Nixon Quit: A Short History

Richard Milhous Nixon was almost impeached for crimes against freedom, justice and pretend American values.

Instead, Dick quit, got pardoned, got a library and went on to become the model that Fox News would later emulate.

AAaaannnnddddd shit went downhill from there.

William Jefferson Clinton was half impeached for enjoying oval office blow jobs, bad sax playing and for not telling big enough lies for our pretend American values.

Bill finished his terms, got heart disease, got a library, got richer and is now helping George W. Bush speak English.

George Herbert Walker Bush came before Clinton, yet managed to do absolutely nothing worthwhile.

H.W. finished his term, got a library and went home to this and this.

This then happened, followed by 9/11, the new Homeland, endless fake wars, bottomless Pentagon budgets, a defense industry boner of patriotism, followed seconds later by a messy orgasm of freedom.

This led to an unwanted pregnancy (Enron) and a quiet abortion of your Constitution.

George Walker Bush finished out his terms via the Supreme Court, Florida, Ohio and Senator Kerry, and is now attempting to build a library out of gum, cleared brush and the blood of a million dead Iraqi’s and thousands of U.S. troops.  The Obama Department of Justice, is tasked with trying to keep W’s mouth shut, while simultaneously carrying out the same Bush doctrine of illegal and immoral activities.  Because like, there is a precedent.  And stuff.

Which of course brings us to Barack Hussein Obama.  He beat out an old liar and her older counterpart, to go on to change everything.

Change is a funny thing.

Change can mean hope for many and huge profits for just a few.

For some, the shade of Obama’s skin is in and of itself, far, far too much change.  For most, the campaign rhetoric and a bumper sticker was change enough.  For even fewer, skin color means nothing, just like empty rhetoric.

So what are we to infer from this short history lesson?  Ronald Reagan, Carter and Ford did not exist?  Presidential history is confusing?  The tag words Palin Porn and Meagan Fox attracts hundreds of viewers to the Lens?  Nothing ever really changes, because Nixon quit and took one for the team?

The answer?  All of the above.

For an easier to comprehend look at history, complete with scratch and sniff pictures and really large font, go to the soon to be completed George W. Bush library.

For more words of wisdom coupled with links of subversiveness…y’all check back in here another time.  And as always, for a good time call 867-5309.