Suffering Canaries
We are suffering canaries who have the ability to unlock our cages and leave the coal mine. But we will not.
I don’t know about you, but I like my cage. A bit of fresh newspaper, beer and a Slim Jim…and I’m as happy as a Young Republican!
Today’s tell tale signs of canary death.
Corn Syrup. Bad for you to begin with. Try our new mercury flavor!
Blowfish Testicles. Or, canaries proving Darwin’s theory.
The NSA. Listening to you and the 9/11 hijackers. Michael Hayden…just a data mining coal mining canary user.
German Shepard Love. Oregon couple who enjoyed their dog, way too much. No word yet from the Portland mayor haters.
Climate Change. Too late canaries!
Well that was a downer of a post for hump day.
Veggies too Hot for NBC
So PETA submitted an ad for the Super Bowl! that contains women and veggies. I liked it much better than the last 20 years or so of Super Bowl! ads. NBC has said no way.
Seems our nation is being run into the ground by white dorks in suits (see The Great Depression of 08-09). These dorks will push endless amounts of free flowing beer and partying dogs on us, but attractive women and vegetables? Much too scary.
Besides, no one will be watching this years Super Bowl. The Arizona Cardinals? Please…NBC needs all the women in underwear and vegetables they can get.
Enjoy the scary ad below.
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Monty Python, Smarter than Edgar Bronfman Jr.
Monty Python still gets it. Greedy humans like Edgar Bronfman and corporations like the Warner Music Group, Sony BMG, the RIAA and the MPAA…do not. Kind of like any fucktard connected to Fox News.
No, Edgar and friends do not get it. This is why YouTube videos and the sound on Austin Powers movie clips, get disabled. This happens because Warner Music and friends own the world and they could give a shit. This also happens because there are no dirty liberals running the major media/music outlets. They’re all too busy housing terrorists and Marxists, while worshiping at the alter of John Stewart.
As per usual, it takes someone or something out of the ordinary, to change things. Enter Monty Python, again. These guys have been making fun of the establishment for a long, long, long, long time. They are old, smart, still funny and they get it. If I were into 81 year old funny men…
Anyway, Monty Python had opened up their videos on YouTube. You can post them anywhere, sleep with them, whatever. All they asked in return was that we consider buying a few of them. And it worked. Python DVD sales at Amazon? Up 23,000%. Go here to read more.
Now go buy a Monty Python DVD and feed your Marxist in the back bedroom. He’s hungry.
That’s What She Said
I take it all back. TV is awesome and worth the price of admission. I’m certain that the short video below, may have induced some eye bulging in a few folks. They would be the pretend God fearing folks…who for some reason, know what fisting is.
Enjoy your Sunday!
Oops, They’re Angry at Britney Again
The Parents Television Council has issued an emergency alert for stupid parents. They want radio stations to stop playing Britney’s “If U Seek Amy” song, as they fear it’s just not decent. Because if you have nothing but time on your hands and you say “if u seek Amy” fast enough…it sounds like…are you sitting down…Fuck me.
There you go. That was it. Fuck me. Fuck….me. Fuck, fuck, fuck me. Or, if you seek Amy. F-U-C-K me. Get it? Heavy, heavy sigh…
I’ll try to be gentle on you retards at the Parents Television Council. (my apologies to you real retards out there) First, change your name, it’s stupid. Second, if your children are allowed to watch so much TeeVee that they might witness, or hear something from Britney on the radio…you’ve already failed. Third, she has yet to make a video for the song. Fourth, if you believe anything that this group says or possibly belong to this group… fuck you and move to Alaska.
Now for some real indecent news. Look what happens when you shell a UN school, designated as a shelter, in Gaza. Palestinian school children just don’t hold up well against white phosphorous and other munitions. Wonder if those kids would hold up better against a Britney Spears song? Go here for a slide show.
Get in touch with The Parents Television Council and tell them…
If U seek Amy.
Note to Self, Pay Storage Unit Bill
Take it from Ronald Struve of Spokane. When stockpiling weapons of mass destruction for use against your government, always, ALWAYS, pay your storage unit bill. Remember guys, the devil is in the details. You must pay attention to the details. Call me crazy, but I thought that shit like, you know, keeping your weapons storage unit bill in good standing was, important?
Anyway, so Ronald had himself a nice little cache of Charlton Heston approved weapons. Fun stuff like C-4 explosives, machine guns, ammo, grenades, rockets, gun powder, fuses, mortar charges and every case of pork patty MRE’s from the 1980’s, known to still exist. This stash of weapons and pork, was found in Bellevue and Spokane. The ATF is not ready to talk, but word has it…Ronald was angry and had some “literature.”
The real story here, is what the hell happened to the Border Patrol and our glorious Homeland Security?
Correct me if I’m wrong Agent Bermudez, but are not Bellevue and Spokane located within the magical 100 mile Terrorist and Weapons Interdiction Territory? (better known as TWIT, to our local law enforcement agencies) So what’s up Blaine Sector? Has your hunting of Mexicans via bus boarding, ferry watching, parking lot/school/church/store surveillance, coupled with those frequent trips to state parks and the constant bathroom breaks, taken you away from finding real terrorists like, oh I don’t know… the gavacho Ronald Struve?
I think we all know that answer, as does new Homeland Security Secretary, Janet Napolitano. Good luck with that review Janet, you’re department is a fucking mess.
The good news is that most of our home grown terrorist types, usually forget to pay their storage unit bills. The bad news? Homeland Security is still on the job.
Change has Arrived
Change is supposed to start today. This change will lead to hope, hope will lead to action, action will lead to hope.
This is what we expect.
Hallelujah…
