The Voices in McChrystal’s Head
So General Stan just left a rather substantial shit stain on his career. The torture of POW’s at Camp Nama didn’t stain Stan’s thong with shit, it made him erect. The Bush wars not being on Saudi Arabia, didn’t stain Stan either, it gave him yet another woody of freedom.
General Stan thinks of himself as a tough guy with an erection. In reality, Stan is a scared little girl who drinks Bud Light Lime while enjoying his twice daily viewing of Runaway Bride. Thanks Netflix!!
I say Stanley is a lying coward…so does Pat Tillman’s mom.
The problem with the coward Stan, is that the TalialQaedaban played him for an idiot…and they were right. As an added bonus, they also know that Stan drinks Bud Light Lime, the beverage choice of self-important girls everywhere.
Oh what could all of this drama mean!?
Perhaps someone should keep a vigilant eye on our money and the House of Representatives. For the Vietghanistan Supplemental Appropriation request for $33 billion…is set to appear on the floor of said House any old day now.
Remember patriots, perpetual war requires perpetual money and perpetual cowards like perpetual McChrystal, to keep spending it…perpetually.
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Torture Works…Eventually
Reward bad behavior and what do you get? A failed General running for President? A war criminal laughing his way through a Rolling Stone interview? A failed General who tortured POW’s and thinks the world of black men in his White House?
Add torturing animals as a child and bizarre sexual behavior with his subordinates and ladies and gentleman of the Homeland jury…you get what you pay for!
For the stimulating RS article on all things torturous and frilly…go here. For the McChrystal interview, go find it yourself.
I suppose things could be much worse. BP, the Pentagon and your various agencies of the glorious Homeland, could be like a roommate who just happened to be a French cannibal…who was attempting to eat us from the inside out while enjoying some fava beans and a nice Chianti? No? Oui!
The failed General will be back…because we made him and we did not spend a trillion dollars and counting for…change.
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Lieberman Say Relax
Senator Joe Lieberman say relax! We only want to turn off the tubes that make the internets run…during times of war and because China say so too!
On the Vigilant Lens meter of all things truthiness…Joe Lieberman comes in at “pole smoker.”
Not that there’s anything wrong with smoking the pole, if that’s what floats your boat, but in Smoking Joe’s case, smoking the pole makes ol Joe a liar.
Can I say pole smoker here?
Anyway, in other news related to smoking poles, the glorious Department of Justice once had Alberto Gonzales running it. Now it has Eric Holder running it. Notice the difference? Exactly…there is no difference.
Alberto found a way to make torture okay with Jesus. (Yoo) Eric has found a way to keep Jesus happy too! (ObamaYoo)
So relax peoples…smoke a little pole, wear a little diaper and do as Joe and Eric say, not as they do.
Happy Summer…
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Black Hawk Chernobyl
Peoples, peoples! The Gulf of Illegal Mexico is fine. Pay no attention to zee news reportages of the end of foods, fishes and peoples. The glorious Homeland will contains zee small discharges of oils.
Go abouts your businesses.
Meanwhile, in Black Hawk, Colorado, where zthe peoples do not speak with funny accents, but they do apparently hate themselves some fucking Communist bicycles.
This hatred of Commi-bicycles, is due to the fact that they tend to get in the way of the drunk, fat white folks, who need to drive around town from casino to casino…to casino. And we all know how well white while drunk, fat folks and bikes get along, no? Yeah, it’s a big problem in Black Hawk.
Is it me, or do the Homelandians of the Colorado Sector, appear to be enjoying far too much casino autonomy?
Anyway, keep driving your cars peoples of zee Homeland! Remember, solar power is for zthe liberals and I’ll have to work on my fake, scary, Communist-like typing voice, which scares zthe holy hell out of approximately 11 out of 9 Teabangers.
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Change is Like a Useless Fence of Sameness
Odd Jimmy Out
Change marches on like a useless billion dollar fence intended to keep us in. We read his lips and got new taxes. We learned that blow jobs and cigar insertion are indeed not sexual relations. We rallied behind the idiot for country, invasions and torturous occupations of profit filled freedom. Then change happened.
Change apparently means to ignore people like Jimmy Carter. Because solar energy and peaceful ideals are for pussies and the bourgeois turned Methwah.
Bush’s wars turned Obama’s wars are really our wars. Occupations for profit were not invented while you were on vacation. Changing the morality of a nation takes time. Time and money. Money and time.
Like the 43rd President of the corporate ship once said…”I know the human beings and fish can coexist peacefully”.
The retard was right, the fish and us, are all gasping for air in the oil soaked Gulf of humanity.
Now go forth, multiply and enjoy that pound cake!
British Petroleum is People!
When the smart apes start demanding money for war and the K Street owned Congressman start apologizing to British Petroleum…you’ll know someone is ready to install a kill switch on the internet.
Oh well shit look at that. Someone is trying to install a kill switch on the internet, because well you know, the United Senate of the Homeland has not yet fucked up the Homeland enough.
I mean really whats next, more offshore drilling permit approvals in the Gulf of Illegal Mexico? An oily death for the oceans of the world and that whole food chain thingy we smart chimps rely on?
I’m starting to think Tom Cruise is right. I’m off to jump on Oprah’s couch…and you didn’t hear this from me…but I think BP oil is made from the deaths of people!
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Harvesters of Sorrow
Obama’s BP sheen is a lot like Charlie’s Benz’s; they keep getting stolen out of the garage and pushed over a cliff?
Just like Charlie, the President keeps leaving the keys to the Homeland in the ignition and lo and behold…some general, or some corporation, or some asshole like Erik Prince, keeps stealing the rule of our pretend law, shoves it over a cliff…and then dares someone to do something about it.
As Charlie’s irrational fear of condom usage is to his checkbook…your checkbook is to Obama’s irrational fear of telling his daughters the truth.
Come on! No one said this shit has to make sense every time…but these two ‘did turn this lie to truth.’
Happy Vigilant Wensday…and as per usual, when I say Wensday, I usually mean Wednesday.
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