Three Signs of the Apatheticalypse

Iraqi Father and Son after Dissenting the Homeland

As the Homeland continues its steady slide towards the exact opposite of anarchy, the glorious TSA, a subdivision of your glorious Department of Homeland Security…which is itself a subdivision of Boeing and GE…has gone and reminded us that Ralph Nader tried to warn you.

Faced with thousands of peoples just starting to figure out that Bush fucked things up…the TSA is threatening to detain and or fine any Homelandian who refuses to submit.

The Patriot Act was asked to comment, but as it’s very busy gearing up the TSA detention camps for dissenters, the Patriot Act referred any and all questions regarding freedom, profit and crotch searches to Representative Norm Dicks.

Since most of you are sitting in a ditch somewhere this snowy Monday…cursing the unmanned and untaxed infrastructure…lets take a peek at those three signs of the Apatheticalypse!

Sign number one.  We know that the Apatheticalypse is near, because not unlike ourselves, 92 percent of the occupied Afghanis polled had no idea why the Iraqi’s flew those planes on 9/11.  When polled further, 100 percent of the 92 percent of the occupied Afghanis polled, had never heard of New York City…but were certain that the CIA and Norm Dicks were involved in their having been occupied.

Sign number two of the Apatheticalypse?  Bickleton, Washington!!

Bickleton used to be home to several over-related white families who loved blue birds, but hated the environment and windmills.  Today Bickleton is still white, over-related and blue bird friendly, but it absolutely loves the environment and the money the windmills brought to town.  Bickleton also graduates 100 percent of her students and sends over 90 percent of them to college.

Unfortunately, 98 percent of the college educated Bickletonites, also have no idea why the Iraqi’s flew those Afghani jets on 9/11 either.

Which brings us to sign number three of the Apatheticalypse, the Pope!

Pope Benedict has now decided that condoms are okely dokely okay for male prostitutes.  I’ll give you a Bickleton minute…to come to grips with the fact that the Pope, condom wearing male prostitutes and Bickleton’s Taliban, are all interrelated and tied together by the fact that your Homeland needs to fondle the crotches of you and your children…because freedom isn’t free and the mission is not quite accomplished as of yet.