The Shape of and L
West Point, the President…words! We are evidently a peace-loving nation that abhors war?
Get the fuck outta here!
In other news, there are no criminals at AIG, because the glorious Department of Justice says so…marijuana is still more evil than any Texas school district and we will wipe the Taliban off the face of the earth, because they’re in no way related to 9/11 and they refuse to share in their opium profits.
Thank you. May God bless you. And may God bless the United States of America…and stuff.
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Maybe a Commission Will Help
It’s official. Obama is indeed better at everything than Bush. The empire is expanding, while the really expensive empire ending wars on anything that makes Boeing money…goes swimmingly. Thanks for asking!
The death of the Gulf of Mexico and Florida is well underway. Maybe if Obama established a commission to look into the rumored death of the Gulf and Florida…then we’d know for sure who runs the Homeland.
Hey look at that! Obama did establish a commission to look into the rumored death of the Gulf. And Florida. Via BP. Que sorpresa!!
Perhaps the president could establish several commissions to establish known facts where none are wanted, because we’re already ignoring them. Think war criminals, fake wars, bailouts, torture…the wars on affordable housing and POW’s with fewer rights than a stray dog in your neighborhood pound.
You don’t need racists Teabangers threatening to hang the black man in their White House, to tell you something is terribly wrong with the Homeland. That is, unless you’re a MoveOn.org member in good blind faith standing. Then of course, everything is just fine. Blame a Republican, go about your Democratic fund-raising and don’t forget to plan for yet another lovely summer vacation.
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Immigrant Haiku
no passport–
the frog just hops
across the border
From 90 Frogs
By Karma Tenzing Wangchuk
For more about immigrant frogs and or humans who lack
passports, go here.
Thanks Tenzing.
Immigrants, papers and Obama change. Reminds me of what “we” and people like Rand Paul used to say about my Irish ancestors.
“The negro is black on the outside; the Irishman is black on the inside.”
“The Irish fill our prisons, our poor houses…Scratch a convict or a pauper, and the chances are that you tickle the skin of an Irish Catholic. Putting them on a boat and sending them home would end crime in this country.”
Reality, history and pretend change…do not look for many citizens of the Homeland to comprehend any of it, any time soon.
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Matter Beat Antimatter
Matter and antimatter go together like Rand Paul and small business owners, who’d rather not have the government tell them what color customers they have to let in, just ask him. Rand Paul! Proof positive that in Kentucky, antimatter has apparently won the battle of what matters.
In other news that might matter, evidently…the ocean is cold, deep and has a whole shit load of water in it. Which reminded me of a senator who said pretty much the same thing…water in the ocean? Yes it’s cold, it’s deep and there is indeed a bunch of it. Now let’s blow some Afpakistan kids up.
And you can take that to any bailed out bank of your choosing.
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Revenge of the Hanging Chad
It’s the Revenge of the Hanging Chad because, ‘Spanked raw by Katherine Harris‘ or ‘Presidential Election 2000: the self insertion by the Supreme Court‘ just doesn’t sound as good. While Katherine and the self-inserting are historically accurate, it just does not matter as we could care less about historical accuracy.
Although, I’ve already gotten 721 hits from people in Alabama searching for self-insertion. So…thanks?
So yes, the revenge of the hanging chad has come full, Gulf Stream circle. Oily deposits for Florida’s beaches and tourism, with oily death for the coral reefs not far behind. Way to go Florida.
In all fairness to the hanging chad, we don’t blame you, we blame John Edwards. Which just goes to my theory that nothing…really ever makes any fucking sense.
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Only in the Homeland
Time to check my list of reasons why I can’t get 15 to 30 thousand dollars per post.
- Did I screw Levi Johnston? nope
- Did I screw Levi when I was like 16? nope
- Did I get impregnated by Levi when I was a child? nope
- Did I have Levi’s hate child? uuummmmm let me check, nope
- Am I related to a fame seeking whore? maybe, but he’s
not a quitter - Does my dad want Alaska to succeed and secede? yes, if it pays me well, no if it don’t
- Because I can make shit up better than any Palin? obviously
So what the hell Single Source Speakers? What do I have to do to be a successful speaker with no real world experiences other than getting laid? I could write 10 books filled with lies about my Rogueness. I could simultaneously smack the piss out of Todd, Ted Stevens and Dick Cheney…while Sarah watched…in a squirrel hide bikini and sexy, tall Jesus approved heels…because Jesus was tall.
Come on…the sheeple would eat that shit up!! Si? No? Yes!
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The War Economy and You!
Headlines say, “Fewer cops, fewer services, higher taxes: Get used to it” and “Budget reality strikes hard” and even “Port Townsend schools to cut seven teachers.” Now multiply these stories of school budget cuts and higher taxes by a factor of something greater than what you think. Then just give up, because except for the Christians, most Homelandian’s never really mastered the art of multiplication.
There are some other mysterious headlines with a “hidden” message, that almost seem to tell us where the bright future of your children went.
Got school district budget woes, higher taxes and job losses in your community? Here’s why…”Obama’s Failing Wars” and the “Taliban Hold Sway in area Taken by U.S.” The Bush/Obama wars on brown-skinned humans of the wrong religion, pays Boeing and Blackwater billions, kills brown-skinned kids and our troops and all we get in return is a fake Teabanger movement of inbred idiots, who hate the gays, the Mexicans and the black man in their White House.
Obviously, we don’t learn from history, we just keep repeating it.
Which brings us to…
Your war loving Democrats, who will soon spend another $160 billion on the fake wars. There will be no Reaganesque trickle down assistance of jobs and recovery for freedom. Just continued wars on you, the environment, drugs, different looking humans and nations we think we can beat…but can’t.
There will be no victory. Just profit. Deal with it suckers. We’re all the last in line.
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