Stay Home Alert!!
For Western Washington. It just might snow…and this means trouble. Anything more than an 1/8 of an inch and all hell breaks loose! Sea Tac will close, I-5 will become a parking lot from Olympia to Bellingham, and there will be non-stop news coverage of the 1/8 of an inch Snow Storm 2008!
I’m hiding for a couple of days…enjoy some fancy Metallica in the interim.
Stay Vigilant!
Sherman Alexie Scares Even More White Folks
Dateline….Prineville, Oregon. Shocking development! White folks fear Sherman Alexie and his book of masturbation! I say…..Who doesn’t!
A conservatively concerned father in Prineville, was snooping through his child’s belongings and was so shocked by the words written in Sherman’s book, he missed the hash pipe and three copies of Hustler Magazine. ( Hint to Prineville kids…you can get much better stuff on line)
Dad found that Sherman dared talk about life and shit that 14 year olds do. Like masturbate. You can read this tale of titillation, right here. Frankly, “I’m” a bit shocked that the Bend Bulletin used the word “yanks” in the title of their article….. you guys….that is damn funny!
The Vigilant Lens hint of the day to conservatively concerned fathers? If you’re worried about your 14 year old boy reading about “masturbation,” in a Sherman Alexie novel…you’re already much, much too late. I suggest you head on over to the Les Schwab there in Prineville, have some coffee and free popcorn and dream of Sarah Palin while you watch this video.
Vodpod videos no longer available.
Four Bucks is Stupid…
Scott Eklund/Seattle Post-Intelligencer
But so is eating one of these.
Yes McDonald’s is attempting to steal some coffee business from Starbucks. I think most of you will agree…that’s just stupid.
You’re welcome Howard. You can send my residual check
to the Vigilant Lens.
He Appalled Me…Made Me Feel Dirty
Made me cluck like a chicken. And with that…
Joe the fake Plumber returns!
Joe said some shit. It was stupid. Then he said Palin was awesome! Google it yourself. I won’t link to it.
And with that…Joe the fake Plumber will now go away!
The Mission Accomplished Man
Is faced with yet another glimpse of what the future holds for him.
Dignity…be damned!
We’ll Make Great Pets
How’s your grasp of the Chinese language, citizens?
The China Construction Bank Corporation, was just authorized by our Federal Reserve to operate in the United Sates. This would be the fourth Chinese mainland bank to operate here. Do you know what a U.S. Treasury note is? China does! Go here and possibly here, if you care.
You didn’t really buy all that shit about Mexicans and Muslims being your enemy did you? Sam Walton didn’t either.
Oh well, mi comprades and I could care a less. Because we know that….we’ll make great pets.
Stunning Dicks News
President Obama had stunning news today on Meet the Press where he said: “You know, the days of just pork coming out of Congress as a strategy, those days are over.”
Evidently, after hearing this news, Rep. Norm Dicks was overcome with a sudden urge to faint and was forced to cancel his 123rd viewing of Charlie Wilson’s War.
Norm will be undergoing therapy for Pork withdrawal syndrome, at a treatment center somewhere really warm and far too expensive.
In the long run, this will be good for Rep. Dicks, you and I, but not so good for Boeing, Mobilisa or the Border Patrol. Because Norm is going
to have to find someone to fuck with now….
And word has it, that means you Border Patrol.
