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Pretty News Sells Pretty Hate

February 9, 2012

Washington State is just like most of the other 42 states that make up the Homeland, in that education is job 28 or so.  Education’s importance is sandwiched somewhere between Boeing’s profit, and what passes for earth shattering news of wasted money.

There’s also a chunk of Rep. Norm Dicks’ pork in our sandwich…but we’re here to discuss what passes for news, not what passes through Norm.

Which brings us to the Mujaheddin  the King 5 News Investigators.

On King 5 News in Seattle, you can start watching news-like programming from around 0430 in the morning, to 1300 hours…when you are then given a short break with Days of Our Lives, Anderson, Dr. Phil and the increasingly frightening Ellen.

Why Dr. Phil is allowed to sit in your teevee, dispensing Chuck Norris justice in the form of CIA psychology…is better answered by those who fear Ellen’s marriage preferences, more than Obama’s Bush-like wars on brown-skinned kids.

After Ellen, comes the magic news hour known as 1700.  You’ll then have time to both boycott JC Penny, and enjoy yet another hours worth of totally different local news, while waiting for the really important national news at 1800.

Since Brian Williams only gets about 3 minutes to fill you in on who Northrop Grumann wants us to kill next, you might as well ignore Brian, and just watch the 22 minutes worth of commercials instead.  Maybe then Clint Eastwood will tell you where Bill Clinton hid President Obama’s liberal agenda?

Sooo, if you’ve just watched about 10 hours worth of news-like newsyness…somewhere in that vast puddle of wasted time, Susannah Frame and the King 5 Investigators! told you about millions of taxpayer dollars being wasted, by paying state workers to stay home.

If we lived in a fictional place where morality and common sense oozed from our pores like Rick Santorum’s frothy conservatism…oh wait, sorry.
We do.

Okay, lets pretend we live in a Homeland where freedom isn’t free, and natural resources must be stolen by force from other countries, before China or the Ferengi steal them…goddammit.  Bad example.

Alright.  Lets say that if our federal government were spending trillions, upon trillions, upon kabillions of trillions more of our taxpayer dollars… for things like endless wars against us, Islam, the Spanish Language, the environment, health care, education, bailouts and our pretend freedoms…wouldn’t a fancy exposé about $17 million wasted dollars seem so much easier to digest?

Yes.  I thought as much.

$17 million wasted taxpayer dollars.  Toss in a couple of thousand billion dollars here – torture and kill a few million humans there – and those wasted $17 million taxpayer dollars, are going to piss us off until something else distracts us.  Like breastfeeding on Facebook.

Fucking terrorist lactivists!

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