Fathers and Dads
Some dads are good dads. Some even try their best and some should have just kept ‘it’ in their pants.
The world is full of dads who are unprepared to be dads…let alone our fathers, our teachers, or our friends.
My dad was probably a bit like the dads of Obama, Bush and Erik Prince. Our dads could show up late, fornicate and procreate, but they were incapable of being our fathers, our teachers, or our friends.
My dad was a God-fearing rapist. He beat my mother for her cooking. He beat her for being 17. He beat her for being with him and he beat her for having me. And then he married her…and beat her again.
My dad was my dad, but he was not my father and he was never
my friend.
Dad gave me the gift of anger.
My dad, he was never my father and he was never a friend.
But my dad, he did teach me…to be nothing like him.
I truly believe that the world could be a far better place, if its dad’s knew how to be fathers, teachers and friends.
Vodpod videos no longer available.
Deepak Chopra Jumps the Moose
If you and I are having a single thought of violence or hatred against anyone in the world at this moment, we are contributing to the wounding of the world. – Deepak Chopra
You know the Homeland is in danger of an irreversible and life ending turn towards the Palinfoolery…when Deepak Chopra calls you a
fucking moron.
Go here, read more and keep an eye on your Ayurvedic Chakra, as Deepak skips the shark and instead…jumps the moose.
I remember being forced to read some of Deepak’s books, back when I was still trying to find life’s answers. They left me wanting fewer materialistic things and waaayyy more alcohol.
Obviously I was drunk, as the answers my friends, are indeed still at the bottom of a cheap glass of bourbon.
You might not like those bourbon soaked answers, but once we as a species start mentioning Deepak Chopra or any goddamn Palin, together, in the same blog post, or space and time continuum…I’m pretty sure that bourbon might be all we have left.
Cheers! and enjoy a drunken Palin bedtime story. I know Bristol and Willow still do.
Vodpod videos no longer available.
Weiner Democracy
It’s a beautiful day in the Homeland. The CIA is droning children to death in Yemen, Pakistan, Vietghanistan and Mexico. The FBI is playing Farmland with you on Facebook and Obama’s Rumsfeldesque Libya for oil is still going strong, because John Yoo says any president can do whatever the fuck it is Boeing tells him to.
Homeland Security will not protect you from Fukushima, because they’re just not that into you or your laws.
The DEA makes sure that Mexico has plenty of our weapons, because illegal oatmeal doesn’t make enough money. 
We create enemies faster than Lockheed Martin can kill them. This is why the Koch brothers invented Erik Prince and internet porn, so that some day, Erik can take it all away.
There are plenty of jobs at McDonald’s, Raytheon and the TSA.
The Democrats could be liberal war stoppers and righteous education protectors…any time they feel like it. But they’re really not that into you…or your laws.
Some day when the internets are gone, our history books will be printed on the plastic remains of Kindles and iPhones. And it’s on those plastic remnants of our history, where our angry decedents will learn…that while the world burned, Anthony Weiner’s dick cast a bigger shadow on the Homeland, than anything Nixon ever got away with.
There’ll be no shelter here.
Be a tad bit more Vigilant.
Vodpod videos no longer available.
Armed While Buckeyed
So Muammar al-Gaddafi and Ayman al-Zawahiri walk into a bar in Ohio…and partied like it was 2002. And that’s pretty much it.
How could this have happened? Why would Ohio let the Homeland down so horrifically?
Difficult questions sometimes require over simplified answers. In this case, Indiana and Pennsylvania should blame the passage of Ohio’s ‘guns in bars bill’…on Chris Collinsworth.
Don’t blame the Ohio State Legislature and Governor John Kasich. They’re only doing what the NRA and the voices in their heads tell
them to.
Kentucky, Michigan and West Virgina? Perhaps you should blame
Drew Carey?
Vodpod videos no longer available.
Little Beirut and the Death Boehner Apples
Little Beirut may yet survive the selling of Stumptown Coffee, I just hope they rebuild quicker than the Blazers did when Clyde left.
And right on cue, as if by magic and or magic mushrooms…Portland Indy Media has told us that something may be stirring in good ol’ PDX Town. The good news is, it appears that marching in parades with correctly spelled signs of pretend protest, while ensuring all parade permits have been applied for/received…may not be on the agenda!
The bad news is, the Green Party and MoveOn.org read Portland Indy Media too.
Don’t forget PDX Uprising…beware of really excited “activists”, pushing you to blow up stuff anywhere near Pioneer Courthouse Square. Contact Mohamed Mohamud and or Carla Axtman at Blue Oregon for more…
Free Take One!
I don’t know about Little Beirut, but when I think about BlueOregon.com and the progressive Democrats who were against the Bush wars, before they weren’t against the Obama wars…I tend to think about John Boehner and poisoned apples.
So I guess the Boehner has implied that Obama has some ‘splainin’ to do over Libya? But not Iraq, Vietghanistan, Yemen, Mexico the FBI, our pretend Constitution and how it is that Karl Rove and Bush are still free to walk amongst us?
Circle the A and call me a reformed Big Mac eater…but I think ol Johnny and his Boehner, may not want to be poking around in Obama’s ‘box’ of war crimes…without wearing some sort of protection.
Remember Portland, don’t eat any Washington apples or swim in the Columbia River…for the apples have been soaking in pesticides and were grown with the frightening waters of Hanford, while everything else has been breathing in GE’s winds of Fukushima.
So um, well, fuck it. Nevermind!
Be a tad bit more Vigilant.
Vodpod videos no longer available.
There’s No Tellin’ Where the Money Went
She’s a craze you’d endorse, she’s a powerful force
You’re obliged to conform when there’s no other course
She used to look good to me, but now I find her…
Simply unavoidable?
I woke up in a cold sweat this morning…having dreamt about Hillary. We know what Hillary’s village can do to Islam children and their closely related, any other brown-skinned children of the world…so you know, thank goodness team Obama won.
On the bright side, I’m also not a Monica Lewinsky handbag, or Anthony Weiner’s peener, or a soon to be target of Hillary’s mercenary army
in Iraq.
Praise be and if you’ve seen Weiner’s peener, or the trillions of dollars Obama, Bush and Hillary have blown, email Janet Napolitano because she’d want to know.
Vodpod videos no longer available.
Beer Terrorists
As the multiple wars on terror, school kids and Mexico drone on…Anheuser-Busch InBev, red meat and the Department of Energy have killed more of us, than any dead Iraqi-AfPakiYemenstan child never dreamed.
Toss in fake sugar, clean coal, Monsanto, your car, GE and Celine Dion, well, let’s just say that the CIA’s al Qaeda seem almost…‘distracting’ by comparison.
Let me tell you we were flying while blind…
Vodpod videos no longer available.
The Vigilant Lens 