2010 the Year After 2009
Happy New Year!
May some of us enjoy good health and prosperity, coupled with the occasional dip into chocolate pools of splendor that ripple with waves of glorious freedom. May vacation opportunities abound for at least 13 percent of you..and may the rest of us be so lucky that we may reintroduce ourselves to government cheese and powdered milk.
I bid you all peace, love and…wha? What the fuck? Wall Street? Massive tax breaks and gihugic bonuses? There’s nothing wrong with Rush Limbaugh’s heart!??
Yeah…I take all that happy horse shit back. Screw your powdered milk and fake cheese! I’m taking what’s mine and, and…uhhhh. Ummm.
See y’all at the mall…and hey! Maybe we can hold hands, do a flash mob and share an organic/shade grown/child labor free taco
or something?
2009 Goes Out Broken Beaten & Scarred
Karma works in mysterious ways, and many humans are finding this out the hard way.
So goodbye 09′, bring on 010′ and do not waste your time on any resolutions…because Dick Clark, the genie of New Years wish giving, has been strapped to a chair and locked away in Ryan Seacrest’s short closet of hidden agendas.
Like the Constitution and Dick Clark in Seacrest’s closet…we may be broke, beaten and scarred…but we die hard.
See you next year.
Seahawks’ Whine One for the Gipper
Your Seattle Seahawks have a message for you, “you’re either with us or against us.”
George W, shriveled Dick and Tom Ridge could not have said it better.
Huzmandawhatshisname and little Neon Deion Branch, are so angry with their fair-weather fans, that they invoked a play right out of the Homeland playbook. “You’re either with us or against us.”
I think Hasselbeck calls that one quite often on liberal and 3rd down situations.
Perhaps if Hwhosmandawhatshisname and Branch, stopped breathing in the Matt Hasselbeck and Limbaugh flatulence of stupidity, they’d have an inkling of what whiny little children who make millions of dollars and do their jobs poorly…look like.
Deion even wants you fair-weather fans who have a problem with how he makes his millions doing his job poorly, to show up at the VMAC Athletic Center and say it to his face.
Perspective, is what your Seattle Seahawks whiny millionaires who do their jobs poorly, are in need of.
Perspective and humility.
A couple of seasons or five, playing football for free, you know, for the love of the game, might help them gain some perspective. A few tours in Iraq or Afghanistan and possibly Iran, Venezuela or Nigeria/Yemen…might help these children gain some humility.
Cleaning the restrooms at Qwest Field might help as well.
“Cleveland sounds fantastic!” I believe is what Coach VP Holmgren shouted from atop the Space Needle.
Now we know why.
DeMint is to DeUnion as DeNugent is to DeStupid
Hawkish Draft Dodger
Senator DeMint hates terrorists, unions and black presidents, this much we know.
Senator DeMint is holding up the appointment of Erroll Southers, President Obama’s choice to head up the TSA. Erroll is a former FBI Special Agent and counterterrorism expert. That’s several light years removed from your typical TSA gate agent or Border Patrol human.
Now we know even more about DeMint.
DeMint is holding up this appointment because he fears that this former FBI agent/counterterrorism expert, might just be down with TSA workers joining a union.
Now we know all about DeMint.
DeMint is from South Carolina. Boeing loves South Carolina because South Carolina hates unions. Governor Mark Sanford is the God-fearing, lying fornicator of South Carolina. He loves union free Boeing labor as well as South American women. Ted Nugent is not from South Carolina. Though he could pass for one. Ted does enjoy lying, draft dodging, South American women, Representative Joe Wilson, freedom for free, as well as union free labor.
Ted also hates the black president.
Now we know way too much about DeMint, DeNugent and
South Carolina.
Do you know where your 8 hour work day comes from? How about that 40 hour work week? Breaks? Vacations? Overtime pay? Holidays? Minimum wage, safe working environments, raises, health/retirement benefits, and child labor laws?
They sure as hell did not come from today’s Boeing, a DeMint or
a DeNugent.
You know what they say, nothing could be finer than union free labor, DeLies and DeStupid…in DeCarolinas.
Homeland Enhancement
If you think like a frightened political operative, then you’d probably resemble Mary Matalin. Mary, Dick, Dana Perino and Dicks Liz, are all doing their best to enhance the Bush legacy, which as rumor has it…is lacking in length, width and substance.
Fortunately, you can’t enhance what God gave Bush with stupid, made up fantasies. Bush did not inherit 9/11. Bush did however inherit the intellect of a 14-year-old, paint chip eating, lead poisoned child.
Speaks volumes about those of you who voted for this brain-damaged child. Twice.
Four times if you hail from Florida.
Anyone who has spent more than 35 seconds away from cable teevee news, knows, that the entire Bush Administration and it’s FBI, ignored reports of Osama disciples training at flight schools in Arizona and Minnesota.
In using the former Bush Doctrine as my guide, (now known as the Obama Doctrine for those of you playing along in Wasilla, Mrs. Palin) we should have been bombing Arizona and Minnesota for about a decade now. Then, as “things” progressed, we would install corrupt government officials to run the new territories.
I think Sheriff Arpaio would have made an excellent corrupt official of Arizonnesotastan.
Which of course brings us to poor Director of the Homeland, Janet Napolitano. She is taking heat for the failures of her Orwellian agency of mismanaged, underpaid burger flippers, who are our front line of protection against the evil doers and other humans that just want a quick bite to eat.
What the fuck could go wrong?
“We” did not listen to FBI agents in the field, “we” did not listen to Richard Clarke, while Bush and his babysitters failed to retain these words when they read “Bin Laden Determined to Strike in U.S.,” “possibly with airliners and such.”
You’re patriotism laced, Vigilant Lens hint for Monday is as follows. Want a safer, enhanced Homeland? Better schools, jobs and free porn? Try asking your K Street owned Congresshuman to put an end to the pretend wars on children in mud huts. Arrest everyone in the Bush Administration along with Norm Dicks and then maybe, just maybe, we can go back to killing our fellow Homelandian’s here in the Homeland and call it good.
Bush League Logic
Connect the dots America!
Senator Joe Lieberman says that we should preemptively strike Yemen via a new war on Iraq while simultaneously attacking Iran, Syria, Afpakistan, North Korea, Cuba, Mexico, Venezuela and Oregon…because the attempted bomber of the Detroit bound aircraft is from Nigeria.
The biggest surprise so far? Healthscare is all but forgotten and Joe has yet to mention 9/11 or mushroom clouds.
Look for enhanced Patriot Acts and walls going up around Detroit, followed by decades of never-ending wars on dirt poor nations and humans who lack running water or TV’s. This way, our newest enemies will be really thirsty and unable to watch themselves being invaded on CNN.
I guess this Lieberman plan beats the shit out of attacking China.
WTF is wrong with you Connecticut?
Baked Skiing is a Gateway Sport
Breckenridge, Colorado…the war on drugs has been lost here. Starting New Years Day, there will no longer be any penalties for lighting up in Breckenridge. Keep it under an ounce, and you will no longer face a decade in a Supermax prison for partaking in getting mellow.
Imagine if you will, the dollars to stoner to incarceration ratio that has been lost. This does not bode well for the CIA, the DEA or our private prison industry. These are scary times for those that fear green plants.
Today Breckenridge, tomorrow Juarez!
Next month, the war on opium faces the unwanted light of day …which again, is very bad news for the CIA, the DEA and your Pentagon.
