There Goes the Martian Health Care System

Illegal Mars Immigrants

So we’ve just illegally entered the border of Mars because, well, we felt like it.

I remember when the Martians didn’t think they needed their own Border Patrol…hell, they didn’t even have a need for borders ‘to’ patrol. But now that they’ve “met us”, about the only optimistic event that will soon befall the Martians is…NASA’s Mohawk Guy.

After the Mohawk Guy, it all pretty much goes downhill for the Martians.

There will be lies – there will be fake food – and there will be the Pentagon’s NRA.

There will be endless war profiteering – there will be Mars ending nuclear disasters – and we will pretend to not know what you ungrateful Martians are complaining about.

We don’t come in peace, and neither does Wolf Blitzer.

Also, sorry about your awesome Socialist-Martian health care…we’re gonna screw that up for you too.