Check and Mate
President Obama, ever the deep thinking capitulator for Boeing that he is…has kept the liberal elites busily guessing which Bush era policy he might adopt and strengthen next.
The president has also kept the liberal Teabanger elites busy with important things like birth certificates, gifts to big pharma disguised as health care and of course…the color of his skin.
Chicago Change
I could drone on and on about the economy ending BushBama wars… just like a houseful of brown-skinned Afghan kids— just before they’re blown up by a 22 year old in Vegas…but I don’t want to bother your beautiful minds with such things.
Perhaps the kids over at Democratic Underground were right! The president has been playing a brilliant game of chess all along…and he’s only just begun! The jobs and wealth created by Obama’s wars against the brown-skinned, will eventually trickle down to us just before the rapture.
So if the president hires William Daley of JP Morgan Chase and other Chicago crime fame…you should just say thank you and shut the fuck up.
Happy Tuesday you liberal Teabanging elites of the Homeland! And keep in mind, it wasn’t Ralph Nader’s lock box that sunk Gore in 2000…it was yours.
Mediocrity for the Win!
If life was like a box of chocolates, the Homeland would be far less predictable. A little more Gump would be nice.
Homeland mediocrity is like a box of chocolate covered caramel. Most of us would tire quickly of this mediocre box of sameness, while a small percentage of us would thrive. It’s those who thrive on the chocolate covered sameness, that should concern the rest of us.
Judith Miller is a stenographer for the mediocre caramel lovers. The mediocre caramel lovers run the show and Judith regurgitates the same old chocolate covered caramel to us, as if it were surprisingly different. Or accurate.
Judith passed along the box of chocolate covered sameness that was the Bush WMDees. Now Judith tells us that Julian Assange is a bad journalist, because boxes full of different and exciting chocolate covered wonders of truthiness…does not a happy empire make.
Mediocrity can lead to stenographers like Judith Miller. Mediocrity can also lead to the Seattle Seahawks, your NFC West champions!!
If life were like a Gump box of chocolates, perhaps Saddam would have gotten the peaceful solution he sought, instead of the “Judith Miller-like” Kuwaiti incubator babies he got.
Mediocrity…it tends to make ones head creep.
Vodpod videos no longer available.
Happy New War!
V for Teevee
It’s 2011. Do you know where your habeas corpus went?
Are you able to pronounce habeas corpus?
Wars that never end allow liberals to watch more PBS.
Wars that never end allow conservatives to blame decades of failed conservative policies on Jimmy Carter.
Sometimes you feel like a nut. Sometimes you don’t.
Mission Accomplished—Bring em On!—No New Taxes—I did not have sexual relations with that Woman—Bin Laden Determined to Strike…two tall buildings in NY…with jets…ssshhhh—I Don’t Do Quagmires—As President, I will close Guantanamo—Almond Joys got nuts Mounds don’t.
Janet Napolitano is in Afghanistan. Janet is there to watch the magic happen, as Homeland Security goes about training the locals to secure their borders and combat drug and weapons smuggling…
Unfortunately for the peoples of Afghanistan…not only are Customs and Border Patrol agents not very good at their jobs, but evidently…we think of Afghanistan as part of the Homeland.
It almost goes without saying…having the Border Patrol in Afghanistan makes about as much sense as Billy Squier having listened to his agent, when he said, “just go with it Billy.”
The Good War No More
Grow a Pair
The good war is no more. Say it with me! The good war…is no more!
Amen.
63 percent of the humans polled in a new CNN poll say no more! The good Afghanistan war is good…no more!
Good wars are only fought by those who don’t have to fight them.
Bad wars end when those who started the good wars…pay for
their crimes.
The good war is no more! Say it with me…the good war is no more!
Now we wait. I give it another 12 years or so.
Amen.
Useful Shopping Idiots
A Conservative Democrat
The Homeland continues its glorious slide into a beautiful
Romanist oblivion.
And the useful idiots did argue.
As the useful idiots argue, point fingers and call for the torture and death of each other…the Republicans and their less useful inbred cousins, the Democrats, continue the sell off of our once great experiment to the highest bidders.
Our great experiment of freedom and wholesomeness, was founded upon enslavement and genocide. So it comes as no surprise to anyone but us…that a people would resist being invaded, occupied and droned to death for Boeing, while the survivors are then required to work for Walmart and shop at Starbucks.
Ungrateful servants all.
Unappreciative Child Worker
As the useful idiots scream and yell about yet a different group of brown-skinned humans we’ve enslaved, Bank of America was busy “helping” both sides of the screaming idiot divide, by taking our billions and foreclosing on our McMansions.
The useful idiots clamber for a new leader, argue about the current ones and blame the liberal-conservative agendas of the other.
Patty Murray and Norm Dicks are as culpable as George W Bush and Henry Kissinger. Barack Obama might as well be Dino Rossi.
We broken and beaten citizens of the Homeland are being bled dry, fondled, irradiated and spied upon by the very same party leaders we argue for.
And still we shop.
We the spied upon, spent a record $31 billion dollars this Christmas shopping season. We did it for Jesus, and we didn’t even leave the house!
But still we failed. For we the “Assanged,” did not shop enough due to some snow. It’s never quite enough…and that’s what she said.
The dollars spent by Patty Murray, Norm Dicks and Dave Reichert for the wars against us and the rest of the world…spend well. The dollars not spent for education, health care, roads and a library or 1200…goes just as planned.
And still we shop till we drop.
Now if you’ll excuse me…I’ve got some shopping to do. There’s gas to buy, Wii’s to try and about 300 dollars worth of condoms, books and stuff, all waiting for me at my guilt free Costco.
Boo!
Extinction is So Overrated
Water is good for the Genetically Modified foods we force upon the world for Monsanto. Water tastes good when it takes on the form of an ice cube. If a tasty ice cube finds itself sitting in a glass of Trader Joe’s Scotch, that was meticulously aged in a plastic bucket for about 6 hours…well, all the better.
Water is also good for Hanford, as it rushes much of our cold war inconveniences—downriver to Portland and their Pearl District liberals.
The water that flows through the Duwamish, is about as good for you as voting for anything that Tim Eyman gets paid for. So it makes perfect Homeland sense, that the Duwamish Tribe of humans should still be fighting to prove that they are in fact—not extinct.
You know, I’m no Newkleeur Fisicist, but I do know what water is supposed to smell like and Boeing’s Duwamish, smells a lot like Vietghanistan.
Water…We need it, we shit in it, we piss in it and we will soon be fighting Arizona for it. Thank God for Bangor, eh?
Blatantly Obvious Tuesday
It’s blatantly obvious Tuesday. Do you know where your thermos is?
Do you know your state’s human cost, or its financial burden in the wars against the rest of the world?
Do not blame the trillions spent for wars, or the trillions spent for Wall Street or the tax breaks for billionaires for your troubles. Blame a liberal, blame a conservative, then just blame your dad.
It’s easier this way.
The wars are free—obviously it’s blatantly obvious Tuesday.
Let’s jump in, before someone refers to me as blatantly obvious.
Obviously…
- Kevin Poulsen of Wired fame, was waiting for a mature response to their brand of Journalism. Fuck you and the Twitter you rode in on—Kevin.
- If the wars against al Qaeda were real, we would have invaded Saudi Arabia and been done by now.
- If the wars against drugs were real, the DEA would not be a global intelligence agency and we’d be burning the tobacco fields in North Carolina, instead of clearing Colombia of its indigenous.
- Michael Vick and his dog fighting empire, cause the exact type of reaction—every revolted human of the Homeland should be having about the BushBama wars, torture, ethnic cleansing, Wall Street…any Palin or Vietafpakiyemistan.
- Generals who for the last ten years or so, have been fighting the losing war on Islam—are getting great “jobs” in the Defense Industry that pay fantabulously—for their having failed miserably. Should the MIC not be hiring E-6’s and below instead?
- Your glorious Department of Homeland Security is just another layer of lies, piled on top of your Bill of Rights. The more layers of lies between you and your Bill of Rights, the more money there is to be made on our collective detachment from reality. TSA comes to mind—think thermoses, your kids crotches being grabbed and the money made by the scanner industry—for the scanners don’t really work and your baggage handler has more access to your plane than your pilot.
- Remember your car and it’s penchant for consuming gas? Look for the price per gallon to start conflicting even more so with your ability to buy food, beer, marijuana, clothes for your kids and cable teevee. Screw college—that ship sailed during the USS Bush.
It’s all so blatantly obvious, no? Enjoy the links, buy Chinese American and eat less sugar…you’ll feel less hosed. Or not.
