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Koch Envy

February 28, 2011

Koch envy is what most K Street owned members of the ruling parties get when they realize girls don’t have one.

Freud called this castration anxiety.  I call them Democrats.

The male members of the GOP party were significantly damaged during the phallic stage of their childhood.  Up was down, white was right and Father O’ Shaughnessy’s after school program at the rectory…ensured the reversal of the Oedipus to the Electra.  For the GOP girls think Ann Coulter.

Some would argue that Freud’s penis envy theory came up a bit short.  Perhaps he just failed to allow for the Costanza Shrinkage anomaly?

What, if anything, does all of this have to do with the price of rice in China, or Wisconsin?  Pretty much everything.

We’ve been reduced to watching the revolution on the Twitter because those wacky Middle Easterners make for great progressive Twittering!  Coincidentally, NBC/Comcast will not be showing you Al Jazeera but you can watch Charlie Sheen perfecting his role as Joaquin Phoenix…for the price of basic cable.

The much envied Koch’s and their phallic empire of freedom should be protested.  Protested and Hacked.  Some union’s are protesting, while Anonymous is doing the hacking.  Unfortunately, our progressive, well spelled signs of protest, have as much of a chance at shrinking the Koch, as it did of stopping the BushBama wars.

Koch Industries, like Lockheed Martin, is everywhere.  To truly have a profound and lasting effect on them, we’d have to boycott everything.  Everything from toilet paper, to things that burn gasoline, to salmon loving fertilizers and the union labor that makes most of it.

A good dose of corporate Costanza Shrinkage might do us some good.  But I for one, like my two-ply ass wipe.  I’m not going to buy a horse anytime soon and I’ve just used a bunch of guilt free—NW hydro power, so that you can see what goes on in my cabeza.

Word to my Cabeza

Fake Anarchists may not be the answer…but they sure as hell get a rise out of the Twittering progressives, who are not currently fighting in Vietghanistan.

The answer probably isn’t unions protesting other union workers.  But if an injury to one is an injury to all…then all had better stand up and walk off the job.  Like ten years ago.

The real enemy?…

The real enemy are not gay humans with gay agenda’s, who have liberal-minded white friends.  The real enemy isn’t even the Koch stroked Teabagger, who dwells in the shallow end of the gene pool.

The enemy is all around us.  It’s the Koch empire and it’s the Twittering Oscar hosting millionaire.  It’s Rep. Boehner’s Norm Dicks…it’s the 14 trillion-dollar bailouts and Wall Street.  It’s the trillion-dollar wars on Islam.  It’s the billions of dollars in the never-ending wars on drugs, Mexicans and your right to not be spied upon.

It’s also Ann Coulter’s Adam’s apple.  But as we’re becoming painfully aware, our troubles and Ann’s Adam’s apple, are bigger and more entrenched than we’d like to admit.

It’s possible that the fake Anarchists who made your 5 dollar latte this morning, might just be our only way out of this.  But I’d bet that a massive Tim DeChristopher action, would do more than all of our protest parades of well spelled signs…combined.

For this Monday, read about Tim and drink a cheaper latte.

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