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Pretty in Pink

April 30, 2010

"Robert...you are SO fucking gay!"

In yet another sign that the wars on those who had nothing to do with 9/11 are not going so well…Robert Gates, Mike Mullen and George Michael, sent a sternly worded letter of anti-gayness to House Armed Services Chairman Ike Skelton.

Evidently, teaming up with George Michael did not set off any alarm bells of gayness with Robert or Mike.

General Michael Hayden, when not listening in to your phone conversations, is the former Czar of the CIA, the NSA and the Air Intelligence Agency.  General Hayden, when asked about all things gay and not asking or telling, had nothing to say.

Not Telling

George Michael however, had plenty to say.  “There’s things that you guess, and things that you know…there’s boys you can trust, and girls that you don’t.  There’s little things you hide, and little things that you show…sometimes you think you’re gonna get it?  But you don’t and that’s just the way it goes.”

I swear I won’t tease you, won’t tell you no lies…I don’t need no bible, just look in my eyes…

What?  WTF are talking about George?

I’ve waited so long baby, now that we’re friends…every man’s got his patience and here’s where mine ends

Okay, okay that’s about enough of that.

I want your sex.”

Hey man…just knock it off.  “I want you

Look dude, I’m just trying to show how ridiculous this whole…”I want your…sex!”

Alright.  Yeah, yeah yeah.  I get it George, I get it.  Now shut the hell up huh?  Fuck man!

There you have it in a nutshell.  Taking advice about gay humans in the military from the boys Mullen, Gates and George…is kind of like finding your uncle in the closet, sniffing the arm pits of your favorite jacket.

If you find yourself confused by this post, watch this video and do not join the Navy.

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