Books and Sex Ed are is Worse than the TalialQaedaban
Mentions Stuff
Sex Education! Books that mention sex!, violence! and poopy words! Wisconsin! Tri-Cities, Washington!
Boo!
As we’ve just finished shooting up another bus load of brown skinned humans in Afghanistan, our attention must once again turn to the evils of sex and books. From masturbating native humans, to the disgusting trend of teaching our children about how, where and what happens when a penis is put someplace…to books with words in them…these trends are trending and dangerous.
As we all know, books, sex ed and liberals, are worse than the TalibalQaedaban or our Kenyan president. They must be stopped.
In other news, Willie Nelson’s band was busted for pot and WikiLeaks has another video of Afghan kids and their parents being blown up…because they just happen to live in Afghanistan.
Praise the Lord, fear the books, fear the sex and fear bands who smoke the Ganja…just another wacky/fearful day here in the
highly educated Homeland.
Seattle TeeVee Saves the Decade!
The Belo Corporation has done it again! Their King 5 News! are blowing their own horn and basking in the light of a collective, journalistic yawn. Go here, read more and my hat and pants are off to you King 5, because we all know how hard it is to blow ones own horn.
When King 5 and Belo are not pretending to save the decade from state ferry workers and Nadine Woodward, they’re also not saving us from their pretend journalism. As King 5 will breathlessly remind us, they saved us taxpayers millions of dollars by fucking with Washington State Ferry captains and their underlings…who you know, operate those big boats and keep us dry and stuff. Thanks?
Really King 5, if you want to screw with state workers and wasted time, resources and money, allow me to introduce you to Washington State Parks. Click the link, throw a dart at the map. Your welcome.
Wait King 5, there’s more!
Take a look into our states 2.8 billion dollar, Bush shortfall. The state legislature is going to pass a new tax on beer, pop, candy, water, marijuana and porn that will raise an estimated 150 million dollars. We’re 2.8 billion in the Bush hole, thanks to George Bush. 150 million is like…like fucking with Washington State Ferry captains!
Here’s the rub King 5. We here in Washington State, have paid 24 billion dollars for the never-ending Bush/Obama wars on brown kids and their parents. That’s 24 billion, so far. 2.8 billion in the Bush hole. 24 billion spent on the Bush/Obama wars and counting. Huh. Weird.
Try reporting on shit like that, Belo Corporation. Then watch Dino Rossi and Norm Dicks grow silent.
Keep digging deep King 5, then send me an email. There are so many healthscare/torture/fake wars/trillion’s for Boeing and Halliburton stories out there to be told…I could fill you in on a few of them.
Here’s me, holding my breath.
I’ma set it straight this Watergate…
Oh my God it’s a mirage…
I’m tellin y’all it’s Sabotage!
Herds of Worms and Republicans
Traveling in slimy herds, touching each other and making group decisions as to how to fuck over their followers next…turns out, Republicans are indeed just like earthworms.
Which of course, brings us to the great Southern Republican Leadership Conference being held in New Orleans. Or as the locals call it, Hurricane Katrina pas de deaux. A duet of Republican death.
Among the gathered herd of slimy, easily confused annelids, we find the usual mud dwellers. The say anything for cash Palin, a Newt, a Jindal and a criminal Cheney.
Scientists and their followers, when not making shit up about the age of fossils and global warming…say, “I have observed contact between two earthworms. (Republicans) Sometimes they just cross their bodies and sometimes they maximise contact. Out of soil, earthworms can form balls.”
Now we can better understand the Republican and it’s Senator Vitter, with his Republican prostitute/diaper fetish. Now I get their C Street Brothel for Jesus and their business meetings at sexy bondage clubs. And of course, Palin. I get it. Y’all wanna bang her. While wearing diapers and praying that colored folks all disappear.
I get it.
Even the scientists have had to modify their views on Republicans. “Our results modify the current view that earthworms (Republicans) are animals lacking in social behaviour.”
The worm has turned, formed balls and is capable of blind group think.
Thanks scientist humans. Please stick to studying things I don’t already know. Such as, could Santa Claus smack the shit out of Jesus?
Rehabilitated Penis by Nike
Thank you Nike for sticking by Tiger’s penis. It’s a wildly popular penis and it’s worth more hanging out on a golf course, surrounded by Nike wear…than surrounded by girls who’s parents taught them nothing of self-worth.
Perhaps Nike and President Obama should team up?
Between the ongoing GI resistance, or the deadly/expensive fake wars and an old torture prison with its new replacement all dragging down the president’s message of change…
If Nike can help Tiger’s penis?
Then why not the ‘new and improved Bagram Air Base and the war on occupied brown humans, brought to you by Nike!’
Just fucking do it eh?
Just Another Day in the Homeland
Rules of engagement, are for fake corporate media teevee personalities to prattle on about. For criminals like General Stanley McChrystal, our rules of engagement have never really existed.
In the above video, turn down the sound and watch the death of your country. Then turn the sound back up when Glenn Greenwald comes on. Come on try it. It’s better than watching American Idol.
Raise your hand if you think of yourself as a moderate, or even progressive human of the Homeland. Were you upset when you learned of the Bush Corporation and it’s illegal spying on Americans? How about those fake wars? Many of you were quite pissy about it. Where is the outrage at Obama? Cheney did not have the balls to do what Obama is doing.
Here’s a hint Teabaggers…it’s the fake wars, torture, murder and cover-ups, not better healthscare or his skin color.
The Homeland is sick. Pick a state, a county, a city or a burb…you’ll find poverty, crime, more crime, murder, rape, state sponsored racism, failing education, a Bush/Obama depression, a pedophile church, profitable private prisons, police departments battling mini wars against marijuana and an over active, very, very very well-financed Pentagon/Intelligence gathering Homeland apparatus.
The KGB was like a gay version of the Boy Scouts…in comparison.
You’re welcome Iraq, Afpakistan…the world! Enjoy our Democracy!
Just another busy day in the Homeland.
Stormin Norman Dicks and His Tummy
Boeing's Tummy
Representative Norm Dicks has once again graced the Olympic Peninsula with his tummy of immenseness. Norm and his robust tummy had plenty to say, none of it being worth a flying, fornicating donut factory.
Norm toured a boat in Port Townsend that was built about the same time (1913) Norm started his career in politics. After a snack, Norm visited Fort Worden State Park to tour some old buildings and enjoyed some cake. After the cake, Norm went to a meeting of gathered white people of the Rotary and mumbled something about something, through mouthfuls of deep-fried pork rinds, pork flavored biscuits smothered in pork gravy…all washed down with a diet Coke.
Norm went on to say some things like…
- The Bush Depression is indeed tough, but that government is here to help.
- Afghanistan should be farming potatoes or pork, not opium.
- The arts are great, healthscare is not scary and pass the ice cream.
Norm, for about the 1705th time, did not mention his role in creating the Taliban/Mujahideen/Bin Laden, or the ongoing occupations of nations that stuck their tongues out at us.
Norm did not mention Boeing, drones or the torture of POW’s in our wars on brown humans.
Norm failed to talk about how the fake wars on everything, not healthscare, created the Bush/Obama Depression. Contrary to what the citizens of the Homeland and the fat old men of Congress pretend…pork chops and wars are not free.
Freedom ‘ain’t‘ free either, but you can purchase it on credit.
Norm did not mention the Washington State 2 point billion, some gawd awful number of a deficit, or the 24 billion dollars Washington State tax payers have spent on Norm’s fake wars…so far.
Norm forgot to mention that his beloved Hood Canal is now so clean!, that you can eat some of the shellfish at Dosewallips State Park! For the first time in 23 years?? Back-handed, bitch slapped environmentalism at its finest!
Lets recap!
Norm came. Norm ate. Norm spoke through mouthfuls of food. Norm met with a bunch O white folk. Norm had a snack. Norm went home.
What could possibly be worse than a war mongering, self-appointed pork acceptor of a “progressive” Democrat…speaking out of both sides of his mouth, while eating? He could be a Teabagging, pretend patriot of a Republican.
It’s the wars, Norm. It’s the torture, Norm. It’s Halliburton and Boeing, Norm. It’s the trillions for them, Norm.
What a God damned mess we are.
Ford Begat Nixon, Obama Begat the Brush Cutter
Brush Cutter One
Obama “pardoned” Brush Cutter II, Brush Cutter II “pardoned” Clinton, Clinton “pardoned” Bush 1, Bush 1 “pardoned” Reagan, Reagan “pardoned” his breakfast croissant after the Oliver Northing of Carter and Ford gave Obama a decent reason to look forward.
Where’s the change?
I’d look further forward or just declare war on ninjas…
Like Timor’s finest did.
Yes, yes. Blame the ninjas! I know Homeland Security does.
