Church Committee of the Damned
If a pretend Church Committee were to look into the last ten years or so of your governments crimes, Andrew Breitbart would probably derail it by releasing a photo of J Edgar Hoover’s penis.
And there we have today’s Homeland in a ‘nutshell’.
Janet Napolitano wants to remind you to ‘be Vigilant‘ and if perchance you see something, why not say something? I know that DHS are regular readers of the Lens, which explains why they haven’t done anything about Karl Rove or Erik Prince.
It also explains why the U.S. Department of Education ‘is are’ using Education Remittance SWAT teams to break down the doors of student loan defaulters.
Why does this happen in the land of the Patriot Acted? Because we allow it…aaaannndddd our mothers do indeed dress us funny.
Homeland paranoia is a gateway drug. This drug can lead to harder drugs and crime like the U.S. Department of Education’s SWAT Teams, who educate us about why Robert Mueller should never leave the FBI. This then leads to Mueller’s boys digging through our trash, reading our emails and watching us Farmland our lives away on Facebook…until some smart people finally realize that Monsanto’s Roundup, is as good for us as the liberal agenda of never-ending profit wars, where no draft is needed.
Be Vigilant! Homelandian’s and as always: If you see some PCB/Mercury laden fish, swimming in a river near a uranium mine…don’t be alarmed! Andrew Breitbart will be along shortly to show you a photo of a penis.
A great mind once said : DDT did a job on me — now I’m a real sickie — guess I’ll have to break the news, that I got no brain to lose…
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Weiner Dicks of the Morality Police
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Our morality is about as firm as Sarah Palin’s grasp of what Levi might have been doing with his johnson.
What if we paid as much attention to the criminals in Congress, the Pentagon and the CIA, as we do to the various penis controversies of the penis hunting Andrew Breitbart? Well, maybe we’d have more time to worry about Fukushima and all those well designed GE reactors of the Homeland, that are patiently waiting to kill us with their clean energy.
You know, when I think about clean energy, I usually think about Levi Johnston and Sarah’s lack of attention on ‘Levi’s johnson.’
If Palin had been more concerned about Bristol and what Levi’s johnson had been doing, maybe she’d still just be a corrupt mayor.
Perhaps if we were as concerned with corrupt mayors as we are with Breitbart’s johnson’s, maybe then we’d be able to decipher the warning signs on the corporate owned highway of servitude. 
Speaking of corporate owned warning signs, let’s follow the lead of the “very liberal” Nancy Pelosi.
Warning Curveball Ahead. Nancy say’s: torture, murder and illegal wars for profit? Sure! Anthony Weiner’s morality-free wiener? Investigate and prosecute it! Because nothing says high crimes and misdemeanors better than Anthony Weiner’s dick.
I’m also hopeful that Rep. Conyers is right now, as we dwell, considering bringing articles of impeachment against Weiner’s wiener. And if Norm Dicks and John’s Boehner can somehow insert themselves into the proceedings…my blog post titles would be forever grateful!!
But alas, this is the Homeland. This is the Homeland where George W’s tax cuts for billionaires, were just a prelude to the corporate hand-jobs by Obama. There are the world wars we wage for Bechtel, Jesus and CH2M Hill. There’s the pretend wars on drugs and the very real wars on Mexico, education and employment. And coming soon to your teevee…a whole new round of yellow cake, portable WMD trucks and other pretend intelligence, that when spelled out backwards by Glenn Beck, translates to we’ve been Patriot Acted again.
Lather, rinse, repeat and profit. Profit, repeat, lather and rinse.
The morality police and Lockheed Martin thank you for your
distracted support.
Once Firm Dicks to Soften on Pulling Out
Port Angeles, Washington is ground zero for the war on terror. Just ask anyone who speaks Spanish.
But do not, I repeat DO NOT ask anyone who speaks Pashto.
Within the Constitution Free Zone of the Olympic Peninsula, schools are closing, healthcare is rare and the only jobs left to be had are picking Salal for the floral industry, or becoming a Border Patrol Agent…because the angry Teabaggers against Obamacare just won’t pick the Salal.
Like a well written Michele Bachmann campaign speech to Sarah Palin’s brain stem…all of this leads us to Rep. Norm Dicks and the Peninsula Daily News headline from Sunday: “Rep. Dicks Reportedly Calls for Faster Withdrawal from Afghanistan.”
It’s within that article of phallic freedom, that we can read Norm say things like: “war fatigue“, “I’m having a hard time finding one” and “incredible cuts” to “nation building in Afghanistan” and yet another “I’m having a hard time.”
How Norm was able to refrain from saying the words, “Boeing“, “Tanker Contract” or “the Democrats wars on Islam are for my employer whose name rhymes with Boeing“…showed incredible, Democrat-like courage. 
Norm does not mention in his pretend softened stance on Obama’s 10-year-old Bush wars, that he was for the Patriot Act, the torture, as well as all of the profit wars…before, during and after Obama became the
better Bush.
Norm also does not mention his involvement in creating Osama bin Laden, the Afghan Mujhahideen turned Talibanqaeda, or even his disdain for those who keep voting for him.
In fact, Norm fails to mention much of anything, that would help us figure out just what in the hell the difference is between Norm and the taller dick — John Boehner. Evidently, the size of the dick in question…is pretty much the only difference.
You can pull out early and perhaps soften your once firm stance. You can even pretend that Obama is a liberal, but one just cannot put a price on Pashto lessons, Boeing’s influence over Norm…or even the Peninsula Daily News’ use of the words ‘Dicks and ‘faster withdrawal‘ in the same headline.
It’s Monday and like the Border Patrol, Norm still can’t tell a Salal picking human from a Prius driving food co-op member…because Indian Island’s white phosphorus kills the rock throwing children of the world, much faster than say, educating and or affordable dental care for we the
Patriot Acted.
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ABCD, EFZ
This just in, school funding is are for librul eleats and teh awristoeKratz’s.
If you’ve ever wondered why Idaho, Oregon and Tenino, Washington were filled with so many smart people…you probably really enjoyed those 3 and a half years spent in 6th grade.
I know I did!!
Now, I may not know spit about math, litrutchure liturichur litwricher books with words in em’ and such…but I do know that Iraq flew those planes on 9/11 and we’re going to make sure that Afghanistan, Pakistan, Yemen, Iran, Mexico and Ohio pay for it too.
Sarah Palin once said that education is the cornerstone of a well-balanced tracheotomy.
And this is why she will be President.
Like the illegal war in Libya— our wars on education, healthcare, jobs and common sense, go really swell. Vietghanistan 10 years later, shows no sign of ending and what about those misplaced CIA WMD’s in Iraq? Who knows and why should we care?
2 + 2 = trillions of dollars more in the hunt for a new Bin Laden, multiplied by the amount of money spent for Homeland Security…which is then divided by the amount spent on school kids in Oregon, Idaho and Washington.
Add in the dollars needed for Wall Street and the enforcement of we the Patriot Acted…and voila! We’re right back at Sarah Palin’s back door, which is being guarded by Idaho’s Butch Otter, which makes Todd very angry.
Of course none of this pencils out, but I’m with Sarah…Paul Revere tried to save our guns from the British Chinese liberals.
*edited hours later*, as even I couldn’t figure out what I was rambling on about. Lack of sleep and words on pretend pages, don’t always work out. Just ask Todd Palin and myself…
Happy weekend!
Vodpod videos no longer available.Sting, Bono and Chuck D Tried
I remember not getting what the hell Public Enemy, the Police or U2 were trying to tell me…
Unfortunately, Garth Brooks, Bocephus and Charlie Daniels were also trying to tell the rest of us something too…
In looking around, I think we know who won.
I’m shooting all this week and then some, so things may be a bit quiet around here.
Be Vigilant and re-kill your teevee.
Vodpod videos no longer available.Dancing in the Shadows of Freedom
As another Memorial Day comes to a close, I want to thank the men and women I served with, my friends with VFP, IVAW and the many Vietnam era vets whom I’ve met in the last six years or so…because you’re still here to thank.
Sometimes we disagree on how to get to where we’re going, but I’d rather get to where we’re going…with those of you who’ve ‘been there done that,’ than those who still send us to die for the same old lie.
A heart felt fuck you to Obama, any Bush, Clinton and the corporate puppets before them.
My apologies to you Tenzing for interrupting your poetry…these are indeed hard days to bear.
the shadows
tombstones make
Memorial Day
Back at it soon. Be Vigilant and let’s hope that Kevin Bacon can somehow save us from this Footloose Homeland, where dancing will get you arrested and telling the truth gets you Patriot Acted.
WWBBWD?
WWBBWD? Or as they say at the C Street SW, Holiday Inn in DC: ‘What Would Breitbart’s Boehner Weiner Do?’
I’m not sure I really want to hazard a guess about what it is Breitbart’s Boehner Weiner might actually do…but I bet it would involve yet more penis, along with video, mayonnaise and Senator David Vitter.
If you really want to tie all of this together, try going here first.
As if the endless wars on the world along with marijuana, education, employment and the scary anarchists weren’t enough to keep you watching Dr. Oz and his gentle reminders that yes, we’re as stupid as Dr. Phil says we are…well then maybe Andrew Breitbart and his love of the penis will distract you long enough to vote for Obama. Again. Because you’re still mad at Ralph Nader and the killing of 12 Afghan children and two women by NATO…doesn’t piss us off as much as 4 way intersections with stop signs.
Fuck those stop signs and their Godless rules of Socialist Fascism that can only lead to liberal Marxist Anarchy by ACORN!!
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The Vigilant Lens 