Archive for November, 2011

Who’s on Wrong Watts on Right

Posted in apathy, change, journalism, media, News, politics, processed cheese intellect, The Homeland, Washington State Blogs with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on November 29, 2011 by lens1

Naomi Wolf?

Right.

I thought she was left?

Right.

Wait, what?

Yes.

So Naomi is all wrong?  About it?

YesThis is what we’ve been telling you since 2008.

That Homeland Security is not involved locally?

Exactly.

Well, that’s unbelievable.

Stop it.  That’s silly.

What?

The Homeland is concerned with bigger things.

Like Occupy All the Streets?

No.  They’re busy with Mexicans, anti-war bloggers and D.B. Cooper.

Why?  That’s like a Naomi Klein Twitter, trying to correct the progressive journalists.

That’s right.

What the fuck are you talking about?

Naomi.

Watts?

Sure, why not.

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Shorter Holland’s Opus

Posted in apathy, change, journalism, media, News, politics, processed cheese intellect, The Homeland, Washington State Blogs with tags , , , , , , , , , on November 29, 2011 by lens1

If pretend journalists only reported on pretend news, would we then only know what we’re supposed to know?

Who knows!

Which brings us to Jonathan Chait Joshua Holland.  In the many years that I’ve been wallowing in the mire, Josh’s name has never come up.

If blog hits and progressive readership are to be compared, well then I think we know why Josh left some hair here.  Josh is huge on Democratic Underground…which is saying more than needs to be said.

Some of my favorite V-Lens comments have come from the Teabagging Jihadists and their Border Patrol agent friends.  Now Josh has overtaken the top spot…unless maybe, Celine Dion can be convinced to stop by?

Pretend journalists of the glorious Homeland.  You can’t be Patriot Acted without them and you sure as hell can’t depend on them to read Glenn Greenwald.  Which as many a Democratic Underground member will agree, reading anything Glenn Greenwald writes…well, we might as well not have a Constitution.

Yes, yes.  We might as well not.

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Mr. Holland’s Stonegarden Opus

Posted in apathy, journalism, media, News, politics, The Homeland, Washington State Blogs with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on November 28, 2011 by lens1

Unlike most pretend journalists on the internets, I prefer to butter my bread on just one side.  Making the bread easier to eat is just what I like to do.  The fact that eating less butter allows me to maintain a full head of glorious hair…is something Joshua Holland might want to
look into.

It’s a well known myth, that while the grammar police at the Seattle Fusion Center do enjoy my Indiana English and garammarin skills – they really aren’t big fans of my ability to lead all 47 of my readers…to the stinking corpse of freedom that lays rotting in their
lunchroom fridge.

If you must know, the rotting corpse of freedom lies in the tinfoil covered Tupperware bowl – second shelf, just behind the
Dead Guy Ale.

Today’s Vigilant Lens tip O the day?  Tupperware bowls are sold with lids.  Why not use them?

Anyway, as the Twitterverse and progressive big blog readers of the world can attest — Sunday officially became Joshua Holland vs. Naomi Klein Day, because most of AlterNet’s readers have never heard of Naomi Wolf.  Go here for Joshua’s bald hairless hard-hitting expose.

Apparently, Joshua has called Naomi insane, questioned her credentials and then curled up with a warm sandwich, only to spend the day defending the merits of mayonnaise — and the lack of proof of any DHS coitus insertus, with any local PD’s and or mayors as it pertains to #OWS.

Grammatically speaking, the above was one hell of a screwed up paragraph.  Lack of Joshua journalism speaking, go here, see more. Naomi speaking…it all depends on which Naomi you think Joshua is angry with.

For more on why Joshua supports the Obama wars on freedom and brown-skinned hungry children, try Naomi’s article right over here.

I don’t have proof that Joshua supports Obama’s wars on freedom and the hungry brown-skinned children of the world…but I do know about Homeland Security’s Operation Stonegarden.  For more on Operation Stonegarden and how it might possibly apply to local PD’s and mayors currently cracking down on the campers of Occupy and my run on sentences…try here.

For more information on why Homeland Security might be inserting itself into the bowels of our former freedoms, go here, think Constitution Free Zone… then go here, read less Joshua,  and then try more Onion – Americas Finest News Source!

Mr. Holland’s Stonegarden Opus.  It was composed well, but I’m still left wondering who it is that’s buttering which side of Joshua’s bread?

I think the butter spreaders are in fact winning.

Follow me…

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Red Thursday – Black Friday – Brown Sunday

Posted in apathy, change, economy, journalism, media, News, seattle, The Homeland, Washington State Blogs with tags , , , , , , , , , on November 25, 2011 by lens1

Another Red Thursday has come and gone with nary a nod to our border hopping – illegal alien ancestors, who are now thankful for the genocide and awesome flat screen teevee deals.  I suppose Red Thursday is a bit like Columbus Day, in that the Post Office will not deliver any smallpox infused blankets on those days.

This is what God invented Black Friday for.

God also invented Halliburton, Lockheed Martin and Jack Daniels for similar reasons, but as per usual, that’s another post – for a
different day.

Be strong Black Friday shoppers!  According to some, pepper spray is as tasty on a chimichanga, as waterboarding was to Liz Cheney’s
Jane Fonda.

Red Thursday, Black Friday, Brown Sunday…what’s next, Droned Muslim Tuesday?  Oh, no wait…sorry.  Japanese Internment Tuesday happens first, then we drift into Droned Muslim Wednesday.

Shit’s hard to keep up with.

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Thanks a Lot

Posted in apathy, change, media, News, politics, The Homeland, Washington State Blogs with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on November 24, 2011 by lens1

NASA is working on sending a fancy machine to Mars in search of organic, carbon-containing compounds.  NASA is not sending a fancy machine to places like Highland Park, Michigan in search of lights, jobs, healthcare or intelligent-governmental life.

Highland Park might as well be Mars without the NASA.

Thanks a lot.

Affluent urban liberals hated what Bush did to the Homeland.  Today the affluent urban liberal loves what Obama is doing to the Homeland.  The difference in vacuums being — war crimes, the loss of civil liberties and illegal war on their watch, only occur to the Patriot Acted who live in places like Highland Park.

Mars is getting probed by NASA — Highland Park as you may
have guessed, “is not.”

Hey thanks.  Thanks a lot.

Obama’s endless wars look just like Bush’s endless wars.  VietAFPakiraqyeminstan and their children might as well live in Highland Park.  The affluent urban liberal I fear, is just as blind as the Homeland’s deaf, dumb and dirt poor Teabagged kids, who as fate would have it…are still able to play a mean pinball.

Eight years of the Bush and three years of the Obama.  Eight years of the Clinton and twelve years of the Reagan.  Sure yes and why not..it’s most definitely all Ralph Nader’s fault.

Maybe NASA will help us?  Yeah sure.  Thanks a lot.

Dissent is related to al Qaeda – Newt Gingrich is not.  The Walton Family is counting on you to not occupy – but please do shop.  Iraq deserved it so let us shop.  Iran deserves it too…so just go shop.

Be thankful today.  Be thankful for all that we’ve got.  Please remember to shop, because Somalia and Mexico had it coming – Highland Park doesn’t need lights and lots of cheese choices are nice.

Thanks for buying what’s on sale, Happy Thanksgiving and Christmas starts tomorrow.

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That Space Between Bush and the Palin

Posted in activism, artist, politics, The Homeland, Washington State Blogs with tags , , , , , , , on November 23, 2011 by lens1

  • Everywhere that freedom stirs, let tyrants fear.

             – George W. Bush

  • All tyrannies rule through fraud and force, but once the fraud is exposed they must rely exclusively on force.

            – George Orwell

  • True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.

            – Kurt Vonnegut

  • The more you can increase fear of drugs and crime, welfare mothers, immigrants and aliens, the more you control all the people.

            – Noam Chomsky

  • Do you know why the Indian rain dances always worked? Because the Indians would keep dancing until it rained.

           – Sherman Alexie

  • In some cases non-violence requires more militancy than violence.

            – Cesar Chavez

That space between Bush and the Palin
A much brighter place more often than not.
Do dying turkeys care fiscally?
My ignored foreign policy question —
that the GOP debate forgot.

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Merrill Lynched

Posted in change, economy, impeachment, media, News, politics, The Homeland, Washington State Blogs with tags , , , , , , , , , on November 22, 2011 by lens1

The forgotten Army Anthrax attacks accomplished what they were designed to do — we forgot and Lockheed Martin did not.

Boeing, Northrop Grumman and Combined Systems Inc, would also like us to know that British Petroleum doesn’t care what we think about Wall Street.

So if you’re the Army, why not set a date for Bradley Manning’s preliminary hearing?  After all, we the Patriot Acted will remember only that to us, Saudi Arabian’s look just like Iraqi’s…and like radiation, anthrax can sometimes occur in nature.

Water under the bridge being what it is, Ehren Watada would like me to remind you that the Army does indeed lose trials. Especially when those trials are about illegal war, Army Anthrax Attacks or when PFC’s point out that war crimes are indeed also not legal…in this pretend world of equally enforced laws that we live in.

Military junta tear gas when deployed against Egyptians – tastes similar to the Homeland’s pepper spray and rubber bullets – when deployed against those who dare to occupy.

In related news…someone may have actually believed that Jennifer Lopez drives a Fiat.  Which is kind of karmically ironic, since fiat money is what we gave to Wall Street and the Pentagon…only to be Merrill Lynched in the end.

Watada — Manning — Lopez and the state of the Homeland State.  They’re all related…and prosecuting the Bush junta for the crimes of the Obama junta, is pretty much the only way things will ever change.

I wish us good luck with that.

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Premature Occupation Happens

Posted in economy, media, News, The Homeland, Washington State with tags , , , , , on November 20, 2011 by lens1

Premature occupation does occur.

It hardly ever happens to the best of us.

Fortunately — others can be found that will finish
what hardly ever happens to the best of us.

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From Tahrir to Here

Posted in activism, change, economy, journalism, media, News, politics, The Homeland, Washington State Blogs with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on November 19, 2011 by lens1

A Revolution Parks Where It's Needed

Tents are fast becoming (along with the beaten and chemicalized students, activists and 84 year-old’s of the growing #occupied districts) one of the biggest threats to the continuation of the Homeland Security State.

We no longer hear as much about the 28 guys in al Qaeda, the evildoers in Bush’s Taliban or even Fukushma.  But rest assured, once we’re through losing the wars against marijuana, Mexico, Yemen, AfPakistan, Iraq, Detroit, Libya, Central/South America, China, Africa, the Philippines, education, healthcare, jobs and common sense…we’ll be ready to evict and incarcerate the terrorist tent setter upper’s, no matter where they, you know, set up tents.

Tents!

No wait, my bad.  The Homeland and it’s paramilitary local PD’s…are already losing this battle too.

When the little tents first went up just down the dirt road from Bush and his brush cuttin, the 1 percent blinked.  When Cindy Sheehan and several thousand veterans, activists and concerned Homelandian’s appeared to not be leaving — anytime soon…the one percent went into action.  When the big tent at Camp Casey went up, just down the dirt road from Bush’s pretend ranch of manliness…Karl Rove knew it was time to back up his copies of everything Cheney had done.

It seems like just over three years ago, that the streets were filled with anti-Bush wars and anti-torture activists.  Since then, the streets have been fairly empty of anti-Obama wars and anti-torture activists…because Democrats don’t do war, and Democrats certainly don’t do torture.  Democrats just hide in the shadow of the Koch’s dam – plugging the hole with their hope – and caulking the cracks with
their change.

It eventually got ugly in Tahrir and now it’s getting uglier here.

The tents are back.  But this time, the tents are not filled with Democrats…they’re occupied with the Patriot Acted.

From Tahrir to here.
It is getting uglier
but ugly works harder
and MoveOn should probably
just move on along.

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