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Got a Uterus? Do You Breathe Air?

April 8, 2011

Sucks to be you.

Remember back in 2006, when the Democrats took control of both Houses of K Street and the world did rejoice?  Rumsfeld quit, Bush cut some brush and I guess we’re still waiting for the world-loving liberals to end the wars on everything?

Remember when Susan Lucci winning another Daytime Emmy was as surprising as Obama winning the Nobel Peace Prize?

Nope, me either.

The latest pretend showdown between the two guilty parties, threatens to shut down our glorious government, because Republicans fear the uterus and clean air.

The Democrats?  They fear being outed as war mongering torture supporters, who’d rather not be outed as the war mongering torture supporters that they are.

Of course being “outed” in the Homeland is only bad if you’re a gay Republican, or a liberal Teabanger with a conscience.  For more information on this, ask Norm Dicks.

There’s a tiny bit of radioactive iodine-131 in Seattle and Portland’s rainwater.  There’s a shit-load of human killing drugs, antibiotics and other death inducing goodies in your milk…so the radioactive rain does indeed seem harmless in comparison.

The pretend progressives who screamed for Bush’s impeachment, went home when the wars became theirs.  When the bailouts became theirs, they watched more PBS.  When Obama’s Vietghanistan showed no sign of ever ending, we attacked Libya and forgot about Iraq.

The evil Republican vs. the meek toasted, environment/union loving Democrats meme…is about as real as the difference between Rep. Norm Dicks and Osama bin Laden’s taint.

Don’t drink the milk, don’t bathe in the water, try not to breathe too deeply and if you own a uterus in the Homeland…hey!, at least you’re not a dead miner in Kentucky.

So what can be done?  What or who can we rely on?  I think the answer lies somewhere between American Idol and Arianna Huffington’s Twitters.
Vodpod videos no longer available.

Coal Miner’s Daughter (Featuring Loretta Lynn, …, posted with vodpod

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