Society of Jesus Apologises, Obama Hires Psycho
I heard the confused progressives of the Twitterverse were waiting for just one more Bush-like action from Obama, before making the switch from a California Merlot, to a Northwest Syrah.
Their sacrifice is as heartwarming as it is overwhelming.
The Society of Jesus!, Oregon Province, after being caught with their pants down one time too many, has asked for forgiveness and offered a $166 million dollar settlement to more than 500 victims of Jesuit sexual abuse. Most of this particular group of survivors are First Alaskan and First American.
You know what “they” say, if at first the genocide doesn’t succeed and you’ve run out of places to hide your sexually deviant Priests…
Because one time is too fucking many.
Thankfully President Obama is a master strategist. He makes no apologies. War is hell, but since his many wars make a shit load of money for those who profit from them…he might as well hire a CIA/Army/torturing psycho Psychologist, to serve on a new task force called ‘Enhancing the Psychological Well-Being of The
Military Family.’
That there’s code for…since Mitchell and Jessen got away with it, we might as well see what kind of wine the progressive democrats will drink next.
It’s a good day to be a Bush drunk progressive, no?
Maybe a Dingo Sent the Anthrax?
Over at Wired, I read an epic and sweeping tale about Bruce Ivans’ love for women’s clothing, kiddie porn and his ability to weaponize anthrax.
Why? Because Noah Shachtman channeled James A. Michener.
That’s why.
Except of course, Bruce couldn’t weaponize anthrax and Noah’s novella left me wanting. How Noah, how!?, was Ralph Steed able to enslave Nyuk Tsin, while John Blackthorne just wanted to love the beautiful Lady Mariko?
I guess it’s all somehow related to Watergate and the Turlock family…the original Teabangers of the Homeland.
If I were forced to write a far shorter version of Noah’s novella, I’d say look harder at the neoconservatives in the Obama Administration. 
Whether or not you can ignore my less than a firm grasp of how exactly, the English language ‘is are’ used in the written form…is entirely up to you.
English is indeed spoken here, but several hundred million of us use the popular Palin version…which was taught to us in school districts that lacked funding and indoor plumbing.
The lack of indoor plumbing and school district funding, can be directly traced to the wars against drugs, foreigners and common sense. Lockheed Martin, Boeing and AT&T get theirs…and we certainly got ours.
Teabangers fear Obama just might be the second coming of a far more liberal Bill Clinton. Progressive Democrats fear that Obama’s love for war, torture, corporate welfare and the screwing around with Miranda…might be taken at face value.
If over 60 percent of polled Homelandians who were polled thought that our Libya action was a good thing, well then…I’d say that there’s a good chance that Texas can prove that the Bible is about 9,000 years shy of a full deck.
Thanks Texas!
Like the FBI agents who were wrong about those Saudi’s taking flight lessons for the CIA, we can probably learn a thing or two by just looking inward and or backwards.
It may be that we just can’t tell our Michener’s from our Shachtman’s, or our Clavell’s from our Rumsfeld’s. Or maybe we just can’t tell our Army Anthrax Attacks for Iraq, from our almost virgin like Watergate.
Or quite possibly, maybe a dingo sent the anthrax.
Portable Cone of Silence Leads to Stuff
This just in from the White House…a portable cone of silence is too easy to remember. So, when President Obama is traveling and considering who to attack next, he must do so from the relative comfort and safety of a ‘Sensitive Compartmented Information Facility’.
In all fairness, President Bush called his portable cone
of silence — Bubba…
The portable cone of silence has led to many Homeland decisions that in hindsight, now seem particularly stupid.
The Iraq invasion and subsequent torture of illegal POW’s at Abu Ghraib, were two out of about 197 such decisions, made in portable cones of silence. Interestingly enough, the secret decisions on where to stash the dangerous GE Mark I reactors throughout the Homeland, were made in an earlier and decidedly gayer version of the cone of silence…at the Bohemian Grove.
It’s like I’m channeling Glenn Beck’s crack team of writers or something.
Fort Huachuca!
Roasted a Bowl with Bin Laden
Fort H! Military intelligence! Oxymoron!
Today’s top key word search at the V-Lens is ‘Afghan-Mujahideen!
The winner of today’s top key word search goes to, the Army’s Intelligence training center at Fort Huachuca! In Arizona!
Why does Arizona still have an internet connection?
I’m guessing the Army is searching the V-Lens for teachable moments, so that those moments can be ignored at the Army’s Intelligence training center at Fort Huachuca. Because teachable CIA/Afghan-Mujahideen moments…only come along like every 3 weeks.
Since the boys at ‘Fort H‘ are searching for information on the Afghan-Mujahideen, I thought this would be the perfect time to introduce y’all to Rep. Norm Dicks. He’s a Democrat. He supports war, torture, the FISA Amendment Act and I think he may have smoked a little hashish with Bin Laden and Rep. Charlie Wilson…back in the day.
Norm doesn’t light up much anymore, but he is quite handy at blowing smoke up the asses of anyone who’ll vote for him.
Anyway…when you guys get done connecting the dots from the Afghan Mujahideen to Dicks, Bin Laden, the CIA and today’s AfPakistanian contractor jobs for profit, check out your buddy Bruce Jessen, who’s probably hiding with a cult in Utah…from his torture connections to Fort H, Spokane and Obama’s Bush.
Ehren Watada got half of it right. What the fuck is wrong with the rest of you?
A Non-Fat Double Tall Mitchell and Jessen
Obama’s Bush Wars are Better
and yet they still die...
Obama’s Bush wars are better because, Democrats haven’t attempted to stop them with anything stronger than Dennis Kucinich.
Common Progressive Democrat sense being what it is, I guess it’s just easier to blame Bush for Obama’s wars. Kucinich and Ralph Nader will also do in a pinch.
The Bush wars, torture and crimes against the pretend laws we the poor folk are shackled by…were enough to impeach pretty much everyone in the Bush Administration, from Cheney on down to the lowest Secret Service cop at the White House front gate.
Buuuuuttt…since those laws only pertain to us, not anyone who makes over 700 million a year, well, continuing to blame Bush is just easier than even Obama thought it would be.
It’s kind of like blaming the torture and murder of Afghan civilians on a rouge Army Stryker unit, instead of the architects Rumsfeld, Yoo or Gates. Fearing radioactive Japanese water, more than the shit you’re forcing your child to drink here in the Homeland, is also like blaming the Bush for Obama.
As if killing our own children with a diabetes epidemic, 5th world educations, Miley Cyrus and BP flavored shrimp weren’t enough…we feel the need to kill children everywhere else too.
Perhaps if we brought our non-rogue Stryker troops home, we could just flood the Middle East with the Disney Channel and dollar store food? It’d be a lot quicker and would create more jobs for Disney and the high fructose corn syrup lobby!
Over a thousand children have been killed in Mexico, because Marijuana makes too much money for our private prison corporations. Over the last four years, over 34,000 humans in Mexico have been killed…in the wars for our private prison corporations.
Two of the Mexican baby killing years belong to Obama. Two years of the wars on Islam belong to Obama. The continuing wars on your education, health scare, unions and those who make less than 700 million per year, also belong to Obama.
We’re all the same in the eye’s of K Street, Wall Street and the Pentagon’s street. From the lowly Teabanger to the Prius driving PBS listener, to the union working middle class…we’re all fodder. So far though, we’re not seen as brown-skinned children who just want to water their fields.
For more of the same, see Hillary threatening Iran to not do what Bush started and what Obama still does. Or else.
For Iraq’s 8th Birthday
This year for Iraq’s birthday, we attacked Libya.
Shitty gifts are our specialty I guess.
A few obvious observations from this years gathering in Portland, Oregon.
First, permits and peace marches go together like Ricker and KUFO. Second, little Beirut has turned into just another outlet for Glenn Beck and Lars Larson.
I forgot my third observation, so lets move on to the fourth… the Hanford Newkular Reservation. Hanford sits just upriver from Portland, but if it were located in Japan, Portland would certainly be paying more attention to it.
Like anti-war marches, the Columbia Generating Station at Hanford has never experienced a radiation release. Like anti-war marches, the Columbia Generating Station has applied for and received all of the permits it needs to do what it does.
Unlike anti-war marches, the Columbia Generating Station is located in the middle of Hanford; one of the most polluted and deadliest places known to humans. Classrooms filled with books and gay school teachers who belong to unions came in a close second.
The lesson taken away from all of this could be that Obama’s wars are awesome, while Bush’s wars were impeachable offenses.
Or…anti-war parades stop us from attacking other nations about as well as the Columbia River is clean.
I don’t know, I suppose observations are a bit like opinions…everybody has one and there’s no draft.
***
The Anchor Babies of Kuwait
Or was that incubator?…Goddammit I can’t keep my Teabanger talking points straight!
Guess I’m in good company.
For those of you that can’t remember last week, let alone why we’re still fighting 25 guys in Vietghanistan, Pakistan, and Iraq — who are pretending to be the CIA’s al Qaeda-Taliban…allow me to refresh your memory.
It’s the nonexistent incubator babies of Kuwait that, you know, never existed.
We stormed into Iraq back in 90-91, because we were as gullible then, as we are now. Bush I, Clinton I, Bush II, Obama I and Clinton II later? We’re still there and we’re looking for more incubator babies in places like North Korea, Libya and Central America. 
If only we’d search for incubator babies in Arkansas, Mississippi or eastern Montana…
For more on why incubators and anchors drive us absolutely stupid, please see the Seattle Times.
Did you click the link Beavis? If you had, you’d see that the AP and the Seattle Times, would like you to know that Japanese power company officials, along with their counterparts in government and the ‘newkular’ industry…might be corrupt liars.
For grins and giggles, try reading that article again. Only this time, replace the words Japanese or Japan with America — Tokyo Electric Power Co. with GE or Enron and use the names Bush, Cheney, Petraeus or Obama, instead of any Japanese human mentioned.
“Where did our money go? ” is apparently the rallying cry for all three sides of our political discourse.
I was going to lay out the differences between the three sides, but at this point…there is none.
The BushBama Depression, your state’s budget crisis, your foreclosure and your union free job, can all be traced to the DoD and the securing of the Homeland from people like you and me.
It’s not the anchor and or incubator babies of anywhere. It is the wars. They’re Obama’s, they’re spreading and Bush is still free to walk and stammer…anywhere and everywhere, except Crawford.
Some good news though! The Foo Fighters are looking to play some gigs…in your garage! Get on it now, before BlackBerry starts seeming to be, much to much like Glee…
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The Vigilant Lens 