Search Engines Find Stuff
Every so often the Lens will check where it’s readers hail from. I’m huge in Virginia, Kabul and anywhere Michael Hayden has employees.
But the Palin fans. Oh those Palin fans. If Todd knew that you just wanted to get a glimpse of her rogue nipples, not her mind
and or policies…
Judging from some of the search engine traffic the Lens gets, I think the truth about us, is far more shallow than anyone really
wants to admit.
We’re all about Palin’s nipples, lifted trucks, Megan Fox and her
toe thumbs.
Anyway, a short list of recent popular searches that brought many of you here. Enjoy!
- Sarah Palin Nipple
- Sarah Palin Sex
- Sarah Palin’s Nipple (interesting change up)
- Megan Fox toe thumbs
- lifted trucks
- lifted Chevy trucks
- palin sex
- Sherman Alexie, masturbate (don’t ask)
- Hot Alaskan women porn
- “Sarah Palin” + teabaggers + nipples
Are you paying attention world? This list-O-rogue nipple searches explains much about America. That and our obsession with kielbasa sausage, dipsticks and you pretty much know everything!
Economy to Rebound on Backs of Patriots
Good news everybody! President Obama has dealt the Bush Depression a decent glancing blow. In one stroke of his mighty Presidential pen, 34,000 jobs have been created at a nominal cost of 500k to a million bucks per body, depending on which liar you ask.
Word has it from the Obama Pentagon that these 34,000 troops, will be made up from an exclusive group of American patriots.
A surge of the willing if you will.
This surge of the willing will include,
- Republicans
- Teabaggers
- Patriots who drive vehicles with yellow ribbons of magnetized troop support affixed to them
- Glenn Beck
- The CEO’s of Boeing and GE
- Fox News watchers
- Anyone who owns a copy of Going Rogue
- Representative Michele Bachmann’s entire district
- Representative Norm Dicks and his sons, since he is to blame
for Afghanistan
President Obama!! Fixing the economy and winning our wars against…well whoever the fuck our enemies are supposed to be…and staffing this latest surge with real patriots!
Genius.
Good luck with this surge of idiots General McChrystal. You asked for bodies…you got em!
The Old World Taught us Well
But we never did listen to the right Englishman.
In news that should shock a couple of you self-identified/moderate Americans, out of their black Friday shopping worries…Tony Blair is in some deep shit.
Newly leaked documents have now proven that he lied about Iraq, the WMD’s and generally behaved poorly. If you do not know who Tony Blair is…please continue on with your Black Friday! shopping of the sheeples. Shop early, shop often and do not concern yourself with these things…
For the three of you remaining, this is kind of exciting news! If the world was indeed sane!
The English inquiry into Mr. Blair’s, “Bushing up” the fake war on terror is turning up some familiar accusations.
Said familiar accusations…
- Tony lied, George lied
- Parliament and Congress were lied to
- Congress and Parliament knew more than they will admit
- Troops in both nations Armies were sent to Iraq without the gear they needed
- Planning for the nation building and exiting said nation building, did not exist.
- There were no WMD’s, not even the ones we gave Saddam.
- Blair/Bush knew that what they were planning, would probably be frowned upon
And a bunch of other oddities like Anthrax and torture, that we don’t really want to deal with.
If the English fancy themselves a much better bunch of humans than us constant war making/bloodthirsty, pretend Christian Americans…then by all means, prosecute the fuck out of Blair and his guilty handlers.
The three Americans and myself who think the Bush/Cheney Corporation should be on trial as well?
Okay sorry. There really is not a chance in hell that any trials will ever happen here. Besides, we’re kind of busy with Fusion Centers, fake wars on nations, marijuana, Christmas and Mexicans right now…and did you hear? There is a black man in the White House!!
And he might have a Hawaiian/al Qaeda agenda!!
NewKleer Energy and Button Pushin
So they had a little radiation leak at Three Mile Island. Again.
Diane Screnci of the NewKleer Nuclear Regulatory Commission says everything is fine. Sure an airborne radiological alarm went off, workers were exposed to a small amount of radiation…but this kind of incident does happen once in a while. Chill out.
Yes, yes we had a visitor today…but he didn’t touch anything that we are aware of. Diane went on to say some words that when put in the form of a sentence, sounded like she said, “There was no impact on public health safety” and “they don’t know the origin of the contamination”.
Followed by “It’s a minor incident, everything is under control“.
Oh Jesus.
Good luck Pennsylvania.
Let Brett Favre Fix It
According to a part time shitty actor named Fred Thompson, we’ve already lost the war against the mud hut dwelling folks in Afghanistan. Kind of like Fred and his incontinence.
Iraq? We’re still waiting for those ungrateful people to welcome our spreading of Democracy and throw us a liberating party…Cheney/Rumsfeld style.
The spread-age of Democracy will prove even more difficult in Iran. We can’t even keep Mexican warlords out of our schools, how in Sarah Palin’s delusional mind can we beat Iran?
Brett Favre. That’s how. Do not question is age, motivation or reasoning…just call him. He will deliver.
We set up a winner takes all game of football (American Football! thank you very much) against our enemies. We shall call it the Middle East Bowl. Or maybe the Super Democracy Bowl…Suck on American Freedom Bowl? We’ll figure that out.
Picture Brett and a team of his making, tearing apart the opponents Allah 4-3 defense…etc. etc. Or just picture the Seattle Seahawks, same diff. same outcome. We win and we win quickly. Our objectives, contracts and pipeline routes will be accomplished in less than 2 quarters of American Football!
Thanks Brett!
Now the halftime show…Lee Greenwood and Lady Gaga?
Allow Me to Introduce Myself
I’m a man of wealth and taste…
General Kevin Chilton wants new nuclear weapons.
I’ve been around for a long, long year…
The General calls our nuclear arsenal the foundation of the nation’s strategic deterrence capability.
stole many a man’s soul and faith…
Kevin would like the military to invest more in the nuclear enterprise.
pleased to meet you…hope you guess my name…
Kev said, “It’s a new world in the 21st century, and we need weapons that were designed for and support the needs of the 21st century.”
but what’s puzzling you…is the nature of my game…
Supporters of our aging deterrent of earth ending death, just want to upgrade a few weapons for the sake of safety and sanity.
I rode a tank…held a general’s rank…
when the Blitzkrieg raged…and the bodies stank…
pleased to meet you…
hope you guessed my name…
Others ask uncomfortable questions…and have even cut their way into one of the most secure nuclear weapon storage areas on the planet.
what’s puzzling you…is the nature of my game…
Just 20 miles from Seattle, over 2000 nuclear warheads wait.
I watched with glee…while your kings and queens
Bangor stores more warheads than England, France, China, Israel, India, Pakistan and North Korea combined.
fought for ten decades..for the Gods they made
Next time you gaze west to the Olympic Mountains, keep in mind whats right in front of you.
just as every cop is a criminal…and all the sinners saints
as heads is tails…just call me Lucifer…
’cause I’m in need of some restraint
Pleased to meet you. Hope you guess my name.
President or…
JIHAD?
Wake up America! Remember 9/11, remember Afghanistan, Iraq, Bailouts, the Patriot Act, war crimes, Katrina, Depression 2008-2015 and the deaths of hundreds of thousands.
And furthermore, I want to know who this Bush criminal is.
I’m probably like a lot of other people that have asked the question, I want to know who our president is. And to date, I don’t think I know, I don’t think a lot of people know, I don’t think it’s ever been asked — answered. […]
When this Fort Hood massacre occurred, and I saw the response of our Commander in Chief to this unbelievable, politically correct, nonsense — to me it was just enough. And I wanted to bring a little bit more attention to this thing, because to me it just wasn’t getting addressed.
You can thank Phil Wolf, a mentally challenged racist birther, who sells cars in Wheat Ridge, Colorado…for most of the above. I’ll let you decide if he is smart enough to ask his same questions of the Bush corporation and the K Street Congress.
Do not hold your breath and or buy a car from Phil.
I sense an opening for Phil just occurred at a nearby Obama FEMA Camp for Whitey. Say hey to Glenn Beck and Dennis Miller for me!
