Revolution! Donuts!
The peoples are in the streets demanding change. Demanding democracy. Demanding representation, not corporate servitude.
Egypt today…Kansas tomorrow!
I just about got through that with a straight face. We don’t revolt, we eat ourselves to death, cheer the flag and watch as much porn as we can, until the wife catches you. You go to church on Sunday, pray for forgiveness and the death of all Muslim babies…then wait for the Tea Party to cut veterans benefits.
The Teabangers are able to read their morale compasses at least as well as the Obamabangers. Both are currently lost in the woods of complicity and neither will make it out before Monsanto kills the rest of us to death.
Revolution!
Both the Teabaggers and the Obamabaggers are nuts. They might as well take their unemployment lying down and eat a donut. Or maybe even a doughnut?, and watch another season of exciting Mariners baseball!
When Bush was torturing, invading and occupying his way across the planet, the soon to be Obamabangers were livid. Livid and so fit to be tied, they marched in several protest parades of no real change…then voted for change and took their Obama torture wars and went home.
When Bush was torturing, invading and occupying his way across the planet…he was also really busy ruining the economy for the next 3 or 4 generations…assuming they survive Monsanto. There were no Tea Party protests. There was no party of tea, until a black man became the better Bush.
Step away from the donuts and no one gets hurt! Unless you live in Spokane, Seattle or anywhere else in the peace lovin’ Homeland.
Bush was one of the worst things to have ever occurred in the Homeland. Obama is the better Bush. I’m not sure why everyone is so confused?
Revolutions in Egypt, or here in the ever Napolitanoed Homeland of paranoia…do not make oil any cheaper.
A happy, gainfully employed populace with access to a decent, affordable education, health care, retirement with free porn and beer…well, let’s just say it’s too bad me and mines aren’t ruling
the world.
Revolution! Donuts! Or Doughnuts?! Beer! and no Marijuana.
Late Night Madness
Most horses hate the letter W. Retarded horses however…
Hey it’s Friday night! Why not enjoy some madness? And please join me in welcoming some new DoD readers to the Lens…did Mitchell and Jessen send y’all?
Let’s jump in.
Bristol Palin…need I say more? Yes, yes I must. Bristol was all set to enlighten the kids at Washington U. with a $20 thousand dollar talk about abstinence and teen pregnancy. Now she’s not.
Madness.
When I’m forced to dwell in madness, it’s usually because I’ve been drinking while reading about a Palin or the Bachmann. Drinking and dwelling usually allows me to ponder the seasoned beef at Taco Bell…and its relationship with the Army and its lost VX nerve agent. Since I haven’t eaten at a Taco Bell since I was like 8, I have no idea if there’s any relationship between the Army’s handling of earth ending nerve agents…or seasoned beef.
I do wonder, quite frequently, about the Army Anthrax attacks and the lost Air Force nukes…and what relationship they might share with Ashton Kutcher, or Taco Bell’s seasoned beef.
Wacky Wackenhut, no?
Perhaps we should just tax ourselves a ka-billion dollars and just give it to Tim Eyman. This way, Tim can stop fucking with the seasoned beef eaters of Wenatchee and just move on and do something useful with his life.
Like buying East Wenatchee. Yes, Tim should just buy East Wenatchee and move the Costco to Waterville.
The people will follow Tim, just lead them to Waterville.
Hasta mañana Homeland!
Bachmann Turner Overdriven
No it's Not!
CNN is reporting that the Bush league era, color-coded Homeland Security Advisory System, is about to be extraordinarily renditioned to a secret CIA torture site in Spokane, Washington.
Evidently, Spokane was chosen to house the old terrorist color coding system, because no one ever really pays attention to anything that occurs out there anyway.
I know it’s true, because CNN told me it was.
I think we need to take CNN seriously, as they’re the ONLY network to have brought you the magic that was the Michele Bachmann/Teabanging response, to the conservative Obama and his SOFTU address. You should also take the Lens seriously, because I get most of my inside information from Henry Rolon…Custom and Border Protection’s acting assistant commissioner for public affairs. Thanks Henry!
Sure my inside info on all things Homelandish is tainted. But just like CNN and the media empire that owns Spokane, we all expect you to buy what we’re selling. I’m no Ted Turner, but I have taken photos of Jane Fonda. I’m no W. Stacey Cowles, but I have fought while drunk at Flaherty’s. I don’t have the wherewithal to build a shopping mall out of lies and public funds, but I do miss the skywalk. 
Many media outlets of the Homeland are pushing the Homeland approved agenda. So when you hear that Glenn Beck believes the Cowles media empire to be at least as sound as Prosecutor Steve Tucker’s golf game…you’ll know you should be reading the Inlander.
Like the CIA/Fairchild torture school, located by the ancient Kalispel hunting grounds and their Airway Heights casino…CNN has foisted Michele Bachmann upon you as if she were a Palin. This of course allows the Cowles Review/Tucker show, to then make the news and report on it as if it were real.
It’s all a bit like a vacation at a Mitchell and Jessen torture motel.
Like Chris Peck used to say…I haven’t had enough coffee to tie all this shit together for you…so make sure you watch Q6 News between 0430 and 0700, or 1700 and 1730, or 1800 and 1830, or 2300 and 2335 for more!!
I think we’ve all just been Bachmann, Turner Overdriven.
SOTU said GTFOH then STFU and left with OPP
Yes, it’s the Vigilant Lens report back on the State of the Union Address! God help us all.
Many stupid things were alluded to, many things were ignored and Michele Bachmann was allowed on your teevee.
I find that Michele is far more entertaining to watch…as I think she actually believes what she’s saying. She’s a bit like Gump, with a touch of Rain Man…all wrapped up in a Clinton.
And my readers in Virginia think I’m nuts?
Anyway, President Obama’s SOFTU was everything I’d heard it could be. It was long, it ignored the Depression and the really-really fucking expensive Bush wars that are now Obama’s and we still have no idea how fabulously poisoned the wine is that comes from 
anywhere near Tri-Cities Washington.
The SOFTU was all GTFOH! and STFU! and then the President left us with some OPP, which would be Bachmann, for those of you playing along at work.
Remember, the wars are free and are being brought to you by GE, Boeing and Comcast/NBC Universal…because you thought FOX News was full of shit.
Jesus, what’s next? Border Patrol Agents calling for the legalization of plants?
Yeah you know the Homeland! (add NBC/Comcast laugh track here)
Olympia Without the Beer Factory
On Monday, having spent far too long wandering the Capitol grounds in Olympia, it became painfully apparent that the place was about as useful as the empty Olympia brewery was…when it was open.
The free-flowing waters of the Deschutes River once made Oly Beer what it was.
Strangely enough, I realized during my visit with our Washington State Legislature, that they too tasted like the slow-witted foothills above Centralia.
It’s the water alright.
Clean Centralia Coal/Beer
In getting back to reality, I think we can blame the various insanities that infect our Homeland, on our many watered down beers that get their distinctive flavors from slow-witted water sources…just like the bass-ackwards Deschutes River, which flows ass-backwards from the hills above Centralia, Washington.
Bradley Manning has been tortured for months now…because he has no known association with Julian Assange. PFC Manning is one of the only members of the entire armed services, to have recalled that he is not to follow illegal orders.
Private Manning is also not the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, because there is no room at the top for a human with a conscience. There is no need for a General that can differentiate between al Qaeda and the CIA…or the FBI from John Towery, or John Towery from the Army, or even the Army from John Towery’s Social Security number.
We’ve been torturing POW’s to death via the CIA and a few Oly Beer drinking idiots, for longer than Todd Palin has allegedly been banging his masseuse. Much, much….muchmuchmuch longer.
The antiwar movement of Prius drivers that once opposed the Bush Wars, are still pretty much in agreement that the Obama Wars don’t count. Prius drivers! Saving the planet…one co-op trip at a time…while simultaneously ignoring the Obama wars against, well, pretty much everything.
The Spokane bomb? Also not connected to the CIA’s psychopathic duo of torture: Mitchell and Jessen…just as the torture school in Airway Heights is in fact related to Mitchell, Jessen, the CIA , maybe some bombs and possibly a Prius or two.
A shitty homeland beer…laced with the dim-witted flavored water, that once flowed freely from the over logged hills above Centralia…is indeed directly related to anything I haven’t already mentioned.
It’s kind a sorta like Olympia without its beer factory.
Or America without its Posse Comitatus.
It’s Nirvana!
Aryans Don’t Kill People, Ricky Gervais Does
If you’re like me, you too missed out on watching the Golden Globes and instead…spent the last several days waiting for the Aryan Nations to condemn bombs and terrorism…
Well, the Aryans have indeed just condemned bombs and terrorism, especially any bombs or terrorism that may have occurred in Spokane, Washington. The Aryans also took a moment to condemn Ricky Gervais and his awful performance at the Golden Globes…“We may be racist Nazis who vote for Rand Paul….but those jokes about Scientology, Charlie Sheen and Robert Downey Jr. were just…disappointing to say the least.” “You know, there’s just no place in today’s society for the angry rhetoric that Mr. Gervais spewed forth the other night.”
I think I may be at a loss for words.
Somebody should have told me there’d be days like these.
Snooki the Better Judith Miller
It had to happen. Judith Miller would eventually be replaced on the New York Times best seller list…by an author who can fascinate and entertain us, without having to look at whatever it was Donald Rumsfeld kept in his pants.
Not following in Judy Miller’s footsteps, just makes good business sense for an upcoming author like Snooki. As far as we know, Snooki has not yet outed any undercover CIA agents. Snooki has also not been regurgitating “inside” information about the WMD’s that are located in Silverdale , Washington. Snooki has yet to meet with Scooter Libby, Cheney or Ahmad Chalabi.
Oprah’s book club for the poor disenfranchised peoples of the Homeland, gave Judy Millers book: “Germs“, seven Gayle farts out of ten. Here’s to Snooki getting at least an eight Gayle fart rating!
I’m fairly pessimistic, that Judy will be spending some quality time in a FEMA Camp with the entire Bush Regime, just as soon as Snooki decides to look into some of the lies of our Fathers…from the last 100 years or so.
In related Judith Miller-like news, Reagan was absolutely out of his mind when he asked Oliver North to betray his country…Saddam found out the hard way, that we lie about everything…and…your bailed out GM is creating more jobs in Mexico, because we Homelandian’s just aren’t able to grasp what the hell’s really going on.
Happy Friday peoples. Be Vigilant and read some Snooki.
