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Nipples to Ashes

February 27, 2012

It was the Oscar/NBA All-Star/Americans for Prosperity weekend!  A trifecta of nipples, fortune cookies and gay sex!

As the world breathes deeply from the forgotten Fukushima air, the Homeland partied like it was 2003…when Bush was gutting the Constitution, torturing children to death and mispronouncing corporate bailout.  Boy howdy how times have changed!

This weekend in Cali, the millionaires did prance in fancy clothes…as we hoped for a nipple to pop out.  Did J. Lo have a wardrobe malfunction?  Is President Obama the better Bush?

In similar news, Ben and Jerry’s actually made some ice cream with bits of fortune cookie in it…in some type of Billy Crystal homage to Jeremy Lin.

Did J. Lo have a wardrobe malfunction!?  Has Billy Crystal taken his act to Bagram?

Amongst the carnage of this weekends idiocy, there was also a meeting of scary Teahadists in Troy, Michigan.  I like to call them the shallow end of the gene pool who already run your country…Tom Cruise probably calls them Preclears.  Either way, the question should be asked: did J. Lo have a wardrobe malfunction?

Is it any wonder…that we don’t care about President Obama blowing up brown-skinned children who live near oil?  Isn’t it hilarious…that we as a retarded collective, actually think of Obama as a liberal?

Hey!  Was that J. Lo’s nipple!?

For me, the best part of this weekends idiocy, was Sacha Baron Cohen’s dumping of Kim Jong-Il’s ashes upon Ryan’s tiny Seacrest.

The worst part?  We’ll still breath in the air of Fukushima, ignore the emails of Stratfor, and forget “Enron’s” Bank of America…for a nipple.
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