Submit and Don’t Eat the Fish
TSA Chief John Pistole, wants us to believe that the ‘e’ in Pistole is silent. I believe this is because Pistole rhymes so well with frijole. You say pistol, I say Boehner. Boehner, pistol, frijole…it matters not, because Mr. Pistole will still require that you submit to the Homeland’s crotch grab for freedom.
Submit to the Pistole!
Submit or don’t fly. Is this not Southwest Airlines new motto?
I read that over 80 percent of Teabangers polled, support the TSA’s crotch viewing and or rubbing for freedom. Of course the fact that only 1.2 percent of those same Teabangers polled, have even set foot in an airport in the last 25 years…so you know, take that poll with a grain of Israeli white phosphorus.
Speaking of WMD’s!! The Hanford Nuclear wasteland, located just south-west of Clint Didier’s socialist farm of Marxism…is reportedly so contaminated with radiation and other nuclear tomfoolery, that officials are saying we should just submit and go along quietly.
So fellow patriots, when flying home for Thanksgiving, keep this mind. Your wife will leave you for the lesbian TSA agent…that just introduced your betrothed to the finger of freedom. I find this fact…very comforting.
For those of you living within a 700 mile radius and or downstream of the Hanford Nuclear Reservation of Death…I offer my condolences, but you must submit and for fucks sakes, don’t eat the fish!
The Tampon Police
God's Plan?
The TSA is Janet Napolitano’s way of paying it forward. The groundbreaking for George W Bush’s library, is God’s way of reminding us that George W. Bush did not keep us safe on 9/11.
Bush also failed to protect us from the Army Anthrax attacks and the never-ending wars against the lower classes. Let us also not forget how Bush failed to protect us from Monsanto, Wall Street and Mexicans.
Bush did do a fabulous job of protecting us from books, the English language and Canadians…so there’s that.
It seems as of late, the Bush has been shoved in our faces and we’ve been forced to either turn a blind eye, or worse yet, jump in with both feet and see what all the hubbub is about. For others, there’s always the opportunity to learn about abstinence, marriage and contraception from Bristol Palin and The Situation!
If I were to say that the Tampon Police are looking to yank that string of freedom and see if anything explodes…you should in fact not be surprised. Why so many of us are surprised to hear that Bank of America is stealing your homes and giving them to illegal Mexicans, who were waiting in line to steal your healthcare, jobs and your false sense of an ethnic identity…who the hell knows? But I am fairly certain it has something to do with Obama’s birth certificate or Celine Dion.
So when you outraged patriots, progressive’s and conservadems, find your wife being probed, squeezed and diddled for freedom by a TSA agent…keep in mind that every TSA agent is at least as good at pulling the tampon string of freedom…as any Border Patrol agent is at speaking Farsi.
God bless you Tampon Police!
The Seminal Blue Dress
Anthrax - Steven Hatfill + Cheney = Long Wars
When too many people start paying attention to things, you can expect the working class to incur the wrath of the ruling class. When the working class debits its way into the middle class, the ruling class will then trickle down the lesser class to death…via regressive taxation, anthrax attacks and the long wars on Islam.
Reagan’s shit filled diapers, flowed down to us in the form of supply-side economics, monopolies and Clinton’s blow jobs, which as many of us know, resulted in the cum-stained, blue dress of Lewinsky…that repealed the Glass-Steagall Act.
The Homeland’s criminally bailed out banks, have not been prosecuted for the mortgage frauds that created the Great Depression of 2007-2015. Toss in Iraq, Vietghanistan and the dismantling of the Teabanger retirement fund called Social Security and Medicare…adjust for stupidity, carry the 9/11, subtract the Miley Cyrus effect…then add in the Bush tax cuts for the rich and you get anywhere from 5 trillion to over 30 trillion dollars in debt.
Of course your debt mileage may vary, depending on how well you did in 8th grade math.
Perhaps it’s easier to just blame the cum-stained blue dress of Lewinsky…
Enjoy your dim sum patriots!
Sewell Avery Obama
FDR Corporate Bailout
President Obama is no New Dealer, he’s a New Busher.
Avery hated unions, Democracy and laws…President Obama has a wonderful grasp of the English language.
Aung San Suu Kyi has spent her life trying not to be a New Busher…which is why she is a Nobel Peace laureate.
President Obama is a Nobel Peace laureate, due to his wars on Islam, Democracy and the unemployed humans of the Homeland.
Counties across the Homeland are slashing budgets and laying off cops…much to the bowel quaking fear of the voters, who want the rich to get richer and the poor to get Ak-47’s.
We’re like the Republic of the Union of Myanmar, with more Starbucks!!
Or Bremerton without Soundgarden.
Fetus Envy by Matt Lauer
I celebrated my Veterans Day, by trying to enlist some liberal elite Democrats into the Marine Corps…so they too could fight the never-ending Bush/Obama wars on Islam. I was about as successful as a Norm Dicks hand job at an Airbus company picnic.
As George W. Bush tours the Homeland, answering questions about his shoe size and the Texas Rangers…only one millionaire journalist of the pretend kind was able to ask a half scripted question…that was totally scripted.
Fox News’ Bill O’ Reilly was the millionaire and George W didn’t bat an eye, or give up anymore insane family details. Insane family details llliiiiiikkkkeeee his mommies miscarried fetus in a jar…
This means of course, that not only did W know what Bill O’ was going to ask, it also proves that Karl Rove was in it for the Bush.
Moving right along.org…
As much as Jon Stewart wants everyone to just get along…we probably should remember that he’s a fucking comedian, not a fucking war criminal. The war criminals work for us, Jon works for laughs, not unlike Representative John Conyers.
Representative Conyers has been threatening to investigate/impeach and or probe the Bush administration for about 42 years and some change…
Stand back! Watch and witness the justice unfurl itself, as Rep. Conyers again joins in the chorus for a Bush probe. Now relax and enjoy some delicious Gulf of Illegal Mexican shrimp, clams and pescado…because nothing spells Plutocracy, like another pretend probe of the Bush.
Like my good friends on the Colville Indian Reservation like to say, if you can’t find justice, jobs or decent health care/education in the Homeland…why not get it from Turkey!?
The cowboys always win, enit.
Cigarettes Bad, Torture Good
In the Homeland, short, easily digested propaganda…works better than the fifth grade.
I knows edumication in this here land sucks ass, but I also knows that endless war creates jobs and wealth for those who deserve it more than I do.
I’m confused, but happy to know that smoking and tobacco is are bad for me and my meth addicted baby…just like Islam and Mexican drug warlords…is are twoo. 
443,000 peoples of the Homeland die every year from tobacco. 46 million adults smoke the stuff, while almost 20 percent of our bored high school kids enjoy it too.
Why we have yet to invade, conquer and spread Democracy here…I do not know.
George W Bush said that torture was legal, because some attorney made sure that Obama would not prosecute him for it.
I buy that.
The CIA, the FBI and Saudi Arabia let those Iraqi/Afpaki terrorists attack us on 9/11, because jobs for Halliburton and Boeing were needed.
The murder of 443,000 Homelandian’s per year occurs, because R.J. Reynolds and friends…hate our freedoms.
The wars against Islam, common sense and marijuana occur, because our edumication cistum sucks ass and we beeliefe what criminals like Representative John Shimkus…have to say.
Couple that with our fear of gay sex, masturbation and PBS…and well, you might as well take up smoking.
RandTucky Twilight?
The horror…The horror.
Teabangers in RandTucky have just discovered that when you write ‘Tea Party‘ on a piece of paper, then hold it up to a mirror…no reflection will be found. Interestingly enough, when President Obama looks in the mirror, all he sees are dead people.
Vampires, empire and earmarks…I go away for a couple of days and all the same shit breaks loose!
