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Abused for Merit and Regretful Salty Rice

March 19, 2010

Do the Boy Scouts hand out Merit Badges for surviving sexual abuse?  What might that badge look like and would the child get extra badges for his continued silence?

As with many things here in the Homeland, nothing is ever as wholesome and Norman Rockwellian as advertised.

Look at Sandy Bullock’s Jesse James for example.

The Boy Scouts have been barring gay participants within their ranks for years, because the Scouts are chock full of pedophile troop leaders.  Of course that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.  Most of us know…that being gay does not a pedophile make.  Hiding your decades old kid fetish factory, by excluding gay humans, was as retarded as Sarah Palin getting a million dollars for a teevee show.  Per fucking episode…

Anyway, here’s a hint for you Scout Masters…leave the children alone you sick Palin tards.  Go to church if you want some action.  And for the love of the retired idiot, General John Sheehan!  When you scream GAY!! louder than anyone else at the dinner theater…we all assume that you’re so gay it hurts. Gay like General Sheehan.  Not that there’s anything wrong with that John…it’s not a choice man.  It’s just who
you are.

In other fun news of the Homeland, Condoleezza Rice has regrets.  She regrets that the rebuilding of Iraq was put on the back Bunsen burner of democracy.  Condi regrets not having been born a troop leader in the Boy Scouts.  She also regrets ever having been born.  How bizarre is that?

Condi does not however regret the illegal invasion and occupation of Iraq, or the death of a million or so Iraqi’s.  Mainly just because Saddam was an asshole and a danger to his oil.  Did I mention he was an asshole?

Hey Condi?  Maybe you could protect us from the evil Palins too?

There is some good news today!  Kraft Foods is going to cut back on salt in some of it’s “foods.” Over the next two years, Kraft will be cutting out about 10 percent of that salt in some of it’s most popular “foods.”

You know, Kraft?  Why not just take ten years and finish off another few hundred thousand Homelandians and call it
health care?

From the even better news front of the Homeland, President Obama wants to add an additional 10 billion dollars for school lunches, which is swell.  It’s not enough, but it’s swell.  Senator Blanche Lincoln, wants to cut that amount by more than half, because she’s a Senator of the Democratic persuasion.  Blanche fears that feeding children at school, will only create full tummy’s that are able to fuel brains, which of course leads to optimum learning conditions and well-adjusted kids.

Blanche calls this idea of hers, get ready for it…wait for it, waaaiiiittt for it…the Healthy, Hunger-Free Kids Act!!

How do you tell the difference between an Arkansas Democrat and Glenn Beck?  You don’t.  That’s how.

I am once again feeling overly pessimistic about my optimism.
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