The FCC and You Filthy Word Loving Humans
Boo!
The end of days just moved one step closer to, well, the end!!
Thanks to the 2nd U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in Manhattan…we all should be able to enjoy teevee again. Because words like fuck, piss and or pissy fucking poop Nazi…will soon be flowing from the airwaves, like any day now!
Evidently, the FCC’s poopy word censorship thingy was just not kosher in a Homeland that enjoys free speech and or First Amendments.
FCC Chairman Julius Genachowski said: “We’re reviewing the court’s decision in light of our commitment to protect children, empower parents, and uphold the First Amendment.”
I say hey Julius! How about we stop worrying about nekkid breasts, ass and words…and empower parents to protect their children by not sending them to made up wars for Boeing? Maybe we could spend trillions on education, health care or jobs?
Instead of 37 billion more for war, lets throw it towards the arts instead. Hows that grab ya, Julius?
Maybe 600 billion for a wall to keep Arizona, Texas and Florida
locked in?
2 billion to house our war criminals at Leavenworth?
Several hundred thousand for me to go on a beer drinking tour?
Hello? Motherfucker?
Well this bit O’ news should piss off a few and distract the rest from wars, oil volcanoes and all things marijuana, Mexican or Obomber related.
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Conservatives Use Both Sides
Conservatives use both sides of their toilet paper. It’s a conservation thing. You tax and spend Democrats should try being more conservative like Henry and Sarah.
Sarah conserves nature by killing it conservatively from an airplane.
Nature Saved!
Henry Kissinger has been conserving the Homeland, conservatively, since before there was even a Homeland to conserve! From Cambodia to Vietnam to South America and possibly Kent State, Henry has been conserving his way of life by killing life…and losing every war he’s ever told a President to illegally start. Conservative conservation? Genius!
Conservatives are now turning against the old war in Vietghanistan, that they used to be for, before they were against it, because someone found out Ann Coulter has an Adams Apple.
I don’t understand it…but then again, we’re not supposed too!
Guess I’m off to use both sides of my shade grown, virgin forest made toilet paper…and try and wrap my mind around why?, and how?, storing the Red Hot Chili Peppers in the Arctic Doomsday Vault is going help anything. I guess Flea and Anthony will just have to trust in the ways of Kissinger and Palin.
Henry and Sarah do work in mysterious, conservative ways…and their records speak for themselves, but there is no way in hell I’m sucking Kissinger’s kiss.
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The Sabbath was so Yesterday
Depending on who you listen to most often, Mel Gibson or Tom Cruise, there’s a good chance that you believe Sunday is the Sabbath and that Saturday is the work of the Devil and or Socialism.
Sunday is actually the Lords Day, generally known as the day that we try to torture, rape and murder a tad bit less.
Saturday and the rest of the days are based on the Wicca calendar of seasons, which of course drives the Christians, Mormons, ‘Muslins‘ and Corporatists…absolutely nuts.
Mystery solved, if you ask me.
So today on this the false Sabbath, let us remember those who have helped us torture the brown-skinned evil doers to death. Nations who abhor and outlaw torture like the United Kingdom, Germany and France, have been a tremendous help to the Homeland.
Thanks for the help torture assistants!
I see London I see France?
Sure, torture is only torture when Wall Street fears it may have to pay for it’s crimes…but that’s none of your concern.
Your concern should be directed towards Mexicans. Mexicans and liberals. Liberals, Mexicans and Socialistic libraries, water and sewer ought to concern you.
Marijuana!
Mexicans, marijuana, libraries, liberals and taxing the rich is of concern. Rich people trickle their excrement down to you, the little people…so ignore any calls to tax the rich any further. Instead, you should tax soda, beer and your property that was just foreclosed on…not the rich.
Are you concerned yet? Good. Now go repent and do not, I repeat DO NOT, leave your children unattended for more than 3 minutes at Sunday school. They’ll thank you later.
Vodpod videos no longer available.
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Reagan Sucked and Obama Blows
We are indeed witnesses.
In the Vigilant Lens online dictionary of all things known to human kind, ‘witnesses’ is defined as: wit-ness-es, a verb that describes…mindless drones who watch from a comfortable distance, as we bomb ourselves to death with oil volcanoes, sugar filled foods and a general malaise of sorts, that when used daily, leads to a hospital bill which requires foreclosure, unemployment and repossessed vehicles to pay for it all.
Lebron James is able to toss an orange ball towards a round hole that is located 10ft off the ground. Lebron can also jump and throw the ball down with great force…through the 10ft. high hole above the ground. Sometimes Lebron is even able to dribble without traveling.
Lebron is a God and God does not like gay humans, humans of color or humans that lack money.
God also has a sense of humor. Look no further than LeBron, Obama, Mel Gibson or the treasonous Presbyterians.
Mel hates condoms, Jews and pretty much everything else that he can’t stick his crazy dick into. Mel is the Homeland, all wrapped up in a scary, Australian flag colored condom.
Mel also loves to watch Lebron, but would much rather see him in chains. Mel respects the hard-line Obama has taken with everything. Dead Reagan, the Bush twins, Clinton and your K Street Congress, never dreamed a president could be as good for the business of empire building as Obama is.
But Mel? Mel would still feel better if President Obama were in chains.
The President has accomplished much. The wars are going well, the Bush Depression is over, the environment is safe, clean and open for business. The prosecution of the captured evil doers goes alright, the Patriot Act is intact, the NSA fears us and the elite liberal media is doing it’s job quite nicely…thank you very much.
President Obama is creating job opportunities galore for you unemployed patriots…but none of you want ‘those jobs.’
The president continues to keep us safe from spying Communists, who were charged with passing along our secret frappachino recipes and outlet mall locations to the long dead Soviet Empire.
The presidents energy policy tells us that Solar energy continues to be far too difficult and expensive to capture, as it falls upon our heads from the sky. Oil, coal and the ever uber clean Newkleer power thingy, are indeed the cheapest, best alternative energies available to us for the foreseeable future. Or until Mel’s rapture occurs. Again.
So as you can plainly see, President Obama is far better at being Reagan than dead Reagan ever was. Obviously, Reagan sucked and Obama blows…yet Mel Gibson would be far more comfortable if the President were in chains.
Fear not, my fellow citizens of the glorious Homeland! All sides of the pretend political divide will be appeased. Synthetic marijuana is on its way, followed closely by a Sarah Palin book for kids.
May Mel Gibson’s God be with you…because you’re going to require intervention of the divine kind, to get through all of today’s provided links of invaluable information.
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Yes it got busy round these here parts. No it’s not yet Saturday and it’s also not misspelled Wensday either.
Enjoy some rehashed social commentary, be vigilant and if you’re a half-assed decent forward, I hear the Cavs are looking.
Back at asap.
Warren…NSA, NSA…Warren
Warren Buffett says all you need is love. Unconditional love and a hug or three, can take a child into adulthood as a semi-happy, well-adjusted Homelandian. Screw money.
Imagine if the dorks that inhabit the NSA had gotten a few more hugs or ‘I love you’s’ from their fathers. Dare I say, the world, you and I and my haiku creating friends…would not scare the ever-living shit out of the dorks that inhabit the NSA.
Meanwhile, Warren Buffet is at a conference of rich white humans, trying to convince other billionaires to give away large chunks of their ill-gotten wealth to other billionaires like Bill Gates.
Other than Bill and Paul giving us internet porn, I fail to see how this helps me, Warren.
Help me buy more beer Warren. Help me buy better toilet paper, salted butter and some grass-fed, organically grown in the shade coffee picking children…to pick my coffee, then Warren and only then…will I be fulfilled.
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Breathe in the Air
Burnt turtle drifting zone
Gulf of Mexico–
a turtle comes up for air
inside the flames
by Karma Tenzing Wangchuk
BP needs customers and The glorious Department of Defense needs fuel for our advancing armies.
If the glorious Department of Defense uses billions of gallons of fuel per year, then common sense dictates, that the Homeland must keep its supply lines open and BP must burn the turtles and other terror creating wildlife alive.
As the turtle goes, so goes the smart hairless apes.
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