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Dicks Turkey Paid for By Bin Laden

July 31, 2009

As we struggle to get passed what beer Obama drank or why we don’t call Blue Dog Democrats, Republicans…we have already forgotten our confusion about calling torture what it was.  Condoned.

We will watch teevee personalities argue about birth certificates, abortion and Sarah Palin…then go back to work with a flag sticker in the window and a yellow ribbon of troop support affixed to the rear of our Saudi, Pentagon and Oil Corporation vehicles of freedom.

We are really quite hilarious, racist and stupid.  I’d laugh some more at you and I, but then I’d run out of room for the Dicks Turkey and his bin Laden.  And Norm thought I was going to forget about him…

Coming soon to the Lens, Turkey as in the country, 9-11, the Taliban!, dirty Russians, Afghanistan, bin Laden’s money, CIA with their Chinese Uighurs and Norm!

Say Boeing, you might want to find another boy.  Norm is becoming a bit too much like a Palin liability.

In the meantime, enjoy some Freeway and Brother Ali.  I think they’re talking to you Norm.


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BeerDétente

July 30, 2009

So the President, the professor and a racial profiling expert…white cop, were having a few beers and wouldn’t ya know it!  Two girls got busy on the Presidential kegs…

Nothing was solved today.  No birth certificates were found, Karl Rove is still free, the fake health care debate rages on and Lou Dobbs is still a fucking idiot.

But everyone got shitfaced and enjoyed the hot lesbian keg action!
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Anti-Terror Plans to be Unveiled

July 29, 2009

The Homelands Secretary Janet Napolitano, is set to reveal the Obama Administrations new anti-terrorism plan.  Seems like a fantastic idea!

The good news?  It keeps terror hunters like John J. Towery II of the Force Protection Service at Fort Lewis Army Base, gainfully employed.  The bad news?  Janet and Mr Obama’s super fancy new terror hunting plan, is the same as the old Bush plan.  Spy on Americans, hunt Mexicans and lie until you’re caught when you will then face no repercussions.

Janet says the Homeland wants to expand a Bush program of training local police to report stolen keys… from a facility that keeps radiological waste, or maybe the keys to Bangor?   The Homeland wants to expand the Bush program of increasing the cooperation between DHS, state, local law enforcement and other federal agencies like the FBI, NSA, the US Army, the USAF and just maybe, the Minute Men.

Screw the Posse Comitatus Act!  Because It may no longer matter.  See Executive Orders 12333, 13284 and get back to me.

Wow, lets recap.  Janet is rolling out the new plan, which is the same as the old plan, with the notable addition of keeping an eye open for stolen keys, more illegal spying on Americans via Fusion Centers and the military, increased hunting of the brown funny talking humans and did I mention the illegal spying on Americans via the military?

While taking in the terrorist hunting view in Seattle, Janet did not ask a baby seagull killing State Patrol Officer about those funny looking, huge ships full of colorful container thingies sailing past her.  She didn’t ask about the large amount of trains flowing by unchecked behind her, or the idiots in Port Angeles.

Among other Constitution fucking measures, Janet says that we are more than ready to capture a bunch of Marijuana at the Peace Arch.  We are also ready to increase citizen testing checkpoints in Washington State terrorist hot-spots like Port Townsend, Irondale
and Forks.

We bid this post and your rights goodbye with this from the Wall Street Journal, Janet Napolitano is expected to outline Wednesday the Obama administration’s domestic approach to preventing terrorist attacks — a strategy that will rely in large measure on refining and expanding initiatives launched under President George W. Bush.

There you have it citizens, Change you can believe in!

You’re guns and Ted Nugent albums are next…
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Meat Meets Road

July 28, 2009

Hot day, bad driving, really hot pavement, lost load of meat parts strewn about I-5?  The driver obviously had the rarely mentioned “vegan” endorsement on his CDL.

*No animals were injured during the making of this story*
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White Congress Fears The Black Man

July 27, 2009

The fake debate about turning our corporate owned health care system, upside down and inside out to resemble some sort of bastardized Canadian system…should be taken with a grain
of CIA yellowcake.

Old white Congress could care less about that distraction.  Many of them are busy hiding affairs or how deep their involvement with the Bush years actually went.  The rest?

They fear the black man in the White House and his birth certificate.

God loves him some racist old pricks don’t he?

Give credit where credit is due.  Turns out, Dave Reichert is one of the most sane Republicans out there.  And that’s not saying much.
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The He Said She Said Curisium vulgara Excrement Post!

July 27, 2009

That’s what it’s all about.  He said she said bullshit.  No shit!

He…Charles Taylor better known as Liberia’s former President, stands accused of war crimes and cannibalism in his ongoing trial at the Hague.  Charles is accused of using child soldiers, rape, murder, the mutilation of thousands and the deaths of over 120,000.  Charles says he’s innocent.  She says, not so much.

No one from the Bush Administration, the DOD, the CIA or any other American Initialisms, are currently on trial at the Hague for war crimes, treason, the deaths of over a million people or even cannibalism.  They say they are innocent, Obama says lets move on, she says hold the hell up!

Homeland Security!  A 700 million dollar research facility for highly infectious pathogens!  Kansas!  Big Tornadoes! GAO says that’s Stupid!  I say no shit!  My neighbor?  She says no shit too!

Anthrax…sent in envelopes…people died.  Sound vaguely familiar?  Probably not.  But, someone will pay.  That someone was Bruce Ivins, a dead government scientist who was  supposedly also a homicidal maniac and a vaccine specialist, who worked with some really nasty deadly stuff.  But not powdered Anthrax.  Seven years ago the media and the FBI said Steven J. Hatfill was the anthrax killer.  He said, eat me.  She said, eat me as well!

MoveOn.org!…Grassroots!…Democrats!…They want the Iraq War to end!…They want health care! Jobs and a clean environment!  They’ve never heard of Afghanistan!  They say that they like organic stuff grown in the shade and Land Rovers!  She says, whatever.

There you have it.  Your Monday post of bs with fun filled links included for the price of admission.  You’re welcome and remember kids, get those Swine Flu vaccines asap and keep in mind that it’s all about the he said she said bullshit.  Obviously.

Can’t Truss It

July 27, 2009

Not for a fucking minute…

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