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Probing for Anal Terrorists

January 6, 2010

Two fingers at a time!  One if you’re new to this sort of thing…

With the news that Homeland Security, you’re CIA, FBI, NSA, TSA, NBA, NRA, KKK and the OPP (you are down with the OPP yes?) are still, after all that has happened (Vietnam, Desert Storm, Iraq, Afpakistan, 9/11, World Trade Bombing I, WWII, U.S. Army Anthrax attacks, Wall Street) unable to share valuable information on their own criminal employees that would do us harm…well, all I can say is thank you Ann Coulter, Michael Chertoff and Stephen Colbert.

Ann Coulter has somehow managed to squeeze in the fear of foreskin and anal bombers, amongst her man-bag of psychotic shit to fear.  I think she was able to shove it in right next to her fear of abandonment and just below her fear of oxygen fed brain cells.  But her fear of airport scanner manufacturers, is probably the closest thing to reality Ann has dealt with in a dozen years.  Baby steps Ann!

Ann unknowingly fears this guy…Michael Chertoff. Not because of his ass-friendly, Homeland Securing ways, but due to his pushing of said airport scanning technology.

Michael is ass deep into airport scanners, because his lobbying firm…the Chertoff Group, represents Rapiscan, one of the companies that make…wait for it…airport scanners!!  Yeah!  And guess what?  These new and very expensive, Chertoff Group approved airport scanners, are unable to detect liquids, plastics and or chemical underwear bombs…like the one Ann and the CIA refer to as a ‘diaper.’

WTF is it with God fearing conservatives and diapers?

So let’s recap patriots!

After 9/11…a trillion dollars and counting, is handed out to defense contractors, your CIA and the Pentagon, for misadventures and death in sovereign nations that had nothing to do with the Bush family friends who attacked us.  Now, after the failed thong bomb, the failed “socialist” like healthscare, the failing pretend wars on everything, the Bush Depression and billions upon billions for billionaires and none for you or your broke Republican and or Democrat neighbor…

Weeeelllllll…lets just chalk all this up to the fact that Americans, are notoriously slow at recognizing patterns associated with ass-thuggery.  Especially when it’s their asses that are being thugged, by their K Street owned Democrat and or Republican ass-thugging thugs.

The best advise I can give at this point, would be to shower well before your next flight.  That, and if you are also unfortunate enough to be not white…you must decide before getting to the airport, whether you’re a one or two finger kind of human.

Take it away Colbert!!
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