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In Which I Connect the Patriot Act with Soundgarden

July 29, 2011

Connecting things to the Patriot Act is as easy as pretending to work as a Border Patrol agent, anywhere near Forks, Port Townsend and or Port Angeles Washington.  There are no terrorists there, just tourists who act like terrorists.  So you can see why Homeland Security is expanding its presence on the Olympic Peninsula — phonetics.  Auditory Phonetics to be somewhat precise.

Terrorist, tourist, tomato and or potatoe.  Strictly Dan Quayle speaking
of course.

The only news outlet on the entire Olympic Peninsula to have actually engaged in something akin to journalism; as it pertains to the Border Patrol, is the Seattle Weekly.  Sure the Seattle Weekly is nowhere near the Olympic Peninsula, but neither is Mexico, Yemen or Iraq.

For more on what The Weekly has dug up, go here.  For more on what the Seattle Weekly didn’t dig up, try searching the Google for Fresh Del Monte Produce, ICE, The GEO Group and then check out this article at the Washington Post.  Agent Christian Sanchez calls the Olympic Peninsula where the Border Patrol pretends to be doing things…”the black hole” where agents have “no purpose, no mission.” 

No shit.

There’s a lot more to this story, but Rep. Norm Dicks would be much obliged if you just worried about other things.

Which brings us to the Patriot Act and Senator Ron Wyden.  Ron says that the Patriot Act as about 7 of us have come to know it, is much, much, waayy much worse than he can even tell us.  Because he’d then have to kill us before they kill him…Seattle would still be NBA free and Portland would not.  So why bother saying anything Ron?

I think Rep. Dicks had probably wanted us to worry about Boeing, Fukushima radiation or even the Mariners losing streak. But with all things being equal, Norm should probably just find a good attorney.

There’s still a small piece of the puzzle missing though.  A clue, a sign…maybe a word or two from a complete babbling idiot who isn’t related to the Palin’s.  Someone to connect the dots for us…a revelation or a poorly thought through brain fart perhaps?  Former President Bush says his apparent lack of reaction to the first news of the September 11 2001 attacks was a conscious decision to project an aura of calm
in a crisis.

That part where he says “a conscious decision”— Hilarious!  Dots connected, puzzle completed.  9/11, The Army Anthrax Attacks, debt ceilings, Patriot Acts and never-ending wars for your Social Security et al.

Soundgarden is at the Gorge.  Be there.  And be a tad bit more Vigilant.

The wreck of you, is the death of you all.
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