$16,835=130 Lap Dances of Justice
17 grand worth of lap dances! Hell yeah! That’s how we, or at least the Seattle PD and your FBI roll.
Sex! Strippers! Cops! Four years of lap dances, a few hand-jobs and you’ve got just another puritanical battle of crew cut vs. mammal intercourse.
Scary!! And what a horrible waste of a Motley Crue and or an “ageless” Steppenwolf tune…
We used to call this fraud, waste and abuse, back in the glorious Strategic Air Command days. I think.
I was awfully busy protecting your neewwkuular nuewcular nuclear weapons and B-52’s, while simultaneously occupying various strip joints and bars to remember much of it.
Patriots we were!
Anyway, we here at the lens covered this story of scary girly parts, overwhelming law enforcement attention and the plight of the Colacurcio family business…right here, about two years ago. Covered being a hard word to define…
130 God damned lap dances of entrapped justice. That’s kind of like watching Mick Mars struggle to walk across the stage, or Motley Crue without Tommy Lee.
Kind of.
If Rove Knew Then What He Knew Then
He’d still be the war criminal that he is today. Free to waddle around aimlessly, writing sci-fi books about his daring misadventures in the Liz Cheney vaginal area.
I hear it’s a pretty droopy read. On both accounts.
Obviously, this brings us to a phenomenon that nature herself, could not have accomplished on her own. I’m referring to the huge rise in global temperatures the last half-century. It is indeed man-made.
And that man is…Mickey Rourke!
That’s right, Mickey did it. My man! says he has “bedded,” 14 women in one hot and fairly icky English night.
Indeed.
Blow it out your fat asses, Karl and Liz.
Mickey could screw circles…and a few other geometric shapes, around both of your bloated bodies of Capitalistic Democracy.
WMD’s Killed the Dinosaurs
Not unlike the CIA and your Department of Defense, science is not to be trusted or taken seriously.
According to my dog-eared copy of Going Rogue…Saddam’s well hidden WMD’s killed the dinosaurs, some 1500 years ago. Give or take a couple of years. Yahoo News!! says otherwise, but they’re part of the elite liberal media, and the gotcha journalism of today.
65 million years ago…as if!!
Speaking of Saddam, 9/11 and 9/11 Saddam, apparently there’s still a war going on in Iraq? Who knew?
Did we not vanquish the evil doers who may have had smoking guns in the form of mushroom clouds? Like, almost a decade ago?
Did we not free the poor peoples of Iraq from all of the death, mayhem and suffering, caused by Saddam and 9/11?
Iraq's WMD's
Did we not bring those poor peoples corrupt free elections? What of all the Starbucks in the Green Zone? Blackwater? BP, Shell
and Exxon Mobile?
I thought so.
Vatican Reach-Around
Oh Jesus!, don’t ask and don’t tell the Pope! Because one of the Pope’s main dudes, known as a ‘Gentleman of His Holiness’, has been outed as a male human who digs other men of the genus Homo.
Shocking.
In related news, David Corn of Mother Jones, tells us that Karl Rove is trying to protect his rear. David goes on to say, “Karl Rove is trying to mount something of a rear-guard action…”
Thank you David, thank you very much…
Meanwhile, in Texas…a group of rabid anti-gay, anti-human, anti-Episcopalian, anti-fun, anti-genus Homo, anti-earth, anti-American fuckups called Repent Amarillo, are coming after you next.
Perhaps y’all might want to call the FBI?
Meanwhile at the FBI…they’re pretty busy paying racist media types, who as advertised…hate humans of color and did I mention he fears teh gays too? When not employing racist homophobes, the FBI is also really busy ignoring all of the wacky, illegal shit your CIA and NSA are involved with, so good luck with that phone call thing.
Finishing up this scary post of all things genus Homo, Senator Roy Ashburn, the anti gay state senator from California, was arrested for drunk driving after leaving…come on, say it with me…a gay bar.
Just another day here in the Homeland! Fear! Hate! Fear! Gay! Gay Terrorists?! Fear!! Jesus! Hate.
Fear is your only God.
Iran to Your Twinkie?
Twinkie Wrapped in a Bacon Jihad
Both we are told, are bad for us. How many patriots do you recall seeing on your teevee, that called for the invasion, occupation and torture of Hostess Brand Snack Cakes?
Besides Sarah Palin?
Exactly…
Iran has been next up on our great big list of places to invade and occupy, for quite some time now. The Twinkie, and foods like it, have never been targeted by our glorious Homeland. In fact, they’re protected.
Diabetes, heart disease, self-induced death by gunshot and diet soda, kill more Americans than Monsanto ever dreamed possible! And Monsanto can dream big wet dreams full of death and prosperity. Ask anyone who suffered Monsanto’s Agent Orange. Ask a U.S. farmer who’s been prosecuted by Monsanto for saving seeds.
We’re a nation full of illiterates. We fear anyone who appears literate. We fear everything except, the Monsanto’s and the rest of our corporate run Homeland, who thrive on killing us, their consumer.
Mind-numbingly complex, no?
Not really, no.
Instead of educating the masses, we propagandize them. Instead of exporting good will and organic apples, we invade, conquer and poison with wild, reckless Christian Jihad abandon.
The world and her resources are ours for the taking. Do not even concern yourself with the coming water wars abroad, or here in the Homeland.
What’s that you say? Vegas, Cali and Texas need the Pacific Northwest’s water?
Bring it on sheeple. We’ve got more nukes and Homeland securing weaponry up here, than most of the pretend free world combined…
Propaganda of the Homeland is a powerful thing…si? No? Yahhhh.
Troubled Commanders Kissed in a Rusty Cage
Or if you desire, an afternoon music break, with a glimpse into where most of your money went during the Bush years and continue to go, during the Obama year.
KBR, a distant inbred cousin of Halliburton’s, has just “won” another contract with your US Army. It’s worth $2.8 billion. Proving once again, that Capitalism and your K Street Congress, do work together very nicely when they want to thank-you very much.
Bring on the rusty cage…
Staying with Iraq, death, brain trusts and the end of affordable anything…US Commanders in Iraq say they are unsure.
To better help us poor victims of the Homeland understand the finer points of these things…the Wall Street Journal went and put some words together on a page, where they formed what I think was a message…”U.S. commanders say they are unsure about who is responsible for the persistent violence in Iraq.”
Really??
Thanks Wall Street Journal. I’m fucking speechless.
Okayyyyy. Enjoy the music. Go about your day, citizens of
the Homeland.
Mr. Obama, Tear Down this Wall
Sage advise from Saint Ronnie’s balls.
From Ronnie’s balls to the original Bush twins lips…President Obama has more legacy ending crap to deal with than…the original
Bush twins.
Not unlike the retards in Kansas, you can’t pray away the gay or the torture, the fake wars, the crimes of the Pentagon, CIA or Wall Street.
Retarded Kansassian
Happy Homeland Hump Day everybody!!
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