Porn To Deliver the News
Porn will be the savior of America and her failing news outlets. Iran is a CIA led mess right now. Your Democratic congress-human, is getting ready to vote Yes for 106 billion more dollars to continue our never ending wars and iPorn just released it’s new application for
the iPhone!
Most of America has no idea about Iran and corporate congress-humans. They are very aware of iPhones, angry Palins and porn.
Put porn and the news together? Color America saved!
Put porn and a Palin together? You’d make billions!
I hereby take all credit for this porn/news business model and look forward to the many new and erotic ways of getting the
news off to you.
Better Gay Than Grumpy
The Phelps clan has just about wrapped up their most excellent trip to Seattle. In response to the visit of the much too closely related Phelps clan and their indecipherable message of stuff, (delivered via bad singing) 22,000 once not gay King County residents…just turned gay. Not sure if this was the reaction Jael had hoped for? Oh well, fuck her.
In related news, over at the Slog, they’ve gone and made further fun of Jael. Go here for more…and see below for confirmation.
Westboro Baptist Bitch Burger Walking
So the Phelps family had their gene pool on display today in Seattle. Jael was there and so was The Slog.
I had hoped the Phelps were going to bring their “A” game, but all we got was a big bucket of stupid. I did take some great photos of Jael and her slow moving friends. But since Jael and her gene pool will be scouring the internets for their photos tonight, I think all I’m going to give you is my interpretation of a bitch burger walking.
Check back later for the infinitely more interesting crowd photos and maybe even a pic or two of Kelly O’s hot gene pooler…
Coulda Shoulda Woulda
Ohio 2004? Could have been. But it’s not. This is Iran, like right now!
Nancy not signing on for billions more for Bush’s wars in 2007? Should have been. But it’s not. This is Nancy giving billions to billionaires just before she gives billions more for Bush’s Obama’s wars.
Roethlisberger comes up short! That would have been the call if Kerry had won. Thanks Ohio.
See how it all comes full circle?
Could have, should have and maybe it would have.
Supreme Court Declares Iranian Winner
This just in, our Supreme Court has just declared George W. Bush the surprise winner of the “Florida close” elections in Iran.
Justice Scalia was almost quoted as saying, “fuck you Hajis. It’s Manifest Destiny baby! Capitalism, Jesus and our Crusades
will not be stopped.”
Damn. Didn’t see this happening. Twice.
How to Speak to a Palin
Say Matt Lauer, in a couple of hours you get to do a pretend interview with Sarah Palin, the brain of the Republican terrorist network. So here’s a thought Matt, after you drill her about her shoes, ask her what the fuck she’s doing in Houston and can she say Exxon Valdez and TransCanada, 10 times? Really fast?
Of course you can’t Matt. You’re no Katie Couric…
For the rest of us, have yourself a listen to the audio below. It comes to us from the wrestling world and Jim Cornette. Jim shows us how to speak to a Palin.
Be nice if Jim had Matt’s job.
Blame it on Beer
Always, always blame beer first. And if it makes absolutely no sense to blame your actions on beer, go drink some, then blame it anyway.
Today we have two perfect examples of how beer should have been blamed…but it was not.
First we have Deputy Constable Chris Bieze of Travis County, Texas. He deployed his taser of justice, on a 4’11”, cantankerous 72 year old woman, who had been stopped for speeding.
Beer deputy, beer! Blame it.
Next up, Tyler Bradt from Montana. He rides his kayak over shit because he can. Here we see Tyler going over the almost 200 foot Palouse Falls, near beautiful downtown Washtucna, Washington.
For future reference Tyler, if there’s a chance you might die in a kayak on a waterfall, drink some beer first. Then learn how to pronounce said waterfall before it kills you.
Your friends can blame the beer later.
