Violent Librulz!
Don't drop the soap Tom...
Crafty bastards that those violent liburulzz is, it’s no wonder we find ourselves in global wars against Islam, Marijuana and the
deadly thermos?
You patriots should blame Obama, because he’s as liberal as W was able to pronounce neewkular and marijuana is at least as illegal as Palin’s threats of terror against the conservative Obama.
Most of the violent liberals I know, tend to shop at Costco and vacation in Cabo.
I’ve even heard ugly rumors that a few violent Prius driving liberals, somehow managed to get passed the 9th grade…went on to college, voted for every conservative Democrat offered up…had unprotected sex in college…married her, or him and went on to have a family and a successful engineering career at Lockheed Martin.
Now you know why we’re as fucked up as we are. It’s the blissfully unaware engineers at Lockheed Martin.
Confused? Don’t be. I just became the newest champion of the teabanging elite. Man are they gonna be pissed.
And lost.
Some good news on the war against the Homelands ruling class…Tom Delay just found himself sentenced to 3 years in “prison” and 10 years probation, for doing what most good Republican Congressman do when faced with a moral decision…Cheat, lie, steal and launder money for freedom.
With good behavior, Tom could be out just in time to reload with
Palin in 2012.
Try Changing the Homeland First
If the remaining sane peoples of the Homeland keep waiting for some sort of pretend, John Mayer-like change in the world…we’ll just elect another politician, go home, eat some bio engineered “food”, then invade some other nation filled with brown-skinned humans.
Don’t Retreat, Reload.
Being that President Obama is the better Bush…Arizona is armed while stupid and not one of Janet Napolitano’s terrorist finding x-ray machines, or her crotch grabbing for freedom…has yet to protect us from any real terror creators like Sarah Palin, Karl Rove or Jared Lee Loughner.
And they never will.
Don’t Retreat, Reload.
Well, that Detroit Muslim would not be sitting in Wasilla, desperately trying to scrub her Tweets and Facebook pages…
Our glorious FBI keeps busy with many things. Between spying on anti-war protesters and kicking down their front doors, there’s barely any time left to spy on Sarah Palin, Karl Rove or John Yoo, let alone any paranoid Arizona Teabangers.
Don’t Retreat, Reload.
Cops are killing and cops are being killed. Kids are going hungry and being sent to schools where learning to duck flying bullets, comes before learning that Columbus was just a jihadist.
Shots are fired here, there and everywhere. We’re at war with Norm Dicks’ Afghan Mujahideen, because Saudi Arabia hates us…but they sure loves them some of our tanks, jets and sex.
Don’t Retreat, Reload.
President Obama could have done the right thing. Pelosi could have done the right thing. Any number of Republicans or God forbid a DEMOCRAT…could have done the right thing.
They didn’t.
We won’t ever have peace, we won’t ever all just get along, until someone arrests George W Bush, Dick Cheney, Yoo, Rove and Rice.
Don’t Retreat, Reload.
It’s the wars stupid. They dirty us all.
Sarah Don’t Retreat, Reload Palin. The poster idiot for the Homeland and what we stand for.
Try changing the Homeland first, then maybe the world will follow.
Don’t Retreat, Reload…by Sarah Palin
Before we get to the attack on Rep. Giffords that Sarah, Beck, Ted Nugent and Limbaugh have been waiting for…I thought that this would be the perfect opportunity to put today’s Seahawks win in perspective.
A field full of opposing millionaires, who play for billionaires, played a great game of football…and Rep. Gabrielle Giffords did say on 25Mar10, “Sarah Palin … has the crosshairs of a gun sight over our district and when people do that, they’ve gotta realize there are consequences to that action.” 
Ted Nugent also has plenty to say. I was in Chicago, I said, ‘Hey Obama, you might wanna suck on one of these you punk.’ … Obama, he’s a piece of shit, I told him to suck on my machine gun. Lets hear it! [crowd cheers] I was in New York, I said, ‘Hey Hillary, you might want to ride one of these into the sunset, you worthless bitch.’ … She might want to suck on my machine gun.
Sarah Palin says “Don’t Retreat, Reload.”
President Obama has sent FBI Director Mueller to Arizona.
“Don’t Retreat, Reload.”
Why not send Director Mueller to Alaska?
“Don’t Retreat, Reload.”
Why not send Director Mueller after draft dodger Ted Nugent?
“Don’t Retreat, Reload.”
Perhaps Director Mueller could visit Glenn Beck, Limbaugh and Malkin?
“Don’t Retreat, Reload.”
Perhaps Director Mueller should visit the Pentagon, the CIA, the NSA and his own organization? Maybe Wall Street, K Street and George W Bush’s street? Throw in Guantanamo, Abu Ghraib and the mess that is Joint Base Lewis-McChord…and you’ve barely even scratched the surface of violent, brain-dead America.
“Don’t Retreat, Reload.”
Go Seahawks!
FM Radio Deja Vu
It had to happen again. I was driving while my radio played Alice in Chains’ Man in the Box, for what seemed like the 23rd time that day…only to be followed up by Alice in Chains’ Rooster, for what also seemed like the 23rd time.
It was like groundhog day in Seattle, circa 1991. Or 1993.
It had to happen again. I was driving while my radio played Alice in Chains’ Man in the Box, for what seemed like the 23rd time that day…only to be followed up by Alice in Chains’ Rooster, for what also seemed like the 23rd time.
It was like groundhog day in Seattle, circa 1991. Or 1993.
See how it feels? That’s FM Radio deja vu baby!
I guess the obvious solution would be an iPod, or Howard Stern’s satellite radio empire in space…because driving without music is the work of the Boehner…and I’m just not down with John’s Boehner.
Occasionally, when I’m really lucky, FM radio deja vu will take me back to the good ol days of suffering in submissive silence. We the peoples did not have the internets, we had beer, rock n’ roll and loose women in cutoff shorts.
Turns out, the loose women grew up to be Sarah Palin, the shitty beer is foreign owned and our liberal President is punishing us for his never having partied with we the submissive Palin bangers, back in the day.
So maybe FM radio deja vu isn’t all that bad? Driving while blind was never cool, but we did it. Drinking with a “Palin” was never cool either, but we did it anyway. So maybe I should just enjoy the deja vu and shut the hell up?
Like Portland fearing the arrival of Ricker…everything works out
in the end.
Back to the politics and such, asap. Be Vigilant!
Murder by JPMorgan Daley
About 1142 of us in the Homeland are keenly aware…that Obama is about as liberal as Laura Bush is a good drunk driver.
As with many former presidents of the Homeland, President Obama is killing us slowly via attrition by Wall Street, global wars, a lack of decent, affordable health care and fields full of natural healthy goodness…brought to us by Monsanto.
If I’m lying…then President Obama will most certainly not select William Daley of Chicago and JP Morgan Chase crime family fame—as his new chief of staff.
Hey whad’ Ya know, looks like I’m not a liar after all!
Welcome aboard the continuing gravy train Mr. Daley. The financial crowd that gained their wealth and power on the backs and mortgages of the middle/working classes of the Homeland…are ecstatic.
Perhaps William will break out Al Gore’s dusty lockbox and finish us off, by locking away any remaining chances that any of us, ever had of retiring from our minimum wage, benefits free careers at
Taco del Walmart.
For a really super important take on this Obama appointment, that proves once and for all, the president’s departure from all things wholesome, conservative and American…I give you Chamber of Commerce President Tom Donohue and his immediate reaction. “Fuck yes!!“…more or less.
For the rest of us, there’s a new surge coming in Vietafghanistan, because we’re not the Soviets.
Thank you Mr. President, for being a much better Reagan…in the form of a better Clinton, minus the oral sex.
“A cynical manipulation of a large number of people…it does happen.” It’s like Sting was some kind of genius! Or a mind reading soothsayer.
A witch?
New Dick Same as the Old One
John’s Boehner is the new dick in charge.
John is the new Speaker, but he does not speak for you.
John will weep, but he will not weep for you.
Today, Pelosi did drone on about life, liberty and how pleased she was with herself for having kept Bush out of prison. 
And John did weep.
Nancy then handed the hammer of spineless inaction over to John.
And John did weep.
In between the sobs of the Boehner, Nancy did remind John of their commonality—which binds them together—complicit forever.
Wait for the worms. They’ll come. They always do.
WikiLeaks is Media
WikiLeaks is media…because the media is dead.
The media is dead…because it’s the fourth branch of your government.
Our government does not listen to any of us. Be you Teabanger, liberal, conservative, independent or Richard Clarke…we are the enemy.
Or we’re food. Have you seen Food Inc? I’m certain that the pink meat-like paste, soaked in ammonia for our protection, contains a fair amount of Soylent Green. It would explain many things…
WikiLeaks is media, because the fourth estate is to Obama, as Obama is to Bush, as Bush was to your momma.
WikiLeaks is media, because what we spend on defense, is far disproportionate to what we spend on books, schools, clean water and safe food.
Not happy with your local budget woes or your Governor of the Democratic persuasion? Too Goddamn bad. Thank K street. Thank those affordable wars. Thank the media. 
The wars are not being lost by E-2’s, E-4’s and E-6’s. They’re being lost by the private corporations like Blackwater, Boeing and the CIA.
Some of us are fighting back. Veterans for Peace…I’ve taken them to task for parading around the block with their fancy, correctly spelled signs. It’s no WTO, but it’s something. And it’s frightening the agencies that fear us.
The keepers of the Homeland, be it CIA2, Booze Allen Hamilton or Janet Napolitano…all fear the light of day. They fear the internets, they fear real media and they fear that a few of us, might just say enough.
If we had a media keeping the government in check, there would be no WikiLeaks. If Julian Assange was attempting to tell the world of the crimes committed by the military regimes in Iran or China, instead of the Homeland that was America…well, I think instead of hunting him, Hillary would be buying Julian a lovely handbag from the Real Monica!
So the next time you bite into your burger of freedom, keep your fingers crossed that you’re not enjoying your long-lost cousin…keep your spirits high and keep your head down, because there are dead birds falling from the sky.
Stay tuned to your local and national news at 5:00, 6:00 and 11:00 for more of the same.
