Attention Homeland Security
Here’s another helpful hint from yours truly…
Instead of having your Border Patrol agents board buses or spy on churches, schools and parks for Mexicans evil doers, why not have them just watch YouTube? I mean really, you have not and will not, catch any terrorists in Forks, Washington.
So check it out Homeland. In the interest of national security, I’ve gone and “found” another insane human, who just threatened President Obama. Perhaps you could send in a few highly trained agents, to interrogate this threat? He appeared dangerously agitated and was unable to hide his hatred for America and our President. He seems to be a bigger threat than Mexicans on buses, wouldn’t you agree Janet?
Of course you do.
Best Performance for an Award Acceptance
Goes to…Mickey Rourke, for his role in The Wrestler. Sure it’s “just” a Spirit Award, but Mikey’s acceptance speech will indeed, be better than anything you will see at the Oscars.
Bad News?
Ken Griffey Jr. is back, China is our slave labor ally, the economy is fixed and Obama will have our wars wrapped up in a few days. Come on, what bad news?
So…what’cha want?
Vodpod videos no longer available.
Brian Baird Cares
Congressman Brian Baird has taken yet another trip, to inform us of the death and destruction of brown people.
Representative Baird spoke these powerful words, “The amount of physical destruction and the depth of human suffering here is staggering” said Baird, “Entire neighborhoods have been destroyed, schools completely leveled, fundamental needs such as water, sewer, and electricity facilities have been hit and immobilized. Relief agencies, themselves, have been heavily damaged. The personal stories of children being killed in their homes or schools; of entire families wiped out, and relief workers prevented from evacuating the wounded are heart wrenching. What went on here? And what is continuing to go on, is shocking and troubling beyond words.”
The Congressman continues, “It’s hard for anyone in our country to imagine how it must feel to have a sick child who needs urgent care or is receiving chemotherapy or dialysis, then to be forced to take a needlessly lengthy route, walk rather than drive, and wait in lines as long as two hours simply to get to the hospital. As a health care professional myself, I found this profoundly troubling – no, actually it’s beyond that, it is outrageous.”
You can read more about Brian’s trip, right here.
Baird is talking about Gaza. I find no fault in his outrage and his desire to help. We should be helping the people of Gaza.
I have to wonder though, if Brian’s conscience is nagging at him. Will he be calling for another surge? Read Baird’s words again. Remind you of any other place on the planet? One could use Brian’s own words to describe Iraq, word for fucking word.
The Palestinians do not need confused, grandstanding American politicians, who bring nothing to the table. Neither did the Iraqis.
What’s next Congressman? Will you assist Halliburton in gaining a no-bid contract for the rebuilding of Gaza? Perhaps send in Xe, formerly known as Blackwater Worldwide, to provide their own brand of “special” security?
With “friends” like you Congressman…
What the Hell?
I’m gone for two days and look what happens.
Back at it soon…
Hair Farmer Highway
Watch out I-5, I’ve got a gig to get to. This means “old” and grungey hair farmer music, will be pouring out of my earth warming, troop supporting vehicle.
Photos will be taken, beer will be consumed, seasons roll on by…
Anyway…back in a few days.
Be vigilant.
Peterson AFB to be Privatized
President Obama will fly to Peterson AFB today to break the news to Colonel Jay Raymond, The Space Command is no more, here’s your Article 15 and have a fine Air Force day. Halliburton and Boeing will take it from here…
This unexpected base closure is due to racist retirees, who were never able to promote past E-4. A small group of these angry retirees were shopping at the BX for condoms and beef jerky, when they were confronted by a photo of President Obama at the entrance to the building.
You see, it’s President’s Day and no self respecting, racist retired E-4, can be expected to look at a picture of a black man, next to photos of Lincoln and Washington. Just because Clinton and Bush were proudly displayed on President’s Days past…is no reason to get all uppity.
So here’s to you Col. Jay Raymond, Space Command is a fitting title for your backwoods, slow witted, condom buying, E-4 retiree, base of seclusion.
There is a silver lining to this story of racism and stupidity…why not Minot, will no longer be the worst, God forsaken base to have been stationed at.
