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Voyager Escapes Earth’s Suction

December 15, 2010

Gravity Sucks?

In semi-scientific news for your Wenzday, the space probe Voyager has now reached the edge of our solar system, an astonishing 10.8 billion miles away from the Homeland.

Interestingly enough, when 10.8 billion miles is measured in U.S. currency, it’ll only pay for about 3 minutes of our wars against Islam.

When reached for comment, the reluctant probe of the Homeland voiced its support of Julian Assange and wondered aloud—that if the war criminal Henry Kissinger could still walk freely amongst us, why can’t Leonard Peltier?

Good question space probe!

I assume the Obama Department of Justice will now be convening a secret grand jury against the probe and extradition back to the Homeland will follow.  Probes must not be trusted, as they tend to pal around with green-skinned terrorists who hate us for our shitty health care and Brett Favre?

Well, if there was a lesson to be taken away from any of this, I suppose it’s that most of you unemployed college graduates, had a tough time getting past my spelling of Wenzday…and this of course, brings me nothing but hours of enjoyment.

Remember patriots!  Gravity is just the fancy name scientists use to describe the sucking action of the earth…and Yesterday by the Beatles is like gravity, because yesterday don’t mean shit.

Enjoy your Wenzday!

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  1. December 15, 2010 19:04

    Free Leonard!


    • December 15, 2010 20:06

      The Homeland could use a good dose of AIM about now. I suppose the rash of FBI created Muslimy terrorist teenagers…would suddenly stop occurring? There’s an FBI rash joke here somewhere…

      Here’s an idea, if the DOJ uses the Espionage Act of 1917 against Assange, I would fully expect the Republic of Lakotah to do the same against the Homeland.

      Thanks TripodMA…and yes, free Leonard!


  2. December 16, 2010 14:37

    Choose your favorite rash:

    I’m calling for a full scale infestigation.


    • December 17, 2010 18:59

      Sounds a bit like a tour in the PI.

      And now, I shall apologize to all of my former drinking buddies who happened to be Jarheads. This rashy behavior almost never happened in the Air Force…because we were good, God fearing boys who’d never take advantage of the local people, not to mention the unsuspecting girls back at the homeland.

      Sorry for the military detour Tripod…


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