Michael Chertoff Goes Rogue
Put your right hand in if you remember Michael Chertoff. Put your right hand out if you remember Rapiscan. Put your right hand back in if you’ve been unemployed and pissed off. Now shake your right hand all about if the Army is more affordable for you than college.
You do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself around…and that’s what it’s all about.
Pocket Quarter Symmetry
A quarter in the pocket in 1982, was like having a smart-assed phone in the pocket of today.
If you were good enough, that quarter could buy you an hours worth of Asteroids on many a 7-11 owned…corporate-like corner. If you were bad enough, that quarter bought you a long payphone call home, from many a county owned…corporate-like juvenile hall.
If my pocket held a quarter today, it would probably only be worth about 7 and a half cents. Had I not used so many quarters for those long juvenile payphone calls home, I might have spent more time in a fake history class.
A quarter in my pocket in 1988, bought far less beer at the Bulldog Tavern, than a young and dumb man could think. Since Metallica was on the jukebox there, that beer-less quarter was able to help that young and dumb man…more than he could think.
Gonzaga is a nice Roman Catholic university. It’s located just down the street from that jukebox in the tavern. Where that young and dumb man stood. With his pocket and a quarter.
Funny those nice Roman Catholic girls of Gonzaga. They liked Metallica too, but spending that quarter on Mellencamp, got that young and dumb man educated further faster…than many of that young and dumb man’s friends thought to think.
If my Bulldog Tavern quarter of 1988 – could have somehow talked with my Asteroids quarter from 1982 – then maybe my useless quarter of 2012 – wouldn’t have forgotten about all of those not-so-dumb lessons…those old quarters taught.
Between a Galifianakis and a Feral Place
I’ve skied on the moccasin filled waters behind Biloxi
I’ve expelled cheap bourbon in Spokane’s drunken shadows
But I’ve never been served a shitty latte by Will Ferrell
Or his shorter Galifianakis in Seattle
Judging by the 28,217 easily distracted humans
Who turned out for a chance
At caffeinated Nirvana
Neither have they
You People
Patriot Acted for years, you take a walk in the middle of a place…where you can’t drive to a Walmart within 30 minutes.
Patriot Acted and confused while walking – in the middle of nowhere near a Walmart – you see a keypad jutting forth from the sands that lie nowhere near any of those jobs at Walmart. You punch in 8675309…because you’re a sad patriot, who remembers the 80’s for what they really were not.
Actually, it’s not.
Punching in numbers on a mysterious keypad that rises from the sands…that lie nowhere near those jobs at Walmart — you aren’t thinking about any of the never-ending wars, but you are feeling bad for Fred Willard.
Feeling bad for Fred Willard while punching in meaningless numbers from the 80’s on a mysterious keypad in the sand…doesn’t save Lockheed Martin’s war profiteering jobs, but it does remind Fox News of
Pee Wee Herman.
Fox News remembering Pee Wee Herman, reminds us of how important it is to vote for one team or the other. We know that the two teams are totally different, because there’s a mysterious keypad…rising from the sands that lie nowhere near any of the jobs at Walmart.
I’m no magician, and I’m certainly not a mathematician, but I do know this much
Reagan’s cheese is people.
Sailing the Seven Acidifying Seas
Risky business this acidity.
Some say the sour oceans are as bad for us
As Monsanto flavored bread.
Risky business this acidity.
Breaking Them
Broken children come from broken children
Broken children seek out broken others
Broken children raise broken children
They swear to never break theirs
Like those before
Who broke them
It takes two to make one
It only takes one
To forgive the two
Who broke them
The Constant State Of
Many a Washington conservative knows – that you can’t toss an empty Budweiser can anywhere near Seattle, without hitting a shade-grown hippie of the liberal nanny state. These Godless while liberal fornicators are overdecorated with expensive tribal tattoos – and they’re fond of condom usage and clean needles.
They force their liberal agenda of healthy foodstuffs and filled Spokane potholes upon us, while simultaneously attempting to give equal opportunities to everyone in ridiculous misadventures like education, birth control, and jobs…that pay more than 22 bucks an hour! Don’t even mention the liberal and its support of the Spanish-speaking terrorist interlopers…and their free healthscare that comes at our war-tax dollar expense!
Many a Washington liberal knows – that you can’t pick up an empty Budweiser can anywhere east of Bellevue, or anywhere south of Edgar Martinez Drive…and try to recycle it, without forcing a sun-burned conservative to weep for the loss of the Hank Williams Jr. intro song on Monday Night Football. These God-fearing fornicators are overdecorated with barbed wire and belching eagle tattoos – and they’ve never met a condom or a clean needle that they knew they should use.
They force their conservative agenda of super-sized foodstuffs and unfilled Spokane potholes upon us, while simultaneously attempting to keep most people away from equal opportunities like faith-based education, condoms, and jobs that pay less than 10 bucks an hour! Don’t even mention the conservative and its support of every Bush-like war on brown-skinned humans, Bradley Manning and Main Street – that Obama is still waging quite nicely – that also comes at building any new Chihuly glass watching opportunities expense!
CNN isn’t Fox News, yet CNN is pushing for Iranian war.
Whose Fox News?
Our Fox News!
Good jobs would help ease our conflicted minds.
Yet most good jobs come with a war
or a nuclear wasteland attached.
The constant state of
it’s constant
and it’s constantly of
The Vigilant Lens 