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Partially Hydrogenated Acted

February 28, 2012

If Iran were as serious about ending the Homeland as Victoria Jackson is…would Yum! Brands Inc. open a KFC in Karaj?

Like Victoria, Iran is a test market.  Corporations need to run Victoria (and fried chicken and biscuits) up the flagpole first…to see if anyone will salute and or eat it.

We the partially hydrogenated acted, have proven that we’ll not only buy anything shoved in our general direction…but most of us will eat it too.  Which my Iranian friends, proves that fake fatty oils can turn a populace into apathetic voters, who’ll keep waiting for the next Dancing With the Stars…even as they wait in the emergency room for some dental care.

 Being as partially hydrogenated acted as we are, allows us to be free of the chaffing chains that accompany rational thinking.  Or so I’m told.

Our fear of rashes, is why the NYPD hate our freedoms more than they want to arrest criminals like Karl Rove.  Our inability to think, without fear of another Army Anthrax reprisal…is why we ignore everything that Rick Steves has been trying to tell us about Europe’s back door, since about 1980.

See the KFC in Karaj, or Obama’s Guantanamo for more.

But what about the Keystone Pipeline Vigilant Lens dude?”  “Do we not need the jobs, the oil and the freedom!?

Well first off, no.  And secondly…that was an awesome segue!

You see, invisible question asker, if the Keystone pipeline were being built for jobs and our own unquenchable consumption, then the refinery in Bellingham, Washington, would be the new Texas.  But it’s not.  Which means that the dirty Canadian oil is bound for China…not Spokane.

See Victoria Jackson, or Obama’s Vietghanistan for more.

What if anything, does Victoria Jackson, an Iranian KFC, and Leon Panetta have to do with the price of freedom in the Homeland?  Pretty much fucking everything.

On a capitalistic note…for you enterprising marketing humans that follow me on the Twitter – a new motto!: ‘The Homeland.  When we’re not trying to kill you…we’re trying to fuck you, ourselves, and or anything that breathes.’

The moral for today’s partially hydrogenated acted might be that – we’re probably FULLY Hydrogenated Acted, not just partially.  That and don’t take Chrysler’s word for how good things are in Detroit.  But do ask Tom Bergeron!

Iran, you guys have your Mullahs and we have our Donald Trumps.
So don’t sweat it.
Potato/potahto – welcome to freedom!
Let’s eat!

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