State of the Union Spoken in English
No matter what you think of tonight’s SOTU Address, I was absolutely ecstatic, that the brush cutting idiot from Texassistan, was nowhere to be heard…thank you Buddy Christ!! thank you!
There were plenty of highlights, a few lows and no matter how hard they tried, the Republicans looked and acted like my 5th grade teacher. My 5th grade teacher was a small-minded child rapist, who hated America, despised humans of color and loathed decent health care…other than that, he was a great golfer.
The rest of the Obama SOTU evening went like this…
- He called Republicans obstructionist retards
- He called Supreme Court justice Sammy Alito a stupid little bitch (nice touch)
- He reminded the majority Democrats that they are the majority and perhaps they should consider using their majority and pass some type of fucking legislation
- Chris Matthews was so taken by Obama’s words, Chris forgot Obama was black
- Chris Matthews was fired tonight and will become the new host of the Tonight Show
- Ended the SOTU by calling the Republicans anal cysts on the asshole of Democracy
Obama wants us to have decent health care, jobs, nuclear power plants, education and a savings account. Corporate owned Congress wants perpetual wars for corporations, stay the course health care, theology instead of biology and Blackwater instead of clean water.
Overall, the best Presidential State of the Union in a while. His predecessor was a lead based, paint chip eating idiot…so keep that
in mind.
Stay tuned tomorrow when you’ll read the Lens asking…Can we save a trillion dollars a year by ending the fake wars on brown humans? Can we save lives and another trillion dollars by extraordinarily renditioning the entire former Bush Administration to Waziristan?
Gang Bang a Gong
Get it on?
The reason most Americans are not outraged by the criminal douchebaggery running their nation, is because we are a nation filled with…gang-banging douchebags.
I’m not disparaging the gun-toting, kid killing, old-fashioned Crips and Bloods types. I’m disparaging the older, whiter, better financed, kid killing gang types.
The worst of these honky infested gangs go by the street names of Democrats, Republicans and their abbreviated gang-banging buddies of the Homeland known as the CIA, FBI, NSA, DEA, DOJ, NRA and the U.S. Chamber of Commerce.
Don’t get me wrong my fellow Homelandian’s, I’m no Randy Weaver, I’m just paying attention to the details.
And within the details, lies the devil. So if the devil is in the details, and in the details is where we will find the lies, the crimes and the cover-ups…then a detailing I shall go!
Just below, you’ll find today’s list of details that point towards ugly conclusions and things that might make one think. In this country, that means most of my readers will be thinking about a Miley Cyrus
pole dance…
- The Iraq Anthrax Attacks against Congress and America? Think sanctioned gangs of the Homeland.
- The Illegal Spying on You, Me, Allah and kids that go to college? Think sanctioned gangs of the Homeland.
- Our GITMO Policy of Torture and Executions by your Pentagon? Guess which other sanctioned gangs of the Homeland are involved?
Hey, don’t sweat it Homelandian’s. Details are only an issue if Fox News says so.
As Rahm Emanuel likes to say…get it on! Go gangbang a fucking
liberal gong!
Vodpod videos no longer available.
Questions of the Sheeple
Can’t quite put my finger on it. Boeing and Blackwater are doing great!! Why aren’t the rest of us?
Interesting…
On to the questions of the sheeple.
“So what you’re saying Lens, is that our priorities are a bit skewed? We say we value certain things, yet our actions and funding say otherwise? ”
“But what about my yellow ribbons on my car? What of the news on my teevee? My Congressman says gays are evil, Obama is black, liberal…liberal and black, yet nothing seems much different from when Bush was cuttin’ brush in Crawford?”
“Oh I see. You mean the liberal media bias is to blame, along with Muslims, Mexicans and the blacks?”
“Helicopters are cool? Congress meets in a really big White building? Built by slave what?”
I give the fuck up.
Accidents Happen
Accident Number One.
Art lovers have no sense of balance. I can say this with complete metaphysical certitude.
Accident Number Two
Afghanistan is to Pakistan as Iraq is to Texas. These accidents were also caused by clumsy art lovers who have no sense of balance. The art lovers in the Pentagon and Raytheonblackwaterboeingthon, tripped and ripped the Middle East Picasso almost ten years ago. While rumors persist, no firm date is known to exist in fixing this rip.
Accident Number Three
National Parks can has importanze. According to Macho Man Randy Savage, studies are underway, trends are trending and most would agree, that the teaming up of Congress, Parks and the Department of Energy, does indeed make three…and will only lead to someplace being invaded, conquered and occupied.
Be that as it may, this publicly funded cage match for the Intercontinental Belt of public fund-age, will get underway on pay per view this Valentines Day! The winner takes all and gets to declare their Manhattan Project site, worthy of becoming a National Park.
In keeping with the Manhattan Project and its secretive ways of yesteryear, how any of this pertains to clumsy art lovers who lack balance, beats the shit out of me.
OOoooooh Yeaaaaahhh!!
Good News Bad News
The good news? Venezuela is sitting on top of the largest deposit of oil reserves known to still exist. That’s more than twice the oil sitting under the Bush family reserves in Saudi Arabia.
The bad news? Venezuela is sitting on top of the largest deposit of oil reserves known to still exist.
My apologies go out ahead of time to the people of Venezuela…we are finalizing our transactions in the Middle East, and we will be heading your way soon.
Sorry about that.
What Jay Leno Needs
Tempo. Find your tempo Jay, then push it, push it out like Conan!
Or just go away.
Back at it soon…Be Vigilant.
SCOTUS Phuktus
Oh come on people! How many of you actually thought things like Democracy and apple pie pragmatism still occurred in this, our corporate nation?
So the Supreme Court of the United States phuktus fucked us. You were expecting Justice Scalia to hang around afterwords and hold you? Get a life Nancy, this is just business.
Sure corporations have gotten around campaign-finance just fine before yesterday’s ruling. But now, now my fellow Homelandians, they’ve gone and said it “out loud” and made election buying and politician purchasing…perfectly normal, perfectly natural and perfectly perfect!
Go here for some in-depth reportage on the matter. Stay here for far shallower reportage.
If life were actually like a James Cameron film, many Americans would now be experiencing that rare moment of clarity that only occurs in James’ movies, where everyone finally gets it. The collective aha! moment, has just hit Tea Baggers, end of lifers, Trig Palin and 72% of the sleepy mainstream Republican types, better known as Democrats.
As an added bonus to your aha! moment, Kevin Costner will appear shortly with some big blue aliens to save us from ourselves.
Cue music.
Long story shortened for our shortened attention spans, the corporate hand job handed out by Antonin Scalia and his oiled up friends, is not a new phenomenon. The sudden surge in overly concerned and outraged teevee watchers to the SCOTUS Phuktus ruling, is admirable, but much too late.
We had our chances to make things better, before Bush started the Christian Jihad on Democracy and brown-skinned humans. There was time, before his Patriot Acts and his torture. WTO in Clinton’s day, was not about breaking windows, it was about your job and trying to keep the corporate take over from occurring.
There are many examples and moments in time, when we had our shot. We can’t get those moments back.
We failed. All of us. From the Tea Baggers to the Black Blocers. This is the change, get used to it.
So remember Homelandians, the sweat equity and toil of slaves and illegal Chinese immigrants, followed later by Guatemalans, built America. The Corporatists just buried them as they died.
Happy Friday everybody! I’m spending the day looking for a corporate sponsor. The Vigilant Lens, brought to you by Vagisil and Boeing!
