Don’t Be a Professional Fastener
I remember dad saying: “son, if you can drink every guy in the bar under the table, then you might be less inclined to learn any actual history…and or from the endless mistakes that you’re
going to make.“
Yup.
I should have listened to mom.
Professional Fastener
I remember mom saying: “son, get a bunch of tattoos and learn to weld useless crap on to them motorcycles for the TV.”
Yup.
Should have listened to mom.
2-4-6-8 Everybody Defecates
Justine Bieber does it
Al Roker does it too
I’m pretty sure Gaga, Katy Perry and Kim Kardashian do it
Though Madonna does it better still
Ronald Reagan did it in his pants
Gorbachev? You know that…oh!–I think he just did
Obama goes more than once a day
Dick Cheney went for Bush One and yes…Bush Number Two
Kim Jong-un, Bin Laden & Hitler
Shit just like Limbaugh, Norquist & Nugent
George Nethercutt pretends to never have done it
General Schwarzkopf does it wherever he wants
While General Petraeus holds it in…
For fear that someone will sniff him out
The poorest welfare recipients in the Homeland do it
As doo the richest welfare recipients in Romney’s head
Everybody’s doing it
Lockheed Martin thanks you for your support
Taylor Swift? I can’t say for sure
But I do know that she’s gonna break up with you
Pas de Deux
Sometimes helping others win new contracts,
Leads to the others shutting down the ports
Until the wars have ended.
Mostly though,
It doesn’t.
All I Need Are Some Tasty Waves and a Cool Buzz
We spell ‘tomorrow‘ in Washington State as ‘Victory!‘ over the Department of Justice, and the slow-witted folks at Homeland Security. For tomorrow, marijuana will be openly enjoyed here just like it has been at every Metallica concert since like 1954.
Yes the slow-witted folks at Homeland Security will fret — and you know they’re gonna posture — but in the end, they’ll be busy not speaking Pashto — in Twilight’s Forks — which is nowhere near Yemen.
While the DOJ was busy looking the other way — The Bush did torture
And Obama’s Bradley Manning counts too
Marijuana! War crimes! War profiteering and Norm Dicks’ Boeing!…wah?
Duuude…come on…chillax…and all will be righteous.
Well shit, my stoner buds do make a relevant point.
Mahatma Gandhi Could Have Said That
It’s easier to put a progressive slogan on a t-shirt
Than it is to stop terrorizing brown-skinned humans
Who live beneath our job-creating bombs
***
Vietnam Called
since the armed ted nugent is as intelligently menacing as the unarmed one
short misspell’d sentances of phreedum
should be all that is ever spoken
about him
The Vigilant Lens 