Change is Funny
It’s 2012. If you’re still convinced that the evildoing Teabangers of Congress are blocking every earth ending/Bush-like move of the president, then you’re as conservative as Obama’s Bagram.
It’s like 1963. If you’re convinced that the president’s fiscal, Homeland and foreign Bush-like policies are so frighteningly liberal – that Jesus himself has stopped talking to Sheriff Arpaio…then you’re as conservative as Obama’s Guantanamo.
Change is funny isn’t it?
We can be so caught up in the travels and work ethic of Jim Harbaugh – that we’d ignore the fingerless glove of Raytheon that’s currently shoved up our asses of freedom…as we patiently wait for the thick fingers of Wall Street.
Change sure seems like an anal probing from Lockheed Martin. 
Just today – I hear that Chuck Norris has endorsed the many ex-wives of the Newt.
That sure reeks. It reeks of change.
Just today – I see yet another racist cop beating an elderly disabled man…because he was black. That reeks. It reeks of Change.
The CIA was helping the NYPD spy upon activists, humans of color and anyone they damn well felt like. That smells like a crime – with just a smear-age of the GEO Group thrown in for profit. That’s change. Change that Joshua Holland does ignore.
Change is Herman Cain singing at a Colbert campaign stop. That’s funny. It’s sad. That’s change.
Teabaggers are incensed with the liberal change in direction the Homeland has taken. Democrats are fighting mad that anyone has noticed what never-ending liberal wars actually look like. That, that my friends…is change.
Hey check it out! Snooki looks great without make-up, which is weird, because so does Jim Harbaugh. That’s distracting. That’s news.
A President Palin and Vice President Busta Rhymes would be different…but there still wouldn’t be much change.
Change is funny. Funny is the change.
Search This
It’s just another drone war day in the Homeland, where Bank of America is still free, and if SOPA were up and behaving like the Patriot Act…Justin Beiber would be at Guantanamo?
I don’t know what Kenneth Rapoza is baking into his brownies over at Forbes, but I’d trade Beiber’s freedom for Leonard Peltier’s any day.
Mentioning Peltier’s freedom over Beiber’s, reminds me of some of the terms that are searched for here at the V-Lens. Oh sure the usual “Sarah Palin nipples + naked” searches never go away…but it’s the various self-searching agencies of the homeland securing apparatus – constantly searching here for themselves that makes me proud.
As Rick’s santorum has discovered, self-searching the internet for references to yourself, can bring about unintended consequences.
I’m not saying that Rick’s frothy santorum is to blame for the state of our Homeland State…but where there’s frothy santorum, there’s probably quite a few blog searching dorks with top-secret clearances. So make of that what you will.
Let’s go to the short list of recent self-searching searches at the V-Lens! Walk this way…
- The glorious Department of Homeland Security searched for – bcp3.cbp.dhs.gov
- The far less glorious FBI searched for – 153.31.113.20
- Boeing at Andrews AFB – self-searching
- Institute For Defense Analyses – who knows!
- ‘Pretend’ Twitter users like @oaken123 – just fishing
- The hard-working humans at Booze Allen Hamilton – angry fishing
- A human from I Can Has Cheezeburger? – has never searched here for anything
If we are to take anything away from my legions of ‘lolcats’ who have never been here, it’s gotta be – thank Romney’s God! that Mitt lived in the real streets!!
I think it was Einstein that once said: Only two things are real, pornography and lies, and I’m lying about the former.
Okay, sorry. That was actually me.
Search here – Search there
Search them – search us
Search behind the mirror…
Search this.
SOPA de Ponzi – Patriot
Soup is nice on a plate – but it’s far better in a bowl.
In the Homeland our soup is served up on plates.
We then eat the soup with forks, because bleeped F-bombs on the teevee…are at least as scary as the Army Anthrax Attacks.
Our soup-filled plates are provided to us by our Constitution, which is interpreted by our K Street Congress…as the document by which the forks can be dispersed amongst us.
To ensure that we the people have a tough time getting a spoon – to better eat the soup from our plates…God did create Wolf Blitzer.
Wolf tells us what we need to know about K Street owned politicians, Iran and from where we can find cheaper forks. 
After Wolf – the plates become paper – the forks become straws. Straws with more than two holes.
Some of us are sick of eating our soup from a plate. Forks are for stabbing at meat – they’re not for forking at air.
This is why we were given Ronald Reagan. Ronnie was the new Nixon, while Nixon was more alert than George W. Bush. Dubya was the demon seed of his idiot father, who both it turns out…wanted to be like Clinton. President Obama is no Bill Clinton…but he does play a mean
Ronald Reagan.
When too many of us ask: “how it is that we have trillions for never-ending Boeing wars, Wall Street and the Czar Petraeus” – “but none for education, health care, jobs and sewage treatment plants?” – They do create the Patriot Acts.
When too many of us tire of eating soup from paper plates…they will create Vietghanistan, Iran and then outlaw the plates.
When we tire of the forks, the hole filled straws and Wolf Blitzer’s stenography…they do create Obama’s NDAA, the SOPA, and then imprison you for smoking the “dopa”.
Spoons and bowls – are for those who don’t even like our soup.
Take their spoons. Steal their bowls.
Ignore the Blitzer.
Eat.
Fling It
The pretend poet Chris Stevens once said: “it’s not the thing you fling, but the fling itself.”
Tomorrow this post and blog will be blacked out. The day after tomorrow, the Pentagon, Wall Street, K Street, Boeing and Lockheed Martin…will not.
Having been to many a protest, I know that marching in circles with incorrectly “spelt” signs…can garner more attention than the crimes of Oliver North.
So here’s to another protest.
May it hit em’ in the profit zone on Wednesday –
may it then jar your Patriot Acted memory on Thursday.
Karl Rove is free to walk amongst us –
with the National Defense Authorization Act –
you just might – not.
***
Intellectualizing the Snowgasm
First they ignore you.
Then they came for the marijuana smokers
and I didn’t speak out because I was a drinker.
Then they laugh at you.
Soon after, they came for the Spanish Speakers
and I didn’t speak out because we’d already come for the Japanese.
Then they fight you.
And then they came for the Occupiers, the Democrats and the Republicans. I didn’t speak out because I was unemployed, uneducated and something happened just before
the Army Anthrax Attacks.
Then they spied on everyone, expanded the never-ending wars on everything and our food too.
I didn’t speak out
because Obama…
was a…
Democrat.
Then they came for me, but it was too late…because we’d been co-opted long before we even knew what being co-opted was.
And besides, the media was pretty concerned about the snow.
But not much else.
And then we won.
And I’ll be damned if it didn’t snow.
Remember the Day
I don’t remember the day that Martin Luther King Jr. died.
But I do remember the day that Clyde Drexler won his first NBA ring.
I don’t remember the day that we won the Vietnam War.
But I do remember the day that the mission was accomplished in Iraq. The second time – the third – and maybe the first.
I’m not positive who killed JFK, Mostafa Ahmadi Roshan, RFK, Darioush Rezaeinejad, Pat Tillman or the electric car.
But I do remember who killed Laura Palmer.
Some times you feel like a nut… I’d like to buy the world a Koch… Two all beef patties – special sauce… Can you hear me now… Oh I wish I were an Oscar Meyer… And sometimes you don’t.
Remember the better days – never forget the worst.
Vodpod videos no longer available.“Indian policy” has now been brought down upon the American people, and the American people are the new Indians of the 21st Century.
–Russell Means
Corporate Math
Yesterday I was able to fill my freedom tank with freedom’s gas, for only $3.12 per gallon! With my Safeway discount, I think I may have saved the lives of 2.5 Iranian children – by shortening the lives of the rest of us. It’s kind of like going to church – without all the guilty repression and pedophilia.
That’s corporate math for ya. Run with the profits today – before those who care what Elisabeth Hasselbeck said to Joy Behar…figure shit out.
Like the pretend promises of the wonder liquid called DMSO; by the time the masses figure out that our common sense died in 1980 – gas at $3.12 per gallon and phones that allow you to think even less…will excite us more than clean water.
Corporate math – is where it’s at. 
Freedom isn’t making a penny off of Obama’s endless Bush wars. Health-scare, dental-scare, edumication, your civil liberties, the environment and your ability to feed yourself non-death inducing foodstuffs…are making less-than a worthless penny off of Obama’s endless Bush wars.
Corporate math tells us that – any corporation involved with Obama’s endless Bush wars, Wall Street, pharmaceuticals, or any other earth-like ending gadgets…are making earth ending amounts of profit. Obviously, corporate math works better than Reagan’s big government cheese program, ever dreamed possible!
The upcoming Pentagon budget is going to be axed about as much as Lockheed Martin’s. In other words, see above, and or below for more.
(shhhh, It’s called corporate math)
The President, much to his credit, is calling upon Congress to give him Freedom’s Reigns!, so that he might consolidate several federal commerce and trade agencies. This would save we the Patriot Acted, over $3 billion dollars! Over ten years! They think we’re stupid! And they’re right!
That’s corporate math baby…see Elisabeth Hasselbeck for more.
Who’s the defense industries favorite presidential candidate – since 2008? He don’t wear sweater vests – he doesn’t like Utah, and he hates Texas almost as much as he loves Citigroup…he’s?
Perhaps we should just wait for Soledad O’Brien to tell us more?
Corporate math.
When adding it all together
you must always first subtract.
For more on this developing story, I’m off to hear what Joy Behar might have to say about what Elisabeth Hasselbeck has to say…
Happy Friday. And good luck.
The Vigilant Lens 