NASA Balloons Blow
Subtlety, not a NASA Strong Suit
Looks like the boys at NASA may have popped their last space balloon in the Australian Outback. And with this latest setback, the odds of George Takei headlining this winter’s NASA convention in Vegas? Probably greater than George realizing the importance of nozzle design, as it relates to flow choking and the amount of thrust needed for proper exit velocity.
So obviously, if the Takei General Thrust Equation is given by F = (m dot * V)e – (m dot * V)0 + (pe – p0) * Ae
Then it should also be a given that balloons do not fly upwards in Australia. They fly the opposite direction, which as any rocket scientist worth its weight in gold-pressed latinum could tell you…is down.
The other major problem with this multi-kabillion dollar failed mission of hot air, was the name of its payload…the Nuclear Compton Telescope.
The original Nuclear Telescope, Vernon MacKinnon of Compton, California, called…and he’s fucking pissed.
Vernon would like NASA to share some of its space balloon budget with places like Compton, Detroit and Chicago.
Build a couple of community colleges. Or twenty of them.
ET will wait for us. The world that the Homeland occupies, will not.
Vernon "Nuclear Telescope" MacKinnon (photo center)
Add to: Facebook | Digg | Del.icio.us | Stumbleupon | Reddit | Blinklist | Twitter | Technorati | Yahoo Buzz | Newsvine
It’s the Hantavirus Stupid
Investigating Bush Torture Next
I probably should just stop at the photo caption…but what’s a little bit of Bush torture between friends?
So ya. Shakira is on her way to Arizona, right behind Chuck D, to find out just what in the hell the fear filled, racist, sunburned minority of McCain land, are up to now.
It’s pretty easy to unravel the mystery. Blame genetics, then blame the mouse shit. It’s the Hantavirus stupid.
Mouse Shit Causes Arizona
No shit? I shit you not, jefa.
You know…Washington State has a few idiots of its own. Sure we can blame the mouse shit, Hanford, or Dino Rossi for most of the stupid. But don’t tell Shakira.
We need her suerte.
Add to: Facebook | Digg | Del.icio.us | Stumbleupon | Reddit | Blinklist | Twitter | Technorati | Yahoo Buzz | Newsvine
There’s Always One Asshole or Three
Killed Kurt
I don’t know who to give today’s much sought after Vigilant Lens asshole of the day award to…Courtney Love for being Courtney, Gavin Rossdale (really Gavin?) or the trio of Debbie downers that are Alexey Yablokov, Vassily Nesterenko and Alexey Nesterenko.
Alex, Vassily and Alexey ask the question…“do you Amerikans remember Chernobyl?”
Of course we don’t, assholes.
“Well, according to our calculations and tireless examinations of most glorious Soviet studies from back in tzhe day…Chernobyl was uhh, how do you say…like really, really, really much fucking worse than was tolds to you peoples of your glorious Homeland?”
Ahh yes. There is indeed always one or more assholes, trying to kill our buzz with news that we really don’t have any use for.
And what the hell are we supposed to think about Hanford? Three Mile Island? Clean Coal? BHA and BHT being added to preserve freshness??
Thanks assholes. Thanks a lot.
I think we’ve found our winners!!
When in Chernobyl?
Add to: Facebook | Digg | Del.icio.us | Stumbleupon | Reddit | Blinklist | Twitter | Technorati | Yahoo Buzz | Newsvine
Raising Arizona?
Dad says books suck
The time has come to give Arizona back. Or just wall it in and let nature do what it does best.
I think it was God, Santa, Jesus or Clay Aiken who said, love thy neighbor as thyself. I’m at a loss as to how masturbating with Arizona or Clay, will help anything. But if it keeps the white folks there from breeding, what the hell!
As I’ve spent too much time on yet another shining example of the wholesomeness that is the Arizona sector of the Homeland, I think it’s safe to say that the book haters in Arizona, are already “outnumbered.” Hence their last gasp, Glenn Beck inspired, pretend law of white flour stupidity.
Good luck pendejos!
Vodpod videos no longer available.
Money for Nothing and Chicks for Free
Money for Nothing
I am seriously considering quitting.
In this country of rabid cult followers and couch bound Ichiro dwellers, I could be the next great quitter to pretend that the voices in my head were worthy of worship. Since the voices in my head are indeed worthy of worship, they would also be expensive.
As an aside, I’m guessing Ichiro would have to take a huge pay cut, or go back to the Dominican Republic where he belongs.
Here’s the plan. I quit, then I take over the teevee, radio, the tubes of the internets and the ridiculously outdated media that are newspapers and Newsweek…where I will speak my mind and many will froth at the mouth while they listen to the well paid voices in my head.
I will expect to get paid 195 thousand dollars for showing up to any event. If I speak, it’ll cost you double.
Someone else will write a book for me, filled with shit I didn’t actually do and I will be paid 5.5 million dollars for it. A second book will be attempted for 29 thousand dollars and it will fail miserably.
There will be an awesome bus that I will pretend to tour the country with and my wisdom will be plastered on the sides of it. Obviously I’ll be traveling via a corporate sponsored, private jet of freedom, piloted by John Travolta.
At some point, Boeing, Raytheon, the CIA and NBC will decide it’s time for me to be President. I will be voted into office by a huge minority of the peoples. I will end the wars in Vietghanistan, Pakistan, Iraq and Mexico and immediately invade Nova Scotia, Iceland and Genovia, so that I may wed Princess Thermopolis.
I’ll pay for the new wars by cutting taxes on the rich, closing schools, union busting and by lowering the minimum wage to 32 cents an hour. Any remaining Taco Bell jobs will be sent overseas.
The Democrats will be blamed for all of it. They will then pout, stamp their feet and threaten me with yet another Representative John Conyers letter of scary take no action filled stuff.
Torturing people to death will be marketed and re-branded as being almost like a stay at a Motel 6. And it will work.
Then I’ll blame the Democrats.
When a fairly famous film maker keeps making film, after film, after film, after Goddamn film…showing you peoples the truth about all of the criminal misdeeds being done to you by me and mine, he will be discredited by calling him a fat, disheveled traitor who cherry picks the bad stuff. And it will work.
His fat movies of treachery, will then only be shown in towns with a population of 8 thousand or less.
When all is said and done, I’ll be rich and you’ll be broken. Then I’ll blame the Democrats and raise the terrorist threat level thingy to mauve, or something.
Enjoy your Monday. Work harder.
Watch for my book.
Buy several of them.
Add to: Facebook | Digg | Del.icio.us | Stumbleupon | Reddit | Blinklist | Twitter | Technorati | Yahoo Buzz | Newsvine
Space is the Place
In yet another example of billions and billions for the war machine of the Homeland, over say…decent school lunches, the Pentagon, NASA and my glorious USAF, have launched themselves a super secret, kabillion dollar space ship of ill intentions.
Lets just say that this ship in space is not intended as another giant leap for mankind. This is more of a we will kill you and your kind, if you step out of line, kind of leap.
Meanwhile back at the Homeland’s Bat Cave, those same hungry kids, who go to underfunded schools and then go on to careers such as Meth farmers and Congressional fodder for Vietghanistan…are now killing themselves at a rate of 18 veterans per day.
Slap that number right next to your yellow ribbon of pretend troop support, proudly displayed on the back of your fossil fuel burning vehicle.
For further information, please turn on your radio and or read the words of Maj. Gen. Paul Vallely. Paul believes that white folks are the chosen ones and that President Obama is indeed from Kenya. Paul is full of shit and is currently hunting Saddam’s WMD’s and illegal humans in Arizona.
Think about it. It’ll all make sense at some point.
Apathy Abounds
Be it South Central, South Africa, Arizona, New Orleans, Detroit or Wall Street; the ever-expanding ideologies of the Republican Party are spewing forth like a racist fire hose, soaking whats left of all
common sense.
The Republican fire hose of hatred, can only be used where apathy abounds. Look around. Apathy abounds.
Where apathy is found, cowards like Joe Arpaio and Theophilus Eugene “Bull” Conner abound.
Apathy empowers the cowards. Look around. Cowards abound.
Apathy bailed out the billionaires who raped, pillaged and destroyed Hillary Clinton’s pretend little village. Apathy pays Boeing. Boeing kills the kids in the wars on empathy. The CIA tortures the ones who survive.
The Democrats have sat empathetically by, stewing and brooding. Brooding and stewing and waiting. Waiting to act. Waiting for the smallest sign from we the apathetic. Checking for a pulse, instead of a Teabanging flatline____________
Everyone is waiting. Everyone has empathy. Empathy empowers apathy.
Apathy empowers the cowards. Look around. Apathy abounds.
Add to: Facebook | Digg | Del.icio.us | Stumbleupon | Reddit | Blinklist | Twitter | Technorati | Yahoo Buzz | Newsvine
