The Triple Tall, Nonfat, Brown Sugar Global Macchiato of Change
Thank you sir! May I have another?
Sitting in never-moving traffic just south of Seattle, I decided to read about global climate death for about the 35th time. Why? Probably because my truck doesn’t run on the solar-powered highway system of the Homeland. I think it actually runs on jobs created for the over-taxed oil industry. Which if I’ve been hearing my news from Al Roker correctly — this is also a problem for Walmart?
Apparently, by the time our offspring have adapted to the GMO laden foodstuffs we’ve been feeding them in grade school since 1995…charter schools won’t have any kids left on dry ground to steal public funding from anyway.
Hey look at that! I’ve moved just over 3ft closer to Seattle…which if my 5th grade teacher in Indiana had been correct, we’d now be about a meter further along the road to communism than never before.
If there was a God, she’d probably allow WSU to beat Udub in the Apple Cup. If there were a higher power, it probably never would have allowed us to build places like Hanford, Leavenworth, or Allah forbid…Asotin.
My sugary infused milk with juuuuussst a hint of coffee is now gone. I must have moved at least another meter closer to my doom. Hell, by the time I get to where I’m going, it’ll be time to turn around and drive slowly back to the doom I came from…one communist meter at a time.
Related articles
Wango Zee Couleeo
As the wild salmon swam past Grand Coulee Dam…
Zee fish were reminded that Ted Nugent is full of shit.
***
Related articles
- Ted Nugent Death / Jail Watch, Day One (wonkette.com)
Arrested Envelopment
You can’t arrest an idea
But you can feed it a Twinkie
You can’t kill the revolution!
But you can unionize the Twinkie maker
You can’t pay a Walmart employee livable wages
But you can get them to kill a shoplifter
Arrested Envelopment
Me thinks they’ve got us surrounded
Related articles
Writer for the Wisher
It’s not so much that I write like you
oh famous pusher of words
manufacturer of impact
employer of many an editor
It’s more that you write like me
oh famous weaver of story
sayer for the sayless
visionary to the mute
I know that I’m right
And I know that you’ll write
oh famous composer to the poser in me
lyrical savant
writer for the wisher…
Related articles
- Explore your writing persona (bottledworder.wordpress.com)
Hot Air Moved
Loaded boxes filled with life
Unload them at your new location,
Empty boxes once filled with life.
Steampunk Terror
The TSA has fondled us
groped our kids
fondled your grandma
stole many a laptop
swiped a camera here and a nice shirt there
attacked cancer patients
sniffed our underwear
grabbed your crotch – grabbed my crotch – grabbed her crotch
stroked this
stroked that
stripped searched us
x-rayed us to an x-rating
until now…they’re arresting steampunk watch wearers as might be terrorists
Well, at least they’ve never racially profiled Chuck Norris.
Try the Fish
When the Seattle Times isn’t grifting for the next Dino Rossi that comes along…its busy reporting to us about expensive fish. For more on the expensive fish, see this article called: The extraordinary effort to save sockeye salmon.
For more on where $2 billion per week goes, see this article.
For more on where our moral compass points, look towards Spokane — and try this article.
So what have we learned about expensive fish?
Lets see, 20 years, hard work — check.
Fish are a little happier — check.
$40 million spent! In 20 years! — check.
Going on 12 years of endless war — check.
Wars can be pricey, but probably not as pricey as liberal fish — check.
The Pentagon spent more than $17 Billion on fuel in 2011 — check.
If I factor in about 11 more years on JUST fuel…plus this, that, and a few useless F-22’s,
and then multiply the Homeland Security budget with Petraeus’ Dockers fund…add the torture,
subtract the death, extrapolate for Lockheed, ignore Israel and divide by Iran…
then all that I’m left with is $9,000 dollars per fish for 20 years?
Hey! These fascist swimming fish are murdering our future!
Check.
The Vigilant Lens 