Tommy Chong is Pleased
New Drug Czar Gil Kerlikowske is moving towards ending the war on drugs. Treatment over incarceration says Gil.
This is good news for Tommy’s old bong business and bad news for the Seattle Police Guild and the Border Patrol.
Far out man.
The Republican Game Plan
This game plan appears to have been taken right out of the Ted Nugent/Thelma and Louise playbook. In other words, the plan is destined to be ridiculed because it’s stupid. Ridicule will be closely followed by an FBI investigation into said plan, which then allows the game plan to drive over a cliff and die in a huge explosion. All of which will be carried live, by every media outlet known to human kind. Except Fox News.
Check out the new game plan, right here. The Republicans have decided to rebrand the Democrats as the “Democrat Socialist Party.”
I shit you not.
Being the good American/Veteran/Clyde Drexler stalker that I am, allow me to offer you…“National Republican Limbaugh Licker Party members,” some advice. If you really want to end the rule of the Democrat Socialist Party, do as I say.
Demand the prosecution of the entire Bush Administration and any complicit Congress-humans, the intelligence community, or Special Operations that were involved in the torture program. Next, demand that President Obama end the pretend wars on terror, drugs and common sense. Follow this up by creating a real stimulus program.
This program will hand a check worth $48,000 to every family in America that makes less than $75,000 a year. This plan will also include affordable health care, education and free iPods for every American. Then you shut down Fox News, imprison Limbaugh/Hannity and O’Reilly, fund all Veterans programs, Amtrak, alternative energy and require Sarah Palin to move to the Watts area in California.
Do this and you will be rewarded with an eternity of majority rule and all the guilt free gay sex you can handle.
You’re welcome bitches.
Torture is as Torture Does
So our Pravda News agency, better known as Fox, says the release of more torture photos will only further piss off the people we’ve been torturing and bombing to death.
Makes perfect sense. If your a fucking idiot.
Cheney vs Ventura
Holy fucking Donald Trumps nekked Carrie Prejean! Jesse Ventura wants to waterboard Dick Cheney. It would be my pleasure sir, to assist you. But in reality Jesse, the old coward would shit himself and drop dead if he saw you within two states of his diaper wearing ass.
We could use a few hundred more humans like Jesse in power. If only Jesse would come back from Mexico and lead…I’m sure he’d scrape up a few million followers. Catch that Homeland Security?
A Vigilant video hint, minute 1:56 in the first video is where you want to be.
Got Political Aspirations?
Do you aspire to lie, cheat, murder, steal, torture, pillage or rape your way to the top? Not sure if you’re a Republican or a Democrat? Well that depends on the severity of your gag reflex. Republicans do not have a gag reflex. Democrats will pretend to gag on anything perceived to be distasteful, but they’ll still swallow in the end.
Hope that helps.
Oh hey look, it’s 3am in the morning. Do you know who your Congress-human is killing today?
The orange ape used a branch to short out it’s electrified fence, the beast scaled it’s fence and started screaming things like ” McCarthyism!, Democrats!, free lawyerin for terrorists!, partisan attacks!, terrorists on welfare!, Obama is Black!!!”.
Then the old orange ape, climbed back into it’s enclosure and proceeded to make pretty pictures on a wall with it’s feces.
Obama Kills at Correspondents Dinner
But this is much better…
