But I’m on strike, so you will not hear about it from me. Instead, why not enjoy some music, have a cup of shade grown, human labor free coffee and keep in mind…that in the Homeland, any idiot can aspire to run it. Ask Sarah, it’ll tell you.
As always, watch out for Riff Raff wearing high heels. Riff Raff it’s good for a laugh. Riff Raff, laugh yourself in half.
Back at soon. Be vigilant.
The Homeland is a glorious island that is steeped in history, sex, drugs and rock- n-roll fantasy.
“Tattoo! Fetch me something refreshing and kindly remove your little hands from your pants.”
Mr. Rourke is a pimp who sells fantasy for profit. Mr. Obama, the Pentagon and your corporations of the glorious Homeland, are the freeloading Tattoo, who carry out the fantasies that we buy. Yes, they also have freaky little hands that are frequently shoved down someone else’s pants… because fondling ones self is a sin.
Fantasy was hard to sell at first, but slavery and the industrial revolution helped. Now we are left with war crimes, big media propaganda and our racist ways of days never really gone by.
Happy Friday my dear guests…welcome to Fantasy Island!
The question of the day went to Helen. The answer of the day was in the form of a Bushism by Obama. “It’s 9/11, Helen. For fucks sakes lady, get with the program!”
For the penetration portion of the day, we must look to General Petraeus. David knows all aboutass kissing and penetration. So who ya gonna call when you need some world-wide penetration and death? Bush’s Tenet? Hell no, you call Obama’s Petraeus!
The Homeland is always looking to secretly penetrate and destroy some poor, backwards nation that is lacking in Starbucks, Walmarts and massive U.S. embassies. Iraq and Afghanistan are in phase 1 of our 25 year/13 phase plan.
Iran, North Korea and Haiti? You’re next up in our new and improved theory of falling dominoes. You must not fall to the commie pinko Marxists and their shorter work week. You dominoes must not submit to the socialistic nightmare that is decent affordable health care and free education. We will not allow it.
Crimes are easy to pin on marijuana smokers, shoplifters and illegal immigrants of the Spanish-speaking persuasion. Crimes are not so easy to pin on multinational terrorist organizations like BP, Blackwater or Triple Canopy.
Why is smoking pot worse than invading Iraq for Halliburton or torturing POW’s to death for the CIA? Why are the Halliburton wars more important than education or jobs? Why’d you leave the keys up on the table?
Answer correctly without saying 9/11 and you just might find yourself at Bagram, hanging from the ceiling in a cell…hoping for some change.
Some smart folks say that random genetic drift is just as important to evolution as natural selection is to nuclear power.
I say no shit.
Obviously, our random genetic drift has placed us humans, stoned ass drunk and behind the wheel of life, as we yet again cross the yellow lines of evolution and hurl ourselves into the oncoming mini van that is our future. Of course our future the mini van is loaded with four beautiful kids and their adoring parents, who chose not to wear their restrictive seat belts, because they don’t want big government interfering in their lives…and seat belts tend to remind them of socialism run amok.
C’est la vie.
Something is in the air and I think it’s toxic. “My girls” at Pi Beta Phi in Ohio, are living and breathing examples of the toxicity available to us in the air of the Homeland and proof positive of our random genetic drift! Making your poorly equipped parents proud, went the same way our common sense did about 40 years ago. Naturally, it got selected.
Random genetic drift tells us why natural selection is killing us off. It explains why wars are fought, outrage is absent and presidents lie.
Follow the money, follow the power and follow the powerless. When you’re finished, stop following shit around and stop listening to your retarded genes.
The Fuhrer over gay humans serving openly in the military has almost reached its zenith. Its almost come to an end and is awfully close to reaching its predictable, weak climax of wasted time, energy and precious bodily fluids.
Anyone who has served in the military knows that the branches are full of gayness. There’s lots of shining of objects, medals and guns, with more than enough time spent in intimate “bonding” situations with buddies.
Most of the zero’s are gay, half of the E-7′s and above are gay and as all veterans of the real branches know…the Navy and Coast Guard are entirely made up of gay humans.
This is my weapon, this is my gun, ask General Hayden and you’ll have some fun!
But seriously folks, the don’t ask don’t tell controversy is a made up one. Most of the Homelands of the world have always fallen victim to the seduction of the gayness. Christians and Muslims hate em with a kinky passion…and apparently, global warming, BP and the terrorists at Hanford will not be blamed for killing us. Gayness and the placement of precious bodily fluids will conveniently shoulder
all of the blame.
The DADT controversy of precious bodily fluids, keeps us busy with how, where and with whom those bodily fluids are shared. If we were as concerned about famine, education, our war criminals and Arizona’s water supply…as we are about precious bodily fluids and WTF really happened on Lost, I think we’d be a happier, guilt free Homeland.
The CIA has been operated from the rear for decades. General Michael Hayden can tell us a thing or two about that, but he’d have to have someone kill us after he was through. The CIA employs their weapons of gayness any chance they get. Wonder why they’re in everybody’s business, killing, peeking, probing and spying? Wonder no more.
It’s not really about where “we” put our precious bodily fluids…it’s all about where the powerful put theirs. Nancy.
At the site of the worlds largest solar leak, missed opportunity knocked, animals walked by and no oysters died.
Meanwhile MoveOn.orger’s are getting restless, Guantanamo is taking more evil doing al TaliQaedaban and Congressman Grayson still thinks some of us care how much fake wars cost.
Come on Congressman, there’s Mexicans here for Christs sakes!
Atoms do not the machine make odious…it’s the way the atoms are put together that fuck it all up.
Kevin Costner saved baseball and golf. Kevin has also saved the Lakotah, Maid Marian, the Postal Service, water and the tall blue alien Lakotah in Avatar. I know this, because I watched him do it on the big screen for about 16 dollars per saving.
Kevin is again ready to save us from ourselves. This time he will be using his awesome water cleaning machine, which will cost just a bit more than an Avatar ticket and a six-dollar bag of GMO laden popcorn.
So let me see if I’m understanding this correctly. BP, the Pentagon, Congress and Blackwater can rape, murder and pillage their way across the Gulf of Mexico or anywhere else they desire, because we condone it with our driving habits and shopping preferences? Then all we get in return is earth ending corporate disasters, wars for Boeing profit, the Nature Conservancy and Enronesque political pimps like Dino Rossi?
And Kevin Costner is the only human who can save us?
I don’t know who drew up that business plan/screenplay, but
it’s fabulous!!
West Point, the President…words! We are evidently a peace-loving nation that abhors war?
Get the fuck outta here!
In other news, there are no criminals at AIG, because the glorious Department of Justice says so…marijuana is still more evil than any Texas school district and we will wipe the Taliban off the face of the earth, because they’re in no way related to 9/11 and they refuse to share in their opium profits.
Thank you. May God bless you. And may God bless the United States of America…and stuff.
It’s official. Obama is indeed better at everything than Bush. The empire is expanding, while the really expensive empire ending wars on anything that makes Boeing money…goes swimmingly. Thanks for asking!
The death of the Gulf of Mexico and Florida is well underway. Maybe if Obama established a commission to look into the rumored death of the Gulf and Florida…then we’d know for sure who runs the Homeland.
Hey look at that! Obama did establish a commission to look into the rumored death of the Gulf. And Florida. Via BP. Que sorpresa!!
Perhaps the president could establish several commissions to establish known facts where none are wanted, because we’re already ignoring them. Think war criminals, fake wars, bailouts, torture…the wars on affordable housing and POW’s with fewer rights than a stray dog in your neighborhood pound.
You don’t need racists Teabangers threatening to hang the black man in their White House, to tell you something is terribly wrong with the Homeland. That is, unless you’re a MoveOn.org member in good blind faith standing. Then of course, everything is just fine. Blame a Republican, go about your Democratic fund-raising and don’t forget to plan for yet another lovely summer vacation.
