I Can Has Enemies?
Smog of Apathy
As Teabaggery is to socialist paved roads, pictures of cute cats are to apathetic testicles. It’s the apathetic testicles of the Homeland, that are responsible for our wars on brown kids and truthiness.
What are we fighting for? Freedom, testicle usage and Jesus!
Who are we fighting for? Boeing, Walmart and opium based alkaloids!
What else are we fighting for? The continued availability of free porn, cute cats and the right to be shielded from real media!
No wait…the who is Jesus, Obama and Halliburton. The why is yellow cake tipped missiles in Haiti, laced with the whitey/freedom hating drug lords of Mexico, who might also be coveting your wives and your jobs at Home Depot. All of this coupled with President Clinton still working feverishly behind the scenes…to strip us of our weapons and God-given rights of lots of other stuff…
One can see where we would tend to drive any half-assed war lord, worth his CIA paycheck, fucking nuts.
Small minds, small freedoms.
Sarah Killed the Easter Maverick
Palin Karma is a fickle whore.
I’m sure someone warned the Maverick of this phenomenon during the Palin vetting process…no?
Ah yeah, no.
Later this decade, Palin Karma will also be blamed for the failed wars in Iraq, Vietghanistan, Iran, North Korea, Venezuela, Cuba and Haiti.
Is it me, or do the evil doer nations keep getting smaller, hungrier and easier to spread Democracy in and or occupy?
Better watch your fucking ass Iceland.
Rock on and or be vigilant. Back at it tomorrow.
Pillow Fights are Safer Than…
Saftey First
Pillow fights are fun and much safer than say…joining the Army.
Pillow fights are safer than being a brown-skinned human who just happens to live beneath the flight path of a Boeing drone.
Pillow fights are safer than President Clinton taking away all of our guns! He might still!!!
Seattle pillow fights are safer than being a transgendered Washington State AG, who fears healthscare and pork tacos.
Pillow fights are also much safer than the meth lab in your kitchen, deep-fried meat, Denny’s Restaurants or the upcoming draft for the never-ending corporate wars on stuff.
If I were cuter and a girl, I’d be such a Debbie downer. And a bitch.
Now grab a pillow and watch Rico. He’s 62 now. And safe.
The Teabagger Patriots Were Right!
Nailin Palin Patriot
President Obama has filled out his Census form.
Are you sitting down?
He did not choose half white, mixed race or even Irish. He chose…the African-American box!
He’s black!! And African? He’s a black African!!
Sweet Jesus give me a car, a tevee, a new laptop or a gym membership…this Sunday!! Then someone call Hannity, Beck or Ted Nugent…we told you libruls he was black. Black and Kenyan!
Yes sir, even Palin porn searching patriots can be right every so often.
Good catch patriots and happy Easter!
I’m Going Back to Wasilla…
Wasilla, Wasilla…I’m going back to Wasilla, no I don’t think so.
I’m going back to Wasilla, rising, surprising, advising realizing
she’s sizing me up…
Her bikini small, her heels tall…she said, she liked, the ocean.
And thus ends Sarah Palin’s upcoming fake interview with L.L. Cool J.
Drill Baby Drill and Peaceful Terrorists
0700 and all is well in the Homeland…
No really!
Our permanent presence in the Middle East goes very well, thank you very much. Election tampering 101 being taught to those we’d like to see in power in the ME, for now, goes swimmingly well too.
Are Halliburton, Triple Canopy and GE still happy? Sure! But they’ll be happier after Operation Iran so far away.
Hurricane Katrina is all but forgotten…by those who made it worse.
Evil doing terror creators, are actually 14 shades lighter than the ones Homeland Security keeps warning us about. Peaceful terrorists like the ones that hate war, GMO’s and racism, don’t really exist. Just ask the Tacoma poleese. Coincedently, the CIA’s Abu Zubaydah isn’t all that he was cracked up to be either. He must have pissed off the Tacoma, Washington poleese too?
Oh well, at least the economy is recovering, jobs are returning and President Obama wants to drill his way to energy independence. Yeah!! Drill baby drill!
It’s funnier when Sarah Palin want’s to drill a baby. But when the Obama Administration who still enjoys following the Bush Doctrine does it…much to the confusion of the Homeland’s Christian Jihadist’s, well, I told you so?
Good luck Iran.
Ronald Reagan Loved Judas Priest
The hero of the slow-witted everywhere…loved arming nations like Iran, Iraq and Turkey. He also got an old man boner every time a South American/Central American human got thrown out of a CIA helicopter, that was conveniently hovering at several thousand feet. An old man boner also happened to Ronald, anytime Oliver North entered the room. Reagan also loved Judas Priest.
This explains many things about Ronnie Raygun. It also confuses the hell out of the Homelands fake movement of teabaggernista’s.
I’ll explain all!! Later today. Or not.
Be Vigilant.
