Patriot Lack
As July looms closer, the patriots of the Homeland are preparing to blow the fingers from the hands of their patriotic 8 year-old offspring. In some cases, a few 3 rd cousins may also lose an eye, tooth and or a foot of intestine.
But that’s okay, this nation wasn’t built by brain surgeons, it was stolen from the Mexicans and Indians by illegal immigrants…then refurbished with slave labor. 
You can be certain that Sherman Alexie and Carlos Mencia are preparing the next jihad against us.
Of course the first people jihad may not even have to bother. Between Congress, the Koch brothers and Saturday’s rapture…this place will be pretty empty.
So ‘when‘ the new four-year Patriot Act extension occurs, don’t sweat it. The cult members will be gone and the rest of us will adapt to the casinos and tacos de lengua…just fine thank you.
Hasta mañana and keep your concrete saws handy!
Memorial Day Haiku
Karma Tenzing Wangchuk
Beyond the Rapture
Great news! Since the rapture is coming like any day now!, this should free up plenty of space at the Soundgarden show at ‘da Gorge’ in July!
I’ve got my tickets and hopefully, I won’t be the only old guy in Doc Marten’s and shorts?
One can only pray.
In other Vlens news…stay tuned for another haiku by Karma Tenzing Wangchuk and more photos of the zombies in Olympia.
Food Poisoning WMD
I’ve almost made it through another bout of eating a death inducing sandwich at a tourist trap, in a tourist town, which I suppose is the reason the tourists come.
It was just a lowly BLT, fairly safe on the FDA’s food consumption chart of all things safe. Of course there was the angry bacon and the angrier mayonnaise that the pork product had found itself lying in, just before it all found itself inside of me.
I prefer not to take into account the fact that the human who made the BLT, probably hates tourists worse than I do…but at least I wash my hands and try not to sneeze on their food.
The segregated recyclable containers and I will return soon…in the form of an angrier pretend vegan or something.
Be Vigilant and skip the pork and mayonnaise.
Zombies in Olympia
OLYMPIA— Zombies, you either love em’ or you don’t. Politicians are a lot like zombies, although most politicians can run faster.
The politicians in Olympia, have been busy slashing the funding of useless programs like education, health care and humans on disability. 
Boeing’s profits are up and the zombies will soon be well fed, because the poor folks of Washington State will be much easier to catch, due to untreated illnesses and the lack of a decent education that teaches people to…you know…run from zombies and such.
Good times in Oly today…zombies looking for the brains of brainless politicians and the Monster Slash dance happened too!
Stay tuned for a slide show and the sounds of zombies…as soon as I figure out some new software.
In the meantime, you can read more about the Monster Mash Budget Slash…right here. For even more Olympia zombie news and events, try hanging out over at Undead Olympia, which I’ve conveniently linked for your brains…right here.
Be Vigilant and check your brain.
Your Apple is Exposing You to Radiation
iPods and airplane rides are exposing you to healthy amounts of harmless radiation…aaaaannnnd your momma dresses you funny.
For news you can use…please head on over to People Magazine and check out what Miley was wearing while shopping at the Sherman Oaks Whole Foods!
For the rest of us, there’s still Fukushima.
Between Donald Trump, bin Laden and the Royal wedding…we’re still getting irradiated by GE’s reactor design and I don’t think Diane Sawyer knows about it?
I get that nuclear meltdowns happen all the time, but shouldn’t at least one of us call Diane and warn her?
Patterns are like the lead poisoned children of the Silver Valley in Idaho. Patterns keep happening, (see George Nethercutt) we keep ignoring them and humans keep drinking the water in Kellogg, Idaho. These patterns lead to paths that should be warning us about Congress, the never-ending wars and Texas…but then, we’ve never been too good at staying on track, paths and or focused for more than 25 minutes or so.
This explains how Texas can have Formula One Racing but not teachers. I think it also explains why the Republican-controlled House Armed Services Committee, has revived the 700 billion dollar F-35 extra engine. Because GE said so.
But then again, 25 minutes have just about come and gone, so who the fuck knows?
If you need me, I’ll be over at People Magazine checking out Miley’s bags.
Focus people!
A Vision Quest Should Have Vision
When finding one’s self on a vision quest, there aren’t many rules to adhere to. If there were one really important rule and or suggested practice to consider…it might be that your vision quest should probably contain some vision.
Being that the vision quest in question, is that of Geroge Nethercutt, you can guess how deep this quest for vision will go. 
Propaganda and knowledge go hand in hand. This is why Nethercutt continues to spread his knowledge propaganda via The Inlander. Because knowledge is dangerous when it’s not paid for by advertisers.
Instead of actually quoting the liar Nethercutt, why don’t you just go read it for yourselves…right here.
The difference between a paid-for editorial at the Teabagging Spokesman Review and a paid-for editorial at Spokane’s alternative newspaper, known simply as The Inlander…is about as close as the distance between Obama’s Bush and Bush’s Nethercutt.
For those of you who went to Gonzaga Prep…that translates into there is no difference.
Bush’s wars and torture for Mitchell and Jessen are identical to Obama’s wars and torture for the Daily Kos and MoveOn.org. Bush was a babbling idiot, Obama is not. Bush was white and Obama is not…and therein we have the real problem for the lying Nethercutt and his Teabagging cult followers.
Vision quest’s really should have something resembling vision in them. Alternative newspapers should really have something resembling alternatives in them.
FYI for any of you budding Nethercutt-like journalists out there…The Inlander is hiring a NEWS REPORTER and they don’t want no fancy wordsmiths who can call a lying Nethercutt…a lying Nethercutt.
Check it out right here!. No visionaries need apply!
Editorializing Nethercutt’s can’t change reality…but they do pay the bills and further confuse the confused.
In case you were wondering, Spokane is still a bit like Louden Swain and strangely enough…my Indian name is also Swift Elk.
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The Vigilant Lens 