Westboro Foo is Us
What do you get when you mix the shallow end of the gene pool with lies, cheap beer, ignorance and hot wings, all served up by big breasted Christian girls in tight t-shirts?
Stand up, look just your left, look back to your right, look up, look down and then sit back down.
Welcome to the Homeland!
It doesn’t matter if you’re Jael Phelps, Rush Limbaugh or Judith Miller…they’re all selling something, and most of it was financed by our collective dissonance. 
For example, Jael believes that God hates gay humans, dead troops, Muslims, non-believers, free-thinkers and the Seattle Seahawks. Not surprisingly…so do Rush and Judith.
The Similac generation has done to us – what we the government cheese generation have done to the baggy pants wearing generation. None of us really care what the other does, as long as we can pretend to be free of conscience, while we catch ‘the news’ that is the Reno air show crash. Again.
Being free of conscience is awesome!
The conscience-free Homeland and our lack of a moral compass, also affords Mexican and Central Americans the opportunity to die by the thousands for our Marijuana addiction, while Palestinians and various other evil doers with a skin color other than in power…die by the millions so that we can be foreclosed on by Bank of America.
It’s like we’re too busy spreading democracy – to see the Monsanto corn for the Petraeus.
Go here, read more before football starts.
On a fun positive note…The Foo Fighters are almost as confusing to the Phelps’, as the Obama girls are confused about dad’s Nobel Peace Prize.
I pity the Westboro, I pity ourselves, but I do not pity the Foo.
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Blame My Alarm Clock
I’ve used the same alarm clock since 1993.
It’s made of cheap plastic – yet full of pretend Chinese anarchy.
Though the plastic may be getting brittle…It still works great.
Obviously – this makes the BushBama Depression my fault.
I should have shopped for a new clock before NAFTA.
I could have shopped for a clock after 9/11.
What about during the Army Anthrax Attacks?
I think the end of Posse Comitatus took care of that.
We know who did it.
It wasn’t Iraq, it wasn’t Mexico, nor was it
Rep. Norm Dicks’ VietAfPakistan.
The Democrats didn’t impeach, because Patriot Acts aren’t cheap.
If China can build a better alarm clock
Who then will arrest Robert Mueller?
A Petraeus? A Holder? Perhaps John Ashcroft?
Hey look! It’s Tom Ridge’s – Alberto Gonzales Chertoff!
Happy almost Diecisiete de Setiembre.
My alarm clock still works great.
Vodpod videos no longer available.Names from the Maize
There was a Beth, a Roger and maybe a Dan.
I think?..therefore I was there.
2nd and 3rd grade in Ellettsville, 4th through 5th near Bloomington — just north of the place that Bobby Knight built.
There were fields of corn, but I don’t remember any dreams. 
Beth, Roger and maybe a Dan.
I wonder if they turned out left wing or right wing?
The maize didn’t have wings, but it did listen well.
Ellettsville and Bloomington…I saw Tommy and my first
Honda Civic there.
Beth, Roger and maybe a Dan. It was 1975 and no one said shit about Vietnam. Now it’s ought eleven, and Elisabeth Hasselbeck doesn’t know shit about Viet-Afpak-Iraq and or Yeminstan.
Bloomington, Ellettsville and marching bands. Names from the maize.
Mellencamp didn’t even know we were there.
Vodpod videos no longer available.I Was a Free Teenage Intern
I’m not exactly sure what “alternative” newspapers, liberal magazines and websites do with their free teenage interns…but I know that it resembles precisely that of what AOL and Huffington do to theirs.
For free!
For the last 322 years or so…journalism has used free teenage interns for everything from fetching grubs, to luring unsuspecting gay politicians — so that we don’t have to be bothered with troublesome news like Fukushima, torture, or Orwell’s fictional-true predictions of today.
9/11 has become just another marketing tool for the Pentagon, while your kids teachers are vilified, healthcare is nullified and red light cameras are about the only thing Tim Eyman can’t stomach. 
Perhaps if Mother Jones and the Huffington Post shared their free teenage interns…we’d get a few more articles written with a fresh and free perspective.
Until that day, we’re just going to have to read important words from the likes of Rick Ungar… words that share importance with the words of Ron Jaworski. With the glaring difference being, I’m certain that the Homeland will never receive a Jaworski-like apology from Ungar.
It’s just easier that way.
Somebody blew up America, Rick, and it wasn’t Iraq. It wasn’t AfPakistan and couldn’t have been Yemen. It also was not Mexico, Iran, Vietnam, Somalia, Grenada or Reagan’s shit stained diaper of an election
for the Contras.
No. Wait. My bad. Reagan’s shit stained diaper of an election for the Contras…was involved.
Free teenage interns know what confused journalists like Rick Ungar do not: Presidents aren’t magical, they just clean up, then cover it up…for each other, Jamie Dimon, God, Blackwater/Xe and country.
Vodpod videos no longer available.Answers are Many Questions are Few
Q: How many Teahadists does it take to soil the nation?
A: About as many Democrats in Congress as required.
Q: If teenage sex-starved vampires are real, can they also be Mormon?
A: Twin Peaks was better.
A: The NSA, the FBI, the Seattle Fusion Center, 45 Border Patrol agents in Port Townsend and Petraeus.
Q: Who just watched me fart on my couch?
Extrapolate, congregate and if you ever bump into Jamie Dimon at a Taco Bell…punch him in his fucking mouth.
Answers are many. Questions are Few.
Vodpod videos no longer available.Rise for Nothing Fall for Everything
The only thing keeping us in our place is you.
The only thing keeping me in place is I.
Us. We. Them. I.
I twit this, you Twitter that.
The FBI does not racially and religiously profile her victims.
The FBI is not the 902nd MI Brigade at Fort Lewis.
But they do know John Towery.
Our troops do what they’re told. Rep. Norm Dicks does — as he’s been bought and sold.
Boeing is not about union labor.
Thousands of us have Top Secret clearances. 
Millions of us have a Secret one.
Yet we know the secret.
Blackwater/Xe, Lockheed Martin and Chertoff’s Napolitano.
Port Angeles? Sequim and Forks? Port Townsend isn’t just for tourist dollars and Wooden Boats.
You can see the war from there…but nobody knows. Because it’s a closely guarded secret.
Today must be 9/11…because Rusmfeld, Feinstein and Paul Wolfowitz are out and about.
You’re either shopping with us, or you’re against us.
Rule of Law Inc.
Your other Left
Most of us follow the law. Most of us pay for the law. The laws are here to be followed.
Unions brought the Teabaggers their five-day work week, soft toilet paper and the shitty Homeland beer that most patriots tend to swill.
Teabaggers are at least as intelligent as any Democrat who’s never thought about Saudi Arabia on any given 9/11.
Veterans for Peace are for peace. They’re also veterans. Many of them still can’t endorse an anti-war action that uses the words fuck, fucking or fuck you. And so they march.
Republicans. They fear sex. They fear gay sex, sex with a women, sex with a priest and sex with themselves. This is why they endorse killing abortion doctors, Muslims and tax breaks for billionaires.
This is why God invented the CIA.
This is also why she invented the FBI, the NSA and Matt Hasselbeck’s awesome shoes.
Now God wants us to rid the earth of terrorists. What, when, or how you decide who to call a terrorist before you blow up their house…depends entirely on your feelings about sex, lies, the Koch Brothers and those dirty poopy words, that can sometimes offend certain veterans in the extremely active…Obama wars against the peace movement, whistle blowers and the brown-skinned children of AfPakiYeminstan.
For more on all of this, please consult either
Glenn Beck or Michael Moore.
And good luck.
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The Vigilant Lens 