It Does Take a Rocket Scientist
Another day, another trillion dollars deeper in debt, because Frappuccino’s are good.
Another day, another fake controversy, another victim of color. The USDA is ACORN in Islam-Atheist clothing!!
Another day, another war on you.
Another day and there are no wars against racism. There are no wars against stupid. There are no war criminals in prison, because war criminals only exist elsewhere.
The wars on education, brown-skinned humans, the environment, food, plants we can smoke and common sense…go very well.
The sun splashes all around us, flat surfaces cover every building we breath in…yet there are “only 3” solar panels in the entire Homeland.
Fear splashes all around us and Palin porn is readily available on the Google.
Fear makes corporations billions, Frappuccino’s are good and your neighbor might kill you in your sleep.
Happy Wensday fearful ones…and as per usual, when I say Wensday, I usually mean Wednesday.
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Poets Know It
I was fortunate enough to be in a room filled with white folks, who were held captive by a Latino poet. His words ebbed and flowed like the inbound and outbound pipes of a sewage treatment plant…the shit flows in and better smelling, shit flavored water flows out.
The Latino poet spoke of Frederick Douglass and Obama in the same breath. And the white, progressively progressive Democrats, did gasp in excited unison, as the poets words washed away their complicit guilt…as if Frederick or the President himself, had bathed the gathered immigrants in an explosive orgasm of guilt-free comeuppance.
An apathetic roomful of slaves to the irony.
In news that would only shock a roomful of progressives, Bush used the Constitution as a tampon, to guard against the flow of common sense and freedom…and President Obama went to the store to buy some more. The Washington Post spent two years confirming that what I say is true…but you should go read it anyway.
If you can’t stand not looking at funny cat pictures or forwarding prayer warrior emails for more than 3 minutes…just read the list of companies that have prospered from the wars on roomfuls of gasping, apathetic poetry listeners of the Homeland. Go here, and think of President Eisenhower as you gaze upon the list of freedom.
Moving right along in goose-stepping glory, VP Biden says pulling out of Vietghanistan maaaayyyyy be a little slower than promised. Halliburton’s 2nd-quarter profits are up 83 percent and the white washing poetry of your local news outlet, is ready to be read to its next audience of gasping activists.
and the brown children of Vietghanistan, Iraq, Mexico and Detroit…did cry.
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BP Water Blows
BP water not only sucks, but it blows. It blows up. It explodes like an Obama bedtime story, rife with dead brown children and the possibilities that he took from them.
In a closed society where everybody’s guilty, the only crime is getting caught. In a world of thieves, the only final sin is stupidity.
-Hunter S. Thompson
The biggest threat to America today is not communism. It’s moving America toward a fascist theocracy, and everything that’s happened during the Reagan administration is steering us right down that pipe … When you have a government that prefers a certain moral code derived from a certain religion and that moral code turns into legislation to suit one certain religious point of view, and if that code happens to be very, very right-wing, almost toward Attila the Hun…
-Frank Zappa
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Hillary’s Lies are My Lai’s
Her Lies are Colin's Lai's
Imagine if you will, a small group of idiots, hell-bent on sinking an oil drilling platform and ruining the Gulf of Illegal Mexico, for generations of Sarah Palin voters to come…just to send a message.
If BP had been the Earth Liberation Front, the Homeland would have labeled them terrorists and shocked and awed the environmental hair farmers to death. The surviving hair farmers would have been imprisoned for 99 years at Bagram.
Ponder if you can, Halliburton, Enron, Boeing, Blackwater or the CIA. We know what they do. Now stare at a wall and dwell on what might happen to ACORN, the NAACP, Greenpeace, the ACLU or Veterans for Peace, if they were to do what the powers that be, do.
Pretty simple, no? Colin Powell’s lies are now Hillary’s My Lai’s.
Colin has been lying for the Homeland long before there was even a Homeland. Colin’s My Lai’s are our lies.
Colin was involved with Iran-Contra, the fake incubator babies in Kuwait, his son’s FCC merger approval of AOL and Time/Warner, because Colin owned 13 million in AOL stock.
Colin was involved in arming Saddam before we killed Saddam. Colin hated the Iraq War II, which was better known as Clinton’s kid killing embargo, but later was for it. Colin Powell planned Operation Vernon Lake in Vietnam. Colin is pals with the CIA’s drug/gun running friend, Richard Armitage.
And of course, about 18 of you know that Colin lied about the fake aluminum tubes that caused the fake Iraq War III for Boeing, Halliburton and Blackwater.
The new Colin Powell is just like the old Colin Powell. VietghanIraqistan “drones” on, Iran is next and we still think that the Earth Liberation Front and the ACLU are the enemy?
The Patriot Act and Wall Street know that we do. Message received!
Vodpod videos no longer available.
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Rangel of the Dangle
WikiLeaks is set to attack the Homeland again, because we the citizenry are busy fighting Mexican drug lords and searching for real Sarah Palin porn.
In reality, the Homeland is full of tattooed couch warriors who fear rodents, spiders and multilingual women who stand over 5’7″. When China actually invades and occupies us, we will rollover like Jack Twist in a tent.
The small percentage of those actually engaged in fighting Obama’s Bush wars, are pretty fed up with you flag draped couch patriots…so we get WikiLeaks and Homeland raping agencies of false protectionism.
The wars on us include the well known battles against marijuana, nude beaches and seat belt scofflaws. Logically, this has led us to the battles against farmers who hate chemicals and bloggers who use words.
The FDA and your FBI when not hunting terrorist oil well owners, are now hunting raw foodists and shutting down WordPress word writers.
And not a moment too soon, because I’ve got some breaking news for you!…Starting Monday, the Pentagon is working with Rep. Charles Rangel to restart the draft and they’re reportedly starting with tattooed couch warriors in California, Texas and Arizona, who fear multilingual tall women, rodents and those whose names begin with the letter…
Last Temptation of BP-ObomberHitler
Image and words by Mr. Fish
The oil geyser of freedom has been halted, due to the inability of the citizenry of the Homeland to pay attention. Keep a Vigilant eye open for a new “earth friendly” distraction, coming any day now, that will help distract our attention away from the empire expansion program via the Pentagon, Boeing, Raytheon and Dances With the Stars!
Meanwhile, death by suicide in your U.S. Army is at record highs…because the fat patriots in Alaska, are really busy parading through the streets with their assault rifles over their shoulders, their dicks guns in their hands and their children at their sides….instead of fighting for the empire in Vietghanistan.
Death and miseries are acceptable when they occur in far away lands like Rwanda, Haiti or Detroit. When shit gets uncomfy for more than 100 white patriots of the homeland…shit hits the fan.
When the excrement starts flying, you will hear tales of Teabanger billboards appearing, comparing Obama to Hitler and Lenin, when in fact, Obama is just the better BushReaganator. Cops will begin the random practice of kicking down doors and killing humans due to a skin pigmentation issue, AND…BP executives and her financial backers will sell BP stock just before the killing of the Illegal Gulf of Mexico begins.
Watch for it!
Wow, either shit is getting uncomfortable for some folks or the Homeland is planning on releasing some more Army Anthrax…because a few of you are beginning to figure things out.
“But Vigilant, what are we the concerned few to do?” Well, at this late date, the best advise I can offer is to stock up on plastic sheeting, duct tape and perhaps we should just Wang Chung tonight?
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It’s Rick Steves Fault
Today the world! Tomorrow Florida!
Things just not making any sense these days? Does up seem like down for you, yet down is still down? Do the wars against the CIA’s dead Saddam seem to be dragging on a bit long for you? Can’t get more than 6 progressive Democrats to march around a few blocks to protest Obama the better Bush? Do the Socialist stop lights and their revenue enhancing, red light runner catching cameras stick in your craw?
Blame Rick Steves. What other reasonable explanation can there be?
Since Rick went to Iran, the Homeland…nay, the world!, has gone to shit.
We’ve been reduced to kidnapping nuclear scientists of the Iranian Strain, so that we may learn what type of rocks are used to stone their adulterous women to death. Apparently, Deuteronomy 22:13-21 agrees!
What gives Rick?
Prost!!
I mean come on? Whats next? A busy Vatican covering up it’s child prostitution ring can also find the time to give abused kids Vatican cancer!? Maybe Bristol Palin and Levi will get back together like Joanie and Chachi…much to the Fonz’s dismay? As if.
I think it is entirely possible that Rick is an agent of our super secret forces of the dark side. If attacking Iran ever get’s put back on the table…you’ll know I’m right.
Oh snap!
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