The 8 Signs of the Terrorist John Elway
After watching John Elway explain to me what a terrorist might look like and or be doing, I was left wanting.
I was left wanting John Elway to be renditioned extraordinarily, to some new President Obama “black site” in Poland, where I will never again have to think of him or the entire state of Colorado.
Fortunately for all of us real patriots, one of my analyst buddies back at Fort Meade sent me something even better.
This top secret Homeland Security training video, reveals for the first time, the methodology to the madness that is the Twink Watching Assessment Terror program. (better known as T.W.A.T. in
Homeland circles)
I tell you what, the TWAT changed me. It’ll change you too. You’ll do a 180, followed by a complete 360 followed yet again by another 180 degrees of change.
Thanks Homeland!
Well That Doesn’t Seem Right?
We is America! How in the name of all that is Santa Claus can we be 13th in the entire world in Human Development? 37th in the world in quality of Healthcare? We’d have to be at Red China levels of truthiness about our Bush bailouts, the Reagan legacy and war.
It just does not make any sense?
Oh my bad, that’s right. We are at Red China levels of truthiness.
We lie about everything. We lie to ourselves, we lie to our neighbor. We lie about how long 9 inches really is and we protect the liars who lie about more than we could even dream of lying about. Santa is a lie I still have not come to terms with, religion, vehicle MPG’s, how tall we are, Columbus Day and Thanksgiving.
Can we at least get rid of Christopher “fucking liar” Columbus Day? We might as well make it the Glorious National Day of George W Bush, if the size of the lies are any indicator.
We torture people to death and blame the tortured. We half impeached a President for receiving a sloppy blow job. We lied about Iraq, Afghanistan, Central America and steroids in baseball.
Iran and their bomb making abilities? How much you wanna bet? And if Iran can make the bomb, how much you wanna bet that technology came from us? Via Turkey.
Lies are woven into the fabric of America. Ask a Lakota. Better yet, ask a Blackwater/Jeppesen Dataplan/Halliburton employee about lies. Of course you’ll need to bribe them with cash or immunity.
Congress? The President? CIA? Capitalism? The offensive coordinator for your Seattle Seahawks? JFK? The bailouts for billionaires? Lying liars and lies.
High fructose corn syrup? Milli Vanilli? Vietnam, Desert Storm, Dick Cheney or the goddamned Food Pyramid?
If I’m lyin…I’m not dyin. I’m American. Deal with it.
Get Your War On
Hey kids! Tired of the last 10 months of birthergate, deathpanelgate, bailoutgate and now the latest…Chicagogate!?
Eight years of pretend wars for Boeing not enough for you?
Well hold on to your easily distracted asses, order up some new yellow ribbons of troop support for your truck…it’s Shortergate time!
Yes the vertically challenged Secretary of Defense Robert Gates, is expected to sign off on Gen. Stanley “War Criminal” McChrystal’s planned surge of victory in Afghanistan!
The general, when not doing one arm push ups and masturbating to yet another CIA torture show, wants to expand the war on the Mujahideen Taliban Al Qaeda Representative Norm Dicks created friends, who incidentally, had nothing to do with 9/11, Iraq or David Letterman’s extorted penis.
Also, keep in mind that Iran has WMD’s hidden in the desert, we have proof of aluminum tubes and word of Iranian Yellow Cake…because the CIA tells us so.
Stop me if you’ve heard this shit before.
If recent history can tell us anything about ourselves, then we know that everything Gates, McChrystal and now President Obama, have to say about Afghanistan, is a lie.
Do not look for things to go well.
Got Olympics?
Few Americans should be surprised that we lost the Olympic bid for Chicago in 2016. Americans should also not be surprised by the reaction of those who have been screaming that President Obama is a Nazi/Communist with Marxist tendencies, fueled by a Socialist agenda.
Oh, he’s black too.
Vodpod videos no longer available.
The applause you see is because Chicago lost out on the Olympic bid. The applause you see is because these people hate America, they hate you and they hate anything or anyone, who might stand in the way of our corporate run government and our corporate run
pretend wars.
They call themselves Americans For Prosperity.
I call them Obama FEMA Camp Fodder.
Those of you somewhat paying attention will note, President Obama has not ended any of the Bush corporate wars. President Obama has not ended the Patriot Act. President Obama has jailed no American war criminals. President Obama continued the Bush bailout of billionaires. President Obama attempted to push through a corporate friendly healthcare bill and has thus far been thwarted by…Democrats.
So ask yourselves, those who are kind of paying attention. What is it exactly that this President has done that is so different from the last? A Vigilant Lens hint…see above photos.
Go read what Rush, Drudge, Beck and others have said today. Then go read this article from Roger Ebert, yes, that Roger Ebert…
Now you know why Rio has the Olympics and why America is nothing as advertised.
News at 11:00 With Jon Stewart
As some of my finest deleted commenters know, I’ve been accusing Democrats of being closeted Republicans for some time now. Except Democrats really suck at being Republicans.
Yes I’ve made fun of them, I’ve called them names like war criminal shielding fuck ups and corporate whores. Hey? If the name fits…
But only a few thousand humans a week have been able to stomach my name calling.
Thankfully, Jon Stewart and his writers got around the stomach issue. Sure it’s a little sanitized and suburbanized for the masses…
But it works.
Now if Comedy Central and Jon Stewart really take on torture, our war criminals and investigate Sibel Edmonds claims? That would be funny, effective and a wonderful commentary on the state of the bought out fourth estate.
Vodpod videos no longer available.
Change Does Not Come Easy for Us
In today’s news of Biblical proportions, our ancestors are now a million years older than we thought.
Scientists also discovered that the male of the species, was slowly starting to figure out that the female of the species, wanted less fighting, grunting and chest beating. This combined with the new technique of caressing, touching and trying to listen to her needs…provided the kick in the ass to get the evolutionary ball rolling and allowed Ben Bridge Jeweler to open their first store.
In related evolutionary news of the male species, The National Newkleer Security Administration wants to build a new generation of nuclear weapons.
The NNSA calls this idea, Complex Modernization. The male species in DOD and the DOE say that there are some other evil male species over there somewhere, and we need new, more modern rocks and sticks to kill them with.
Change does not come easy for us.
An Educated Society?
Spending a trillion dollars on war is preferable to spending a trillion dollars on healthcare.
Those who stand to profit from war, are not the E-2’s and E-3’s doing the killing for your Congresshuman.
Those who stand to profit from healthcare remaining as it has been, are indeed those very same Congresshumans and the industries they represent.
Spending a trillion dollars on war is preferable to spending a trillion dollars on education, alternative energy or even more education.
Educated people want the world to be a better place.
A happy, healthy, educated society…has very little use for those who profit from war.
A happy, healthy, educated society…has no use for those who practice torture and profit from fear.
Let it sink in.
