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Conservatives Use Both Sides

July 12, 2010

Conservatives use both sides of their toilet paper.  It’s a conservation thing.  You tax and spend Democrats should try being more conservative like Henry and Sarah.

Sarah conserves nature by killing it conservatively from an airplane.

Nature Saved!

Henry Kissinger has been conserving the Homeland, conservatively, since before there was even a Homeland to conserve!  From Cambodia to Vietnam to South America and possibly Kent State, Henry has been conserving his way of life by killing life…and losing every war he’s ever told a President to illegally start.  Conservative conservation?  Genius!

Conservatives are now turning against the old war in Vietghanistan, that they used to be for, before they were against it, because someone found out Ann Coulter has an Adams Apple.

I don’t understand it…but then again, we’re not supposed too!

Guess I’m off to use both sides of my shade grown, virgin forest made toilet paper…and try and wrap my mind around why?, and how?, storing the Red Hot Chili Peppers in the Arctic Doomsday Vault is going help anything.  I guess Flea and Anthony will just have to trust in the ways of Kissinger and Palin.

Henry and Sarah do work in mysterious, conservative ways…and their records speak for themselves, but there is no way in hell I’m sucking Kissinger’s kiss.

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2 Comments
  1. July 12, 2010 08:41

    Conservatives conserve brain cells by not using them.

    Like

    • lens1 permalink*
      July 12, 2010 08:49

      Today’s conservative is so gosh darned confused! Ann could be a man, Obama is the better Bush, water, power, libraries and stop lights are some type of Communist/Socialist conspiracy against the God and Chuck Norris.

      Brain cells are indeed caught in the middle.

      Thanks Ben.

      Like

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