Not Rick Steves
Rick Steves knows a few things about places that exist elsewhere. These places exist far beyond the furthest WalMart that most of us have only dreamed of visiting.
I once thought that the Walmart in Omak, Washington, had the best $4 dollar plastic storage bins that I’d ever laid eyes on. These days, the Poulsbo, Washington, location is the Walmart to be seen at. But their bins cost almost $60 bucks! Proof positive…that a Walmart segue to another paragraph can be fraught with overpriced plastic crap.
For those of you near Tenino, WA, who’ve never heard of Rick Steves, there’s probably a good reason for that. Rick supports marijuana stores in small towns and he also has a travel empire, where he shows us how to travel beyond the furthest Walmart of our dreams. As you will see at about 35 sec. into the video just below, Rick may or may not be stoned…but he’s certainly been further than the farthest Walmart of our dreams. Which these days, still makes him one of the smartest men on the planet.
“Like most Americans, I know almost nothing about Iran…”
Maury and The Astronauts
Someone once gave Buzz Aldrin the keys to the secret space condo on the moon. Buzz says he gave the keys to Neil – Neil says Buzz was never there…
In addition to starting another moon landing conspiracy, I’d also like to take this time to go on record, as to being against anything Buzz Aldrin has to say about Mars.
Astronauts. Pfft.
Astronauts are a bit like Maury Povich. You can’t trust any of them with the keys to the Goddamned secret moon condo…and no one other than Connie Chung, really knows why Maury and the astronauts are still gainfully employed.
So if Buzz “ever gets the keys” to a blog like AOL/Huffpost – remain calm, but do try to be vigilant. Cold War rocket jockeys love to warn about Chinese or “Soviet” space race wars…but give us a heads-up about Fannie, Freddie or Maury Povich?
Just step away from the keys Buzz.
In related news…Tiger Woods’ ex-wife just bulldozed a $12 million dollar cabin in North Palm Beach, Florida.
Why? Because to Nike and Elin, Thursday is just the day after Wednesday.
Vodpod videos no longer available.Quote the Olbermann Fraction
Quotes are almost as cool as being over 50 and dating Scarlett Johansson. Or if you happen to be Scarlett, I’m sure Sean’s stories about Shanghai Surprise…were almost as awesome as anything Bill Murray touches. But I somehow doubt it.
Which brings me to Ralph Nader via Counterpunch, and the quote of the day.
Let’s face it, if today’s Republicans are the most craven, greedy, ignorant, anti-worker, anti-patient, anti-consumer, anti-environment and coddlers of corporate crime in the party’s history, why aren’t the Democrats landsliding them?
Great point Ralph, but I would have tossed in a “why haven’t we renditioned the Democrats to Bagram yet?”
It’s my commentary like the above, that help us understand why I’m able to maintain a fraction of a fraction, of Keith Olbermann’s fraction – of his former one million viewers at MSNBC.
Or maybe it’s just my Indiana Englishin’ of the language, which can, and is frequently…lost in translation.
Either way, quoting Olbermann’s fractions are not for everyone. Just like paying attention to what the Democrats actually support, instead of imprisoning them for continuing the policies of the Bush.
Shanghai Surprises aren’t always what you think they’re supposed to be. Sean knows this, and Scarlett probably figured it out too.
Lessons sure are hard to come by in the Homeland these days. I suppose if I were forced to suss one out of this post…it might be that Madonna’s performance in Vision Quest, was far superior to anything Senator Patty Murray has done…since selling her soul to
Rep. Norm Dicks.
Knobs
Some knobs are useful. Others – not so much.
If there were one giant knob that we could easily grasp and open the door to common sense with…we’d Tebow it instead.
When opening doors, some knobs tend to turn to the left. When closing them, other knobs will turn to the right.
Knobs go both ways. Corporate owned and political party operative bloggers – do not.
God didn’t create the media, J. Edgar Hoover did. Edgar needed stenographers and stenographers is what we got.
Hoover’s knob turned both ways.
Rick Santorum’s “does not”.
Knobs are all around us.
Some turn to the left and some will turn to the right.
The door can still be opened
the Homeland Spring will not be blocked.
A media transparency project might help.
Turn those knobs – please step over the stenographers corpse.
The Vigilant Lens 