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Fracking the Canned Salmon of Wrath

February 3, 2012

“Down in a hole, Jesus tries to crack a smile…beneath another
shovel load.

– Soundgarden 1994

Using Soundgarden lyrics for vague political tinged quotes…makes more sense to me, than the Susan G. Komen’s race to defund the cancer screeners.  But I suppose that’s why God created hydraulic fracturing – to create flammable drinking water and truck driving jobs in Wyoming.

Defunding cancer screeners and creating good jobs with flammable water, reminds me of Reagan’s cheese.

Many of you didn’t grow up with Reagan’s cheese, but I guess the fact that more than one season of Jersey Shore exists…proves that we won’t die as easily as some had hoped.

Having recently enjoyed some stale crackers and canned food-bank salmon with an acquaintance, it struck me that change had in
fact occurred!

Reagan’s cheese, I can assure you, sucked almost as bad as his powdered milk.  But Obama’s canned salmon…is like a one night stand with either of the Duggar parents.  That my friends, is one of THE definition of change.

In my mind, (and my mind does work in mysterious ways) change can be reflected in the faces of the troops, being greeted by their glorious leader.

For example, here we can see the happy shiny faces of North Korea’s finest…as the well fed Kim Jong-un inspects them for free thought.

In this photo, we can see the happy shiny faces of our finest…as President Bush entertains them with magic-like hand gestures, of nonsensical fuckwadery.

In yet another photo, we can see the happy shiny faces of more of our finest…as President Obama inspects them for free thought.

As you can see, Obama’s canned salmon is far better than Reagan’s cheese.  Which of course means that – Obama’s change, is at least as good as Bush’s change.  However, all that change pales in comparison to Clinton’s change.  Clinton’s change ended war, poverty and cleaned up the environment everywhere, except for Hanford.  Hanford is like North Korea with a touch of Fukushima – that will never go away.

Remember folks, the air and fresh clean water that flows and blows by Hanford, may not have affected Washington State’s agriculture, drinking water, wine or wildlife…but the food banks-canned salmon ain’t half bad.
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