War on Florists
See, I knew there was an explanation. The Border Patrol is not really looking for terrorists in Forks or the Port Townsend area. It was the illegal trade of Salal. Apparently, La Migra finally “caught wind” of the massive black market trade in Salal.
You see, the florists of America have been getting their Salal from Mexicans without passports, for far too long. The good people of Mason, Jefferson and Clallam Counties, have been forced to take up Meth farming and lawn mower racing, just to make ends meet. I blame Democrats, Mexicans and the Florists.
This is America, you cheap ass floral arrangers. Buy your Salal from Secretary Chertoff’s list of approved Chinese Salal brokers, like the rest of us….you sedition practicing, Pansy placers make me sick.
Thank you Homeland Security. Thank you agent Bermudez. You are truly shining stars in the regime…
Sad News from Portland
Growing up in Vancouver, we loved, bled and died with the Blazers. Today, there is sad news out of Portland, Kevin Duckworth has passed away at 44.
Some pics of Kevin from The Oregonian and a good read with great links, here.
Rest in peace Duck.
Distracting Democratic Swag
Dateline Denver….Where we find thousands of giddy delegates and alternative newspaper geeks with multiple tribal tattoos, seated next to starstruck liberal bloggers, all joining in with the mainstream news creators in distracted coverage of stuff.
Watch as they regale us with tales of swag, sex and the quality of the food. Read about the nervous Democrats as they ponder if a Clinton might say something, distasteful. Count along as the question, “are bloggers treated fairly?”, is asked one more time…Smirk along with pretend journalists as they discuss their own perilous journeys in getting to the Pepsi Center…..thank God you all made it!
Meanwhile, there was a small gathering of Americans without credentials, who were not distracted by shiny objects in a bag.
The video of humans who need no swag.
The Truth Hurts
Griff Jenkins pretend journalist
Fox News ankle grabber, Griff Jenkins and his sissy cameraman, found that the word is out. Griff and his propaganda making team were outed in Denver, as the pretend journalists most of us know them to be. Watch sissy cameraman and Griff! on the video below, as it’s more fun than the other one currently going viral.
It appears that sissy cameraman takes issue with being called a liar. You’ll notice Griff could give a fuck. He is quite comfortable in his role. However, the Videographer of Lies, appears to have a guilty conscience.
Sucks to be you.
Terror Near Port Townsend!
As if one slow moving ferry, or a long slow bridge, covered in even slower moving RV’s, wasn’t enough to deter you from going to the Olympic Peninsula…..well then this bit of exciting news from the Department of the Glorious Homeland Security, might deter you further.
Especially if you have brown skin, are white with warrants and or a terrorist!
Wrong skin color
Yes, The Border Patrol is setting up “checkpoints” around the Hood Canal Bridge. Rumor has it that the Minute Men are backing them up, since local law enforcement are just not worthy. The confused, under trained agents, claim to be on the hunt for terror creating terrorists. Read about that and be misinformed about things, here.
A Vigilant Lens hint for you Homeland Security hacks. The evil doers who hate America that you seek? Are located in the White House, Congress and K Street. Hey here’s an idea! Set up checkpoints in DC around the buildings that these cowards inhabit. Then arrest everyone you see.
Problem solved.
I don’t roll on Shabbos!
Yes, it’s been ten years since The Big Lebowski first came to us. Head on over to Rolling Stone for more with The Dude himself, here.
Some say I’ve patterned my life after the Dude. To them I say fuck off man. Sure I bowl, drive around and enjoy the occasional acid flashback, but…OK they’re right.
The Dude abides. And The Dude curses like Dick Cheney. So move on along if you fear words, and or you find yourself at work, or are in the presence of children or Republicans.
Happy passage of another decade! Lets go bowling…
Tall Ships Tacoma be goin to Fiddlers Green
Arrg! Tall Ships Tacoma has turned out to be full of landlubber’s and scallywag’s. They be three sheets to the wind…Hornswaggler’s….Bilge water drinking, scurvy dogs!
Aye! Tall Ships Tacoma is broke. Blimey! say creditor’s who backed the sailing of the Disney like festival.
Ye squiffy’s had better splice the main brace….for thars ne’er place for sprogs in Tall Ships Festivals!
